


Second Nature

by Stormkpr



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, Inspired by 7x2, M/M, Memori - Freeform, Peace, Skyring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:14:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 50,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24592120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormkpr/pseuds/Stormkpr
Summary: Transported by the anomaly to a serene and beautiful rustic environment, will Clarke and Bellamy finally face their feelings for each other? Will Murphy and Emori stay strong together or face the same struggles that led them to break up on the ring? Bellarke, Memori, with a side of Mackson.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller
Comments: 111
Kudos: 165





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> “The garden suggests there might be a place where we can meet nature halfway”. – Michael Pollan (2007) ‘Second Nature: A Gardener’s Education’ p.64, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.
> 
> **Summary:**
> 
> Transported by the anomaly to a serene and beautiful rustic environment, will Clarke and Bellamy finally face their feelings for each other? Will Murphy and Emori stay strong together or face the same struggles that led them to break up on the ring? Bellarke, Memori, with a side of Mackson.
> 
> Mostly canon-compliant through almost all of Season 6, but canon-divergent before the very end of it. No Sheidheda though, so my apologies to anyone who enjoyed that storyline. 
> 
> Loosely inspired by events in 7x2.
> 
> Thank you to Penguin of Prose for beta testing!

**Clarke**

“Grab hold of each other and don’t let go! You can’t risk going in even one second apart!”

Gabriel’s words echo in Clarke’s ears. One of her hands grips Madi’s like steel, and the other reaches for and latches onto Bellamy’s. Clarke cranes her head around to look at Murphy and Emori. Emori is gripping Bellamy’s other hand, and Murphy – on the end of the neat row they’ve formed– is holding Emori’s. Clarke takes one more look at Bellamy, he nods firmly, and the five of them step into the anomaly together.

Clarke doesn’t like the fact that Madi is going into this – whatever **this** is – along with the four adults but her objection was crushed by two forces. One is Madi’s stubborn insistence – no, the word stubborn doesn’t even come close, Clarke corrects herself. It’s more like Madi has become unstoppable. And secondly, Sanctum isn’t safe and Clarke doesn’t want to leave her alone. If Gabriel is to be believed, Clarke and the others have to act fast – have to act **now** – to get Miller and Jackson back from the anomaly, otherwise they might be gone for good. That leaves Clarke without time to launch any fruitless protests against the idea of Madi joining them.

As they step forward, Clarke and the four others are soon enveloped by the green light. And then everything fades out.

When Clarke’s mind is conscious again, she realizes she’s underwater. She’s still grasping both Madi and Bellamy’s hands. Instead of feeling panicked, she realizes she almost feels pleasant and buoyant. Having done plenty of swimming in Shallow Valley, she and Madi instinctively know what to do. As they swim up towards the light, Clarke takes a quick glance to ensure the others are following her. Good. They are. Emori must have done some swimming in her pre-Praimfaya days near Becca’s island, and Clarke remembers that Murphy jumped into the first body of water he saw when they set foot on Sanctum. As for Bellamy, Clarke’s not sure when he had a chance to do much swimming, but he is keeping up. `Maybe during the three months that I was gone,’ Clarke muses, as she continues to swim towards the light. `After Mount Weather.’ She pushes the memory away, continues to swim, and appreciates Madi’s strong and smooth strokes.

Seconds later, Clarke and Madi break the water’s surface. As she breathes in the delicious air, she sees Emori follow. Moments later, Murphy joins them, gasping for air.

“Bellamy,” Clarke breathes. She doesn’t see him. When she was underwater moments ago, Clarke hadn’t panicked but she now feels a cold chill of dread take hold. She’s ready to dive back under looking for Bellamy when she hears a splash behind her and sees him finally break the surface. She watches him gratefully take in the air and feels her own breathing return to normal.

As she and the others swim towards the shore, Clarke’s mind starts to reflect on her panic moments ago. Perhaps the sensation of having been breathless reminds her of the death she so narrowly avoided at Josephine’s hands. Bellamy had saved her. Bellamy had given her CPR. When her heart had stopped, it had been his quick mind that had breathed life back into her.

Clarke takes a breath and brushes those thoughts aside. She has to focus on the here and now. They rushed into the anomaly – as Gabriel called it – to save Miller and Jackson who looked like they’d just been consumed by it. Clarke knows she now needs to concentrate on the mission and on keeping Madi safe, even though Madi will open her mouth and insist she doesn’t need protection the moment she even thinks that Clarke might suggest it.

Clarke’s next step is to take in her surroundings as she approaches the shore. Madi and Emori are already emerging from the water onto the land. Trees. Lots of thick, green trees all around. Hills in the distance, and the air is sweet and clean like Shallow Valley. This place lacks the boastful beauty of Sanctum – no ornate palaces or manicured rows of purple flowers. But as the sun hits the trees, highlighting the many different shades of green, Clarke again thinks of Shallow Valley.

“Interesting.”

Bellamy speaks the adjective as he tilts his head upwards. Clarke follows his gaze. At first it’s hard to see; the sun is bright. But there’s a ring in the sky. Like a rainbow in a picture book Clarke had a child, but instead it shines white and solid against the sunny sky.

The group makes it to the shore, and Clarke is glad for the bright sun, hoping it will warm up their wet bodies. There’s an undertone of coolness in the breeze. The shore is lush with trees, the ground consisting of large stones and small rocks along with debris like leaves and small branches.

“Looks so much like Shallow Valley,” Madi says. “I know it’s not, but it reminds me of it.”

Clarke’s heart warms at the thought of the place that was her -and Madi’s - safe haven for six years. One hundred and twenty five years may have passed since then, but to Clarke and Madi it’s truly only been a few months. Such contentment and peace they’d known there. But no, Clarke shakes her head. She hadn’t been fully happy there, not knowing if Bellamy and the others had made it. Not knowing how her mother was doing.

Her mother.

Clarke knows she really must force her brain to focus. The loss of her mother is a bottomless pit of grief and she can’t fall into it right now. She has a mission to complete and she needs to stay on track. “Everyone okay?” she asks. Upon seeing nods, she walks to the front of the group. “This way then. We need to find Miller and Jackson. And then get back to Sanctum.”

***

**Emori**

Emori walks with the others, her wet boots making squishing noises with each step. She is literally and figuratively following Clarke’s lead, keeping her mind on the mission. Sure, this place is beautiful but she’s seen nature before. Some of the worst brutality she experienced in her life took place in pastoral settings like this one so a spot of greenery doesn’t exactly evoke the same reaction in Emori as it might in others. She brushes those memories aside and glances at Murphy. He’s not making any sarcastic comments, and Emori isn’t sure if she should be worried yet.

The trees soon begin to thin out and then clear entirely. A cabin comes into view. And in front of the cabin, a garden grows. Neat rows suggest an array of vegetables, and an arch is dotted with growing tomatoes. The door to the cabin swings open, and Miller steps out with Jackson behind him. Emori sees the surprise in their eyes as they take in the group. She blinks a few times. Is the facial hair on both Miller and Jackson longer than it had been when they’d been sucked into the anomaly? An event which had occurred surely no more than a few minutes ago?

Jackson speaks first. “You must be freezing!” he says, his eyes on Madi. “Come inside. We just started the fireplace for the evening.”

“I’ll get the extra blankets,” Miller says. “No wait, you guys should change out of those clothes. There’s some extras. Come on in.”

“Guys,” Bellamy begins. “We stepped into the anomaly right after you. Maybe 30 seconds later. Forty at the most. How long….?”

Miller’s eyes grow wide. “Really? We’ve been here almost three months. We were about to ask what the hell took you so long!” he adds with a smile.

Moments later, Emori is with the others inside what has apparently been Miller and Jackson’s home. The warmth of the fireplace feels good. Miller is saying in the background that it has been getting cold here once the sun goes down, and Jackson is brewing tea for the group. Emori is glad to have shed her wet clothing, even though the shirt she was given is far too large for her.

She glances at Murphy and he reaches forward to grasp her hands and warm them between his. He’s sitting slightly behind her, having insisted that she get a space closer to the fire. Madi is sitting closest to it, despite her protestations that she’s not a baby and doesn’t need special coddling. Clarke and Bellamy sit behind her. Murphy continues to rub Emori’s hands. Even back when he’d first met her, he never once flinched at the appearance of her left hand and he doesn’t do so now.

“Okay, we’re not going to get hypothermia now,” Clarke is saying, her glance darting between Miller and Jackson. “Tell us everything.” And then as Jackson hands her a cup of tea in a mug with a slight chip on it, she adds, “Thank you.”

“Not much to tell,” Miller says with a casual shrug. “The green space goo sucked us up, and then a second later we were underwater - like you guys. We managed to swim out – barely – and here was this cabin.” Miller goes on to say that no one else is here now, but clearly someone was here in the past. He describes all the supplies that the cabin’s cellar was stocked with including ample seeds for the garden and a solid stock of canned and dried vegetables. “We keep the garden going – we learned a thing or two from Kara Cooper over the years. We’re pretty well stocked up. There’s acorns, mushrooms and onions growing in the forest too.” Miller cracks a smile. “Oh, and there’s algae in the water and we’ve eaten it too. We should go harvest some….remind you of old times.”

Murphy rolls his eyes. “You know what I’ll do if I ever see algae on a plate again.”

Emori cracks half a smile but then stops. She can’t think about algae without thinking of Monty and Harper. And Jordan. How will they ever get back to Sanctum, back to Jordan and Raven and Echo and the others? Did Miller and Jackson try? The portal – whatever you’d call it – had been so far underwater though. Emori has done enough swimming in her life to doubt that they could ever reach it again.

The others have the same question, and Miller answers it. He says he tried to dive a few times, back the way they came but it’s way too deep. Miller shifts his weight as he explains this and looks at the fireplace instead of at Clarke or Bellamy. Jackson busies himself in the kitchen.

Emori glances around the cabin as Miller talks. Back on Sanctum, even the modest furnishings they’d been given had been stunning, gleaming with bright colors and rich tapestries. This place is just cozy. The structure is made of wood, and it has a few windows with thin curtains. Jackson is going around now lighting candles as the sun seems to be slipping away for the day. Shelves hold tools, small herb gardens, and other supplies. The kitchen area is in the corner, a sturdy wooden table and chairs near it. A bed sits against a wall. The cabin is neat and tidy.

“Well, we have to go back,” Bellamy is saying. Emori watches him and then glances at Clarke. Clarke is intently looking at Bellamy. “I gotta get back to Octavia,” he says, stating the obvious.

“You can try tomorrow,” Miller says. “It’s too dark and cold now. But Bellamy….there’s no way to get back down there. You’d have to be a **machine** to be able to hold your breath that long.”

“We don’t even know,” Clarke pipes up, “if going back the way we came will get us to Sanctum.”

“It’s our only lead,” Bellamy insists. He looks at Miller. “I assume you two have scoped this place out.”

“We have,” Miller says with a nod. “The lake is that way,” he points, “and the forest that way. Then more water on all sides. Sky ring over our heads. Oh, the outhouse is out back but we’re working on adding a bathroom on indoors. And uh…that’s it. We’re the only living creatures other than the fish in the lake. Which are pretty tasty.” He pauses, “Speaking of food, what do you want for dinner?”

Jackson opens a few cabinets in the kitchen area. “Mushroom and wild onion stew, or bean and potato scramble?”

“Anything but algae,” Murphy answers for the group, and Jackson and Miller busy themselves in the kitchen.

Bellamy walks to a window and looks out. Emori turns her gaze back towards the fire which is soothing and peaceful. Murphy again reaches for one of her hands and holds it. Miller says he’s heading down to the cellar to get extra bedding, and Clarke, Madi and Bellamy follow him, apparently eager for a look around the cellar. Miller mumbles “it’s not that exciting” but the group troops down the staircase.

Moments later they return from the cellar with their arms full, and a discussion of who should sleep on the bed ensues. Jackson and Miller offer it to Madi, but Madi insists she doesn’t want any special treatment. Bellamy suggests that Clarke should get the bed given that she just lived through a horrible experience. Emori listens to his words and knows he’s right while also hiding a smirk - each one of them has lived through so much it’s hard to catalog or rank any of them at this point. Bellamy has a point though, she admits. Discussions volley back and forth regarding the bed, continuing on even as Jackson begins ladling stew into bowls.

“Emori and I will take it,” Murphy offers. “Boom. Problem solved.”

His declaration is met mostly with shrugs, and about an hour later – after paying a visit to the outhouse – Emori is inside the bed, snuggled next to Murphy. She is warm and content, but her mind is racing. She’s thinking back to all the strange places she’s been to since she first met Murphy in that dusty wasteland.

The scariest one was when they went to the ring. Emori will never forget the feeling when she was shot into space, or the sensations she felt the first few days afterwards. The crushing anxiety, blinking back the images in front of her because she could scarcely believe them, trying to just breathe as she adapted to her new life inside the metal ring in space. Looking out a window and seeing gleaming stars against the blackness, and trying to keep the anxiety from crushing her. But Murphy was there by her side, letting her know that she could do it. Reminding her that he lived there for 17 years, that it was safe, that the ring wasn’t going to tumble. He had been her rock and her support up there, until she had adjusted and then he’d morphed into the one who struggled.

**

**Jackson**

The next morning, Jackson is returning from a trip to the outhouse when he hears voices. It’s just Miller and Bellamy talking, he realizes. After three months of living here with no one other than Miller, he’s not used to listening to any conversations other than those he’s taking part in. As he washes his hands in the bucket, he hears snippets of their dialog.

“How many times did you try?” Bellamy is asking.

Although he can’t see them, he envisions Miller shrugging. “A few times. But Bellamy, I told you – it’s impossible. I can’t get anywhere near deep enough. That lake’s pretty huge too. Even if I could somehow hold my breath that long, how would I find the…portal? Or whatever it is. And you heard what Clarke said. Who knows if it would even lead us back to Sanctum?”

Jackson knows there were other reasons why he and his partner never tried too hard to get back. He’s not sure how much Miller will share with Bellamy right now though, and he’s not comfortable eavesdropping so he heads back to the cabin to put some tea on. A wide array of tea leaves grow wild here, so each morning they get to pick which kind they want. Jackson likes them all. He moves quietly about the kitchen, as everyone other than Miller and Bellamy are still asleep.

The truth is that Jackson hasn’t been back inside that lake since the day he and Miller arrived here. He’s far too afraid to go underwater once more. The day they arrived here on Skyring had been the first time Jackson had ever been submerged before. On the Ark, bathing had been accomplished via showers (timed showers, of course, since water was scarce). Sponge baths had been the order of the day inside the Wonkru bunker. And as for the months Jackson had spent living on the ground, he’d stuck with showers there too. Plenty of Skaikru had made use of lakes and rivers, enjoying learning to swim. But Jackson had never had much time for fun and frolic. Things like goofing off or even things like humor had been alien concepts to him, until Nathan Miller had stepped into his life. Those aspects of Miller had been partly why, Jackson knew, he’d fallen so fast for the younger man. It was, and still is, invigorating to be with someone who makes the occasional amusing remark, who looks for the lighter side of things.

As Jackson puts the kettle on to boil he wonders what Bellamy will think of the fact that he and Miller haven’t tried too hard to get back to Sanctum. Will Miller lose face in Bellamy’s mind? Jackson hates that thought but he hopes that their friendship is solid enough to avoid that. Jackson mostly knows Bellamy through Miller’s stories and recollections over the years since he’s not spent that much time with Bellamy.

Assembling the mugs and hearing Madi begin to stir, Jackson figures that possibly Bellamy will think they are cowards – but isn’t likely to dwell on it too much. His focus will be the same as it was when Clarke and Jaha had forcibly brought him to the bunker without Octavia. Bellamy will somehow claw his way back to his sister or die trying.

***

**TBC**  
**I hope you are enjoying this! Please let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

**Clarke**

“I was hoping you’d get a chance to spend time with other kids on Sanctum. Looks like that’s not gonna happen now.”

“I’ll be okay, Clarke,” Madi shrugs. “This place is nice. And I’m so glad you’re safe and that Josephine’s out of your head. I came pretty close to losing you.” And then Madi adds, with a tone and expression that remind Clarke once more of Madi’s maturity, “Think of our time here as a break. You need it.” She touches a hand to Clarke’s shoulder.

Clarke smiles and places a hand over Madi’s. The girl continues to surprise her. Clarke can’t argue much with Madi’s wisdom in this case.

“Okay,” Clarke says, taking a breath. “I’ll try to do that.”

The two are out in the forested area, foraging for mushrooms and onions. They’ve been on Skyring for three days now. There are plenty of chores to be done, and Clarke’s never bored here.

“Got you something,” Madi says, with a twinkle in her eyes.

Clarke puts her bucket down, intrigued. Madi continues with, “I gotta go back to the cabin to get it though. Stay here.”

“Um, okay,” Clarke says with a slight smile. “But can you tell me what it is?’

“That would kind of ruin the surprise,” Madi answers, and Clarke guesses the girl is fighting off an eye roll. “Just stay put. Maybe even sit down and take an actual rest.”

With that, Madi gathers up their buckets full of mushrooms and onions, and heads back to the cabin. Bemused, Clarke decides to take Madi’s advice. She lowers herself to the ground, resting her back against a tree. It’s solid and firm. Almost comforting, except for the one piece of bark that juts out against a sore spot on her back. Clarke tilts her head up and looks at the omnipresent ring in the sky. ‘Where are we? What is this place? Is Raven or Gabriel or Octavia on their way?’ she wonders. She and the others have discussed this and kicked around theories, but it doesn’t seem as if answers are to be found on Skyring. No doubt Raven is putting all of her considerable brainpower behind a solution. Clarke expects to look up any day now and see a contingent led by Raven heading their way.

As Clarke continues to sit quietly, she becomes aware of footsteps crunching the leaves on the ground, and a conversation taking place. It’s definitely not Madi. Clarke stays right where she is. She’s somewhat lulled by the tranquility of her surroundings so she doesn’t announce her presence.

One voice starts to come into focus. “…could never really believe it,” Jackson is saying. “Echo never seemed right for him. From the little we know of her anyway.”

“And don’t forget that little piece about how she tried to kill his sister,” Miller adds sarcastically. He goes on, “I felt it the second we stepped into that shuttle to take us down to Sanctum. She’s not right for Bellamy.” He pauses and then adds, “ If he and Clarke hadn’t been separated for those six years, it would’ve been Clarke.”

“Well yeah. Obviously,” Jackson agrees. “There was one day years ago – you were in Mount Weather then – the two of them were just standing in a hallway in Camp Jaha, and I had to go find Clarke. I felt the chemistry between them even then. It was like a jolt.” He pauses before he says, “It is too bad they were separated after Praimfaya.”

“We’re so lucky we were together during the six years.”

Clarke hates the fact that she is eavesdropping and she considers announcing her presence, but as she is debating, Jackson and Miller veer off in another direction and she can no longer hear them.

She considers their words. Bellamy. She’s always had a bond with him, that she knows. She also knows there’s a reason she radioed him every day for six years, there’s a reason it was his face she imagined and not, say, Monty’s or her mother’s or anyone else’s. Clarke also knows she’s gotten really good at suppressing her feelings and swatting inconvenient emotional truths aside ever since the day her father was floated. Her catalog of losses is too long, and people she loves have a habit of dying. It was almost a relief, Clarke remembers, that day she saw Bellamy and Echo kiss on that barren, desolate earth.

Clarke shakes her head. It’s a moot point. Bellamy will fight hard to return to Octavia and maybe he will do the impossible and succeed. Or more likely, Raven will surely dream up a way to bring everyone back. So Bellamy and Echo will be reunited soon.

Just then Madi returns with her gift for Clarke. It’s a smooth piece of bark along with charcoal. She can draw again! She’s been using the paintberries to draw, but charcoal is better – harder to find, too. Clarke pulls Madi into a hug.

***

**Emori**

Bellamy is off for his daily dive – they’ve been here 10 full days now, so this is his 10th try – and Clarke has gone fishing, though Emori suspects that Clarke is also just keeping an eye on Bellamy. That leaves Emori at the cabin with the others, trying to facilitate the building of an addition.

The cabin is too small for seven people, that much is apparent, and something needs to be done about it. Although the group spends most of the day outdoors, sometimes it rains - and nights are a challenge. When it’s warmer perhaps they can build a fire and bed down outside, but it’s been too cold for that. So the group has agreed to rotate usage of the bed. Regardless, neither couple is able to get intimate and Emori has to admit that the novelty of grabbing a few quick moments in the forest grows less and less exciting. Especially as the weather continues to cool, especially hearing Murphy complain about the twigs assaulting his backside. (Emori thinks back to the discussion that took place when the group made the decision to expand the cabin. Someone had made the comment that the extra bedrooms would allow the couples to have sex, Murphy jokingly reached to cover Madi’s ears, and Madi protested, in a beautifully exasperated tone, “I know what sex is!”)

And last night when Emori had to use the outhouse, she stepped on Bellamy on her way there. They need a bigger place.

So, an addition it will be. Jackson and Miller had already begun working on an indoor bathroom, but now the scope of the renovations has mushroomed to include building three bedrooms. There will be one for Jackson and Miller, a second for Emori and Murphy, and a third for Madi and Clarke to share. Bellamy insists he’s not staying long and he’ll just continue to sleep on the floor by the fireplace in the meantime. Emori admires his dedication though it’s already obvious that no one could hold their breath long enough and get down far enough to return the way they came.

Emori leans over blueprints and talks the team through them. Raven trained her well, she knows – and she feels another jolt, thinking of Raven, not knowing when or if she will see her again.

Murphy and Miller are currently arguing over which type of tree they should use for the project, and their voices are getting louder. Miller is saying, “Oh, so you’re some type of construction expert now, Murphy? I don’t remember you teaching that section during earth skills.”

“You don’t remember it because you were asleep the whole time, idiot,” Murphy shoots back.

Emori’s not sure whether this is a typical amount of snipping between the two men or not. She doesn’t remember how much they chafed against each other on Becca’s island, but she clearly remembers them exchanging barbs on Sanctum. An idea pops into her head.

“You know,” she begins, her voice firm, “on the Ring we’d do a lot of combat training. Kept us strong and was a good way to let off steam.”

Jackson seizes on the idea as well. He looks at Miller and says, “Nate did a lot of that in the bunker too. Maybe you two want to head outside and do a little training?”

Murphy and Miller grunt their assent and leave the cabin. Madi takes a pronounced breath. “Now we can get some actual work done!”

Emori smiles and turns back to the blueprints. As the day continues on, Emori can glimpse Murphy and Miller through the windows. Their sparring session seems to be going well. Life on the ring started out as well as could be expected too, until it wasn’t, until Murphy started to unravel. Would that happen again here?

***

**Clarke**

“Did you catch anything?”

Bellamy emerges from the water and asks the question. Clarke is sitting on a log, fishing rod in hand.

“Not yet. How-how did it go?” Clarke asks, though the answer is apparent. She starts to stand up, reconsiders for a second, and then sits back down.

“Better than yesterday. I’m getting a lot more used to it,” he says, smoothing sodden curls off his forehead.

Clarke clearly sees his determination with the glint in Bellamy’s eyes and the firmness of his stride. She overcomes her wavering from a second ago and stands up to follow him. She can leave the fishing gear where it’s at, knowing it won’t be disturbed.

“Bellamy,” she begins, catching up to him. “The nights and days are getting colder. And your clothes from yesterday are still damp.”

“I know. Not looking forward to changing into them. I might have to try to make a few of these dives naked.”

Clarke knows he’s being straightforward and logical, which she has to admire. But she also silently admits that her insides do a bit of a somersault at his words and the image they bring up. She regains her composure quickly.

“I’m gonna get the fireplace going while you change,” she insists.

“The others won’t like it,” he replies, with a shake of his head. “We’re in the middle of the day when the weather’s the warmest. That cabin can get hot pretty fast.”

“They’ll be fine. Last I looked this morning, they were outside chopping wood.” As Clarke and Bellamy come closer to the cabin, she amends her statement at the sight of Murphy and Miller fighting, “And practicing combat training, apparently.”

“I hope they’re just practicing,” Bellamy says looking at Clarke, and they exchange a small smile.

Once they ascertain that Murphy and Miller are indeed just practicing, Clarke continues to fuss over Bellamy and he is perhaps too tired to protest. She hands him yesterday’s damp clothing, which are hanging on the clothesline, and he takes them behind a bush to change. As he changes, she’s already inside the cabin, working on the fire. Skyring seems to have an endless supply of trees and wood, and Clarke is always grateful for that. Even from what she’s seen in the past 10 days and heard from Miller and Jackson’s own lips, it’s clear that the soil here too is blessedly fertile.

Bellamy returns after having placed his soaked garments on the clothesline. “You were always great at that,” he says, with a shake of his head and his eyes shining. “The fire. You get it going so fast.”

Clarke returns his smile. “Thank you.” And then she’s back to all business. “The thing you’ve been using as a towel or blanket is still damp too so please just let it keep drying. The fire will warm you up.” As she speaks the words, she can hear the sounds of axes hitting wood, and speculates that Madi must be with Emori and Jackson as they chop.

Bellamy nods and sits by the fireplace. Clarke notices how he lowers himself onto the chair without protest, and rubs his hands together. He might be resolute, but he is also tired and cold and he needs this time to rest.

Although Clarke’s morning has been comparatively easy – fishing is not exactly hard labor – she joins him by the fire. He’s quiet, his gaze on the flames.

“Tea,” Clarke says, gently slapping her hands against her thighs. “I should make you some tea to help warm you up.”

She makes as if to, once again, bolt out of her seat, but Bellamy reaches out a hand. He touches it to her arm. His hand is firm though surprisingly, Clarke thinks fleetingly, soft. She knows that his touch is evoking the same feelings in her as when he mentioned possibly diving naked a few minutes ago. She knows what’s going on inside her mind. And inside her heart.

But she reminds herself to suppress it. He has Echo, for one thing. And there is still the fact that Clarke’s losses continue to pile up. She can’t even think of her mother right now.

“Just rest. You haven’t stopped moving since we got here,” he says gently. Bellamy’s hand stays on her arm.

“Not true,” Clarke smiles. “Madi found me some thin bark and charcoal. I have a few drawings I’m working on.”

Bellamy tilts his head towards the back of the cabin, where the additions will be. He does finally remove his hand, which Clarke thinks might be good from the standpoint of her heartbeat. “When you and Madi get your own room, maybe you can ask her if you can draw on the walls.”

“Oh. It’s happening,” Clarke enthuses. “She always indulged me in Shallow Valley too.”

“Your eyes light up when you talk about Madi,” Bellamy observes. “And drawing. And Shallow Valley.”

“Three of my loves,” Clarke admits, keeping her gaze on the fireplace. She’s a bit too warm now, she knows, given that she’s not trying to shake off the chill of the lake. But she doesn’t think about moving from her spot at Bellamy’s side.

“Shallow Valley,” Bellamy says, his voice wistful. “The little I saw of it was beautiful.” He pauses, keeping his gaze towards the fire. “I wish I could’ve somehow received the messages you sent.”

Clarke is quiet for a few seconds. “I do too. I was lucky to have Madi but it got lonely there too.”

Clarke has been debating asking Bellamy a question for days. She folds her hands together, continues to look at the fireplace, and finally asks it. “Can I ask you a – a question?”

“Always,” he answers instantly.

She feels his eyes on her, though she continues to look at the flames. Clarke resists swallowing though the back of her mouth suddenly feels sandpaper dry. “You always talk about getting back to Octavia. You and Echo…?”

She lets the question trail off and glances at Bellamy. Fortunately he doesn’t appear flustered by the question, and he answers it without hesitation. “We’re not together anymore. We had a discussion on Sanctum. It- it was right after we were all back together. We agreed it was time to part ways.” A moment later he continues, “We didn’t say much else but I think we both hope to find a way to become friends. Or stay friends,” he adds with an awkward half-smile.

“Thanks,” Clarke says with a nod. “I wasn’t trying to be nosy but I was wondering.”

“I mentioned it to Murphy and Emori the other day,” he offers. “We spent so much time together on the ring I thought they should know. Murphy managed to keep from making any commentary on it, so that was good I guess. I’ll mention it to Miller and Jackson.”

She returns his bemused smile over the reference to Murphy, and then eager to change the topic, she adds, “The other day Emori and Madi and me were tailoring our clothes.” There had been enough extra clothing the cellar to give everyone a spare outfit, but the apparel was far too large for Clarke, Emori, and Madi. “She told me that on the ring, she and Murphy broke up. And then got together again once they were on the ground.”

Bellamy shakes his head. “Life’s been so crazy since we got back to the ground that I didn’t realize that you didn’t know that. Er – not that it was my news to share.” He pauses. “But I’m glad they’re back together. When they’re not snipping at each other, they make each other happy.”

“Seems that way.” Clarke doesn’t go on to share more of what Emori told her, of how a lot of the reasons for the breakup centered around John feeling useless, of the lack of anything causing him to have to fight to survive. When Emori spoke the words, Clarke wasn’t sure how to interpret her facial expression. `Is Emori worried that will happen again? We’re not doing much fighting for survival here. It seems all you have to do here is drop seeds in the ground and they grow, or go foraging for an hour and you get enough acorns for dinner.’

They sit together in companionable silence until Bellamy has dried off. They agree they should head outside to help the others with wood chopping. Clarke files away what she’s learned about his breakup with Echo. Bellamy seems fine, almost as if he’d expected the breakup to happen for a while, she muses and she’s glad for that. His mind clearly is still focused on getting back to his sister.

***

**Jackson**

Jackson’s back is killing him. The additions to the cabin have been coming along well, but it’s hard labor. During the past two weeks Bellamy sometimes forsakes his futile diving attempts and helps out, knowing that the group could use his strength, knowing that colder weather seems to be heading their way. Jackson admires that about Bellamy, knowing he’d rather spend every single day working on a way to get back to Octavia instead of enhancing a cabin he doesn’t intend to stay in.

Right now Jackson’s back is against a tree and Miller is kissing him. It’s the middle of the day, the warmest part of the day, and they’ve sought out their favorite part of the forest. It’s the most secluded area, but Jackson still worries.

“Come on,” Miller says gently. “Six years in that bunker and our spot there was the med supply closet. You gotta admit this is better. We would’ve killed for something like this instead.” He runs his fingers through Jackson’s hair.

“It is,” Jackson smiles. “Maybe I just can’t get used to it. At least we never had to worry about anyone walking in on that closet.”

“Except Abby.” Miller takes a small step back and removes his hand from Jackson’s hair. “Sorry. Sorry,” he repeats. “I guess I still can’t believe she’s gone. I keep thinking she’s back in Sanctum or on the ship.”

“It’s okay,” Jackson exhales. “You – you know, you don’t have to be afraid to say her name in front of me. I don’t want to bring her up around Clarke, so it’s good to have someone I can talk about her with.”

“I miss her. I can’t believe of all the people we were closest to in that bunker, **none** of them are here with us. Gaia. Niylah. Indra. Blod-Octavia,” he adds, stumbling over her appellation. “And Kane.” He shakes his head. “Can’t believe he’s gone too. Never got to say goodbye to him or Abby. All those years together….” He lets his voice trail off.

“At least we like the people we’re here with now,” Jackson supplies, putting a hand on Miller’s arm. “I love seeing you and Bellamy together. And Emori –she’s grown so much.”

“Yeah.” Miller tilts his head back. “Do you miss when it was just us here?”

“Maybe a little,” Jackson says, putting a hand on Miller’s shoulder. “But we’re so used to living stacked on top of people. I was kind of glad when the others arrived here. And even now, it’s so strange eating a meal sitting around a table with just a few other people, instead of lining up for your meal in a dining hall with a few hundred or more.”

With that, Jackson looks into Miller’s eyes. He knows how lucky he is that the two of them are together, that the anomaly plopped them out into such a beautiful place, and that they have friends who care enough that they went rushing in after them. He knows he’d be going crazy now if Miller wasn’t here by his side. He’s ready for that kiss now, and pulls Miller into it.

“You sure?” Miller smiles, after a little bit.

“Yeah. You’re right – this is better than the med closet in the bunker.” Jackson briefly quips, “The worst thing that can happen is that Murphy sees us and makes some stupid comment.”

**TBC**   
**Thank you to everyone who has commented, and I'd love to hear your thoughts!**


	3. Chapter Three

**_Thank you again to Penguin of Prose for beta testing, and everyone who has left a comment. I realize I haven't specified how many chapters this story will contain. It's not set yet, but the answer is at least five._ **

**Chapter Three**

**Clarke**

Clarke, Emori, and Jackson are best at numbers. The three of them have been doing calculations, and repeatedly checking their math. It’s been several weeks now since Clarke and the others arrived here, and Bellamy’s efforts to return the way they came have accomplished nothing except proving to the others that it’s impossible. So the three math experts agree that it’s time for a cold, hard look at the numbers.

“You’re sure it was three months?” Clarke has asked Jackson. She’s holding a stick that they’ve been using to write out their calculations in the dirt.

He nods. “Eighty-eight days to be exact,” Jackson says. “So almost three months.”

Clarke looks at Emori. “And we’re sure,” Emori says with a firm nod, “that no more than 30-35 seconds could’ve passed from the time we began speaking to Gabriel to the time we went into the anomaly.” It might have been a little more, might have been a little less. But Clarke and the others agree that 30 seconds is their best estimate.

The group proofs their calculations again, retracing numbers in new areas of the ground so they can be absolutely certain. If the time difference between Skyring and Sanctum is stable and unchanging – not something they can ever know for sure, but a reasonable assumption – and if it takes Raven and/or Gabriel three days to figure out how to get them back….then more than 2,000 years will have passed on Skyring. Even if it takes Raven half that amount of time, that’s still a millennium.

“So, yeah, we’re not gonna be around then,” Murphy remarks, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He and the others have now joined the three mathematicians. They stare at the numbers etched into the dirt. Unexpected clouds are circling in the sky and it looks like rain will arrive soon, wiping out their work.

“Unless Gabriel has some tricks up his sleeve that we don’t know about,” Clarke says. She shakes her head. “I wish I knew more about him. I wish I’d asked him more about his background and what he knows about the anomaly.”

“Hey, not your fault,” Bellamy says. He takes a step closer to her and puts his hand on her arm. “You were busy getting body-snatched and trying to keep us all alive.”

“Yeah. There wasn’t much time for meet and greets,” Miller adds.

Clarke takes her free hand, the one whose arm Bellamy isn’t touching, and rubs at the side of her head. She has a headache. She’d known, even before they started working the numbers, that it would amount to a very long time. But seeing it laid out starkly and having gone over it dozens of times with the others really lays their situation bare.

***

**Emori**

Emori stands with the others as they look at the numbers etched in the dirt and take in the reality of their circumstance. She smiles at Murphy’s quip ‘So, yeah, we’re not gonna be around then,’ and realizes she finds his sense of humor as appealing now as she always has.

“Hey,” Madi speaks up. “Can we break out that hard cider now?”

“This hardly seems like cause for celebrating,” Clarke remarks.

“I know, but Miller said it’s ready. And today’s as good a day as any,” Madi insists.

“Why not?” Emori asks. “I’ve been craving it ever since Miller mentioned it. Could provide a bit of consolation.”

“And it’ll get us drunk,” Murphy adds. He then quickly looks from Madi to Clarke. “Uh, is Madi allowed to get drunk?”

Emori wonders for a second or two what Clarke’s answer will be. Madi looks like she’s about to burst with anger, just as Clarke speaks the words firmly and looks at Madi, “You’re old enough to decide for yourself if you want to try some. It’s not like we have to worry about you driving a rover into a wall.”

“Yay!” Madi exclaims.

“Just stay away from the lake, okay?” Clarke asks. “And be ready for the fact that if you drink too much, you’ll feel like garbage tomorrow.”

“I’ll keep it to one cup. And I’ll stay away from the lake.”

“Good!” Miller says, clasping his hands together. He started working on the apples and yeast soon after he and Jackson arrived, so the concoction has had months to ferment. “I learned a thing or two from Kara Cooper during the six years in the bunker. When she wasn’t annoying the hell out of me.”

“She **was** a great farmer,” Jackson adds.

“Oh yeah?” Murphy asks, and from his tone Emori is suddenly worried about where this might go. “Didn’t the soybean crop fail under her? Isn’t that why you became cannibals? So how great of a farmer was she really?”

As Emori watches Miller it looks, for a second or two, as if he’s about to lunge at Murphy. He does lunge, but it turns playful instead of violent. “Careful, Murphy!” Miller bellows. “I’m hungry!” He opens his mouth wide and bulges his eyes in a mock-crazy expression.

Murphy and Miller erupt into another round of sparring. Emori has watched Murphy fight plenty of times – they even practiced on each other on the ring – and she senses that this is another harmless letting off of steam. At one point when Miller has Murphy down, he pretends to gnaw on his arm. They continue on, and Madi even makes a comment about how she’s going to have to spend the next 2,000 years watching them argue. Emori smiles at that. She then takes a look at Jackson. Oh. He doesn’t look as happy about the situation, judging from seeing his arms crossed over his chest and his frown. Emori files that fact away. He’s either unhappy about seeing his partner sparring or unhappy at being reminded of the dark year. Maybe both.

Once Murphy and Miller’s little fight is over, Emori is back at the cabin with Murphy, Miller, Jackson, and Madi. Clarke has declined to join them, saying that she has a headache and alcohol is the last thing she needs right now. Bellamy says he’ll stay with Clarke; a hangover tomorrow won’t help him with his daily trek.

“Disgusting,” Madi says, taking her first sip. “Truly disgusting.”

“I’ve drunk worse,” Murphy says. He takes another sip. Jackson is fiddling with the fireplace to get it ready as that rain looks imminent.

It’s strangely chilly and humid inside the cabin, Emori muses and she can’t decide if she wants her sweater off or on. She sits there and continues to drink. Miller starts to tell a ghost story, though Emori knows she’s only half-listening – perhaps due to the alcohol or perhaps due to the fact that her brain is tired from having spent so much time on calculations. She’s never had as much formal education as Clarke or Jackson and she’d been using a lot of brain energy to keep up. She takes another swig of the drink. She thinks of how patient Raven was – usually – on the ring when training her. She imagines Raven spending days then weeks then years on finding a way to bring them back, only to fail. Or perhaps only to finally make it here and find seven skeletons. Or perhaps to only make it here and end up trapped herself. Emori shudders a bit and takes another sip.

“Come on,” Madi says, when Miller’s story is wrapped up. “Let’s play lily pads.”

“Let’s, uh, do what?” Jackson asks.

“It’s a game that I used to play with my Mom when I was young. And later I found out that Bellamy and Octavia used to play it too! We need to go outside though.”

Emori’s not sure, or perhaps too drunk to speculate much, as to why Madi is so persuasive and has successfully gotten four drunk adults to rise from their seats and obey. Fleetingly she muses that she’s sitting here with a _commander_. Not that long ago, a _frikdreina_ like Emori would’ve been considered unworthy to even touch the hem of a commander’s cloak. And here Emori is, a few minutes later, hopping around with Madi and the others outside as they laugh their heads off and the rain begins to gently descend.

***  
 **Clarke**

“Are you okay? How bad is this headache?” Bellamy asks. He and Clarke stroll through the forested area.

“It’ll go away,” Clarke says. “And if it doesn’t, there’s that feverfew tea. That always helps.”

Unsteady on her feet due to fatigue and the headache, Clarke collides a bit with Bellamy. He reaches out to steady her and, somehow, they are now holding hands. Clarke clutches his hand as her mind begins to suddenly feel clearer. She keeps her gaze forward as they walk.

“Can you believe our lives?” he asks, with a shake of his head and bemusement in his voice.

Clarke glances at Bellamy quickly and sees that he is looking straight ahead. She resumes doing the same.

He continues, “We’re living in this place where time moves differently than on the planet we were just on.” He then corrects himself, “The moon we were just on. A moon which took a century to get to from earth.”

“Which we left after the only inhabitable land on was blown up,” Clarke adds, matching his wry tone. “Which happened six years after the second apocalypse. Sometimes I still can’t believe we spent a century asleep.” She continues to hold his hand. The other day when he’d touched her arm, she’d been surprised at how soft his hand was. It’s still soft, she notes.

“We have been through a lot,” Bellamy sums up. “And those are just the headlines.”

“I’m glad we’ve been through it together,” Clarke says, and she knows her voice conveys weight.

“Except for when we weren’t together,” he says, his regret laid bare given the suddenly ragged notes in his voice. “I left you on earth when we escaped in the rocket. I-“

“You did as I asked.” Clarke’s voice is less firm as she adds, “And I….left you. In the pits—“

It is his turn to cut her off. He shakes his head. “You did what you needed to do. To save Madi.” He exhales. “We’ve been through so much shit together. I’m good with just putting that behind us.”

“Me too. I’m just glad that we’re not separated now.”

They continue to hold hands and walk, but in silence now. Clarke thinks about the significance of their holding hands. Is this simply one friend holding onto the one who is unsteady on her feet, or more?

 _I want it to be more._ Clarke says the words to herself, understanding their truth. _I thought of him every day after Praimfaya. Then we were reunited– and back to fighting for our lives. And then I saw him kiss Echo, and reminded myself that I can’t fall in love, can’t have any attachments other than Madi, can’t open myself up to more pain. And now we’re here. This quiet and peaceful place that we might – might – spend the rest of our lives on._

 _But_ , Clarke reminds herself as they control to stroll in silence, _that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know how Bellamy feels about me. Or the fact that people I love tend to die._

Just then, Clarke feels the first splotch of rain and simultaneously drops Bellamy’s hand. She wipes the drop from her forehead. “Did you feel that? We should head back to the cabin.”

She glances at him now, unsure of how to read his expression. He looks intense and serious. That look makes her heart lurch a bit, which is why she needed to keep her gaze away from him when they had been holding hands.

“Okay,” he finally says, after several moments. “Let’s go then.”

They arrive back at the cabin to the sight of the others leaping around in the rain.

“Are-are **we** the ones who are drunk?” Bellamy asks. “Because I don’t believe what I’m seeing.”

***

**Emori**

Later that night, Emori is curled up next to Murphy on the floor. The additions to the cabin are coming along well, but right now they still have just one bed and it’s Jackson and Miller’s turn for it. Emori’s been drunk before, and she vaguely remembers in the past sleeping well after drinking. Tonight she’s not asleep, though the reason, she believes, is a good one. It’s just that she’s really enjoying the feeling of Murphy next to her, really enjoying listening to the rain outside and the fireplace’s usual comforting crackle.

“I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life here with you.”

Murphy whispers the words to Emori. She’d been pretty sure he was awake though she wasn’t positive, so she hadn’t initiated any conversation with him.

“Me too,” she whispers back. They shift position slightly so he’s on his back now and her head rests on his chest. She faintly smells the drink on him and it’s not unpleasant. “Can’t do much about it anyway. It’s nice here, and the food is a lot better than on the ring. The people are good.” She runs her fingers along his stubble, enjoying the feel.

“Yeah, like those two cannibals. One who kept us at gunpoint while the other tried to use you as a human experiment.”

“You know, despite all that, I kind of like them,” Emori whispers back and they both have to stifle their laughter at the absurdity. Emori almost wants to add ‘That shit was on Abby’ but doesn’t. Murphy loves and misses Abby, so no point in bringing up something to sour her memory. She does whisper, “Come on, Jackson is such a sweet man.”

“I thought you don’t like sweet,” Murphy grumbles.

“You’re sweet,” Emori smiles, gently poking him. “You just don’t show it to that many people.”

He grunts in reply and Emori thinks she might hear Madi shifting nearby, so she quiets down. As she finally does drift towards sleep, she thinks about the topic of sweetness. Monty and Harper. They were sweet. Emori couldn’t believe it at first when she’d gotten to know them, that two people could be that good. But they had been good, simple as that. Maybe life here would continue to be good as well, whether they were going to stay here for the rest of their lives or whether Raven and Gabriel would work some magic.

***

**Clarke**

Clarke is taking a break from working on the cabin additions. The group understands that you can only do so much felling, debarking, sawing, and laying in one day before your body demands a rest, so they allow anyone who needs a break to take it. She’s currently sitting in the forested area with her back against a tree, enjoying the sunlight and the clean air.

It’s been a month since the drunken lily pads day, since the day she and Bellamy held hands. They’ve had plenty of little moments since then. Conversations here and there. Another spot of hand-holding during an after-dinner walk. Times when she looks at him and knows there’s something there.

But it’s hard. She doesn’t want to get her heart stomped on again, and he’s so focused on getting back to Octavia. He doesn’t accept that they might never leave here, which clearly is preventing him from thinking of any future other than getting back to Sanctum. There’s nothing pushing them together.

Clarke hears footsteps, and she looks up to see Emori approaching. Once they make eye contact, Emori heads over.

“Mind if I join you?” Emori asks.

“Not at all,” Clarke says. “We all need breaks from building out the cabin. It’s hard work.”

Emori seats herself on the other side of the tree, so that she is resting her back against it as well, but not in eye contact with Clarke. “It is. And I’ve been so tired lately,” Emori adds.

“I know.”

Clarke lets her declaration hang in the air for a few moments. She has a good idea of what Emori has come to tell her. It’s impossible to keep any sort of secrets here. From the look on Murphy’s face yesterday over dinner to the decline in the number of monthly cloths hanging on the clothesline to Emori’s inability to keep breakfast down this morning, it’s fairly obvious.

“I think I’m pregnant,” Emori says.

Since she can’t see Emori’s face, Clarke tries to read her tone. The four words come out with a few different nuances though Clarke might describe the predominant one as happiness. She uses that as her clue for how to reply. “Congratulations! How- uh, how do you feel about it?”

“Mostly happy. We weren’t planning it. But as Murphy out it back on the ring, his birth control implant must’ve ‘crapped out’ years ago.” Emori repeats the phrase with a sincere laugh, and Clarke joins her. “We’ve been using the calendar method ever since. I haven’t been able to get my hands on any of the herbs that grounders use to prevent pregnancy. Didn’t have time to look for any on Sanctum, and haven’t found any here.”

“And the calendar method just doesn’t work every time,” Clarke summed up.

“Right. So we had an idea this might happen sooner or later. But we’re happy.” She adds, “We decided just now to tell everyone.”

Clarke turns and shifts her weight a bit so she can see Emori’s outline. “Let me know if I can help. And I’m sure the others would agree that if you need more breaks, take them.”

“Oh, I will,” she responds, with a laugh.

Part of Clarke’s mind whirs into doctor mode. She knows that miscarriages are common early in a pregnancy, and she also is fairly sure that Emori can’t be too far along. She’s likely only missed one or two periods. The doctor part of her brain wants to ascertain whether or not Emori knows how common miscarriages are and wants to try to project a due date. But no. Clarke forces that part of her mind to shut down. It’s not like there’s a ton of preparation they can do right now.

The two women continue to sit and talk, over nothing in particular now. Clarke finally rises to go back to work, and her mind again spins as she heads back towards the cabin. She knows enough of Emori and Murphy’s story on the ring and the struggles he went through which led to their temporary breakup. Murphy would protest otherwise, but Clarke wonders if part of it is that he doesn’t handle change well. As Clarke knows quite well from having helped raise Madi, parenthood is one of the biggest changes life can throw at you. Will it crack Murphy?

**TBC**


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

**Emori**

“I don’t understand Skaikru’s desire to name babies after dead relatives. Grounder clans don’t usually do that.”

Emori and Murphy are spending this part of the afternoon relaxing. Enhancements to the cabin are almost complete, and they’ve earned this break. They’re currently playing a game that Murphy invented, a game which he and Miller often play on their downtime. One of the bushes grows bright yellow flowers. Murphy found that it can be enjoyable to take one, uproot the stem, and try to split it down the middle by pulling it apart – without breaking the stem in half. These bushes with their flowers grow abundantly – and don’t really serve any other purpose aside from beauty - so anyone who wants to can play the game as often as they like.

Emori doesn’t fully see the fun in it, but she goes along. She’s made her declaration about baby names while referring to grounder clans in present tense - even though she knows that at this point, about 400 stragglers left on Sanctum are all that remain of the old clans.

“Not everyone in Skaikru did that. But hey, I told you. I’m open to whatever,” Murphy insists. His voice is kind, and Emori sees that he’s smiling. He usually smiles when they talk of the baby. It has only been about seven weeks since Emori realized she’s expecting.

“So we’re agreed that we’re not naming the baby after anyone?” Emori asks.

“Even if we wanted to, Emori, we’ve got so many dead people friends and family behind us. How would we pick just one?”

She grunts her assent. Murphy’s comment was halfway between sarcastic and serious, which Emori truly loves. And she recognizes its wisdom. She truly doesn’t feel like mentally running down the list of those they lost again today. “So we’ll have to great creative with names then,” she says brightly.

“There are a million names out there. We just have to pick one we like.” Murphy tilts his head. “Well, **two** we like. Unless we want to do what Monty and Harper did and just settle on one name whether it’s a boy or girl.”

Emori reaches for another flower. “Hurts a bit less,” she says quietly. “Thinking of them.”

He gently touches her arm. She muses that this day is passing slowly. Bellamy has already made his daily attempt to return to Sanctum, and his result is the same as it has been every day for the past four months. Emori then gazes up at the ring in the sky, still finding irony in the fact that she and Murphy spent six years living on “the ring” and now they’re on Skyring. How long would they be here? Given the time difference with Sanctum, most everyone here – except Bellamy – has given up hope that Raven or Gabriel will find a way to get here so they reckon that unless there are other forces at work, they will be here for a while. Maybe for the rest of their lives.

“I think about my parents sometimes,” Murphy says, after it has been quiet for a while. “I mean a lot more lately. Since the baby,” he glances at her, first meeting her eyes and then trailing down to gaze at her midsection for a few seconds.

“How is it – when you think about them?” she asks. She’s eager to hear his answer. They’ve discussed his parents before, of course, many times. She thinks that each time he talks about it, some of the pain seems to ease just from the way his facial features relax a bit.

“I mean, it didn’t hurt this time,” he admits. “Just - I need to figure out how to not repeat their mistakes. My dad loved me so much that he took a risk – and didn’t survive the result. My mom blamed me for it.”

Emori nods. She’s quiet for a while, and then when she sees that he’s not continuing, she adds. “You’re right. We have to be careful not to blame the child for anything they can’t control.” She wants to add bitterly words to the effect of also not casting the child out if they look different. But she feels she’s brought that up with Murphy a lot in the past. He’s always open to listening but right now Emori truly feels over it, over that nightmarish childhood, the unending hurt that almost left her nothing more than a hard shell. Almost.

“Right.” He shrugs and smiles at her. “We’ll figure it out. This parenthood business. Like we’ve figured out how to stay alive.”

She returns his nod.

Murphy clearly wants to get back to the game. “Come on,” he says. “You’re ahead. Let’s play a few more rounds.”

* * *

**Clarke**

She’s sleeping when it happens. Clarke’s sleep on Skyring is much like her best nights on Shallow Valley were. Deep, restful, comforting. Sure, she sometimes has nightmares just like the others do, just like she sometimes had on Shallow Valley. There are nights where she wakes up sweating or even screaming, but most of the time she goes under, stays under, and doesn’t wake until the sunshine streams in through their window or she hears someone puttering around with the tea kettle. She knows it’s obvious – she’s even discussed it a few times with the others – but not having the burden of the human race on her shoulders helps immensely.

She sleeps on the bottom bunk and Madi on the top. Clarke and the others have worked endlessly in the four and a half months since they’ve been here, and their cabin is now enhanced with its three new bedrooms. They need better insulation but they do just fine. Clarke and Madi’s room boasts a window, but neither one has had time to make curtains for it yet.

Due to her restful sleep, Clarke misses most of the incident. She misses the sound of wind picking up. She doesn’t hear the boom in the distance at all. She doesn’t hear Bellamy scramble out the door, doesn’t know that he sees the green whir that can only be the anomaly. Clarke finally wakes when Bellamy is by her side, gently tugging her arm.

“It’s back!” Bellamy is saying, loud enough to wake everyone. ”The anomaly.” Clarke has a couple seconds to regain consciousness, take in what’s happening, register the blustery winds outside, see hints of green through the window, and listen to Bellamy.

“Bellamy, wait!” Clarke says, leaping to her feet. “We can’t just go rushing back out there. We don’t know what will happen!”

Clarke has a few more seconds to process the situation. Bellamy is standing there, his gaze darting between Clarke and the direction of the lake where the anomaly appears to be. The fact that he is still simply standing there belies the look in his eyes. _He’s uncertain_ , Clarke realizes. _He knows that what I just said is true. If he truly wanted to jump back into it, he would have already._

In the meantime, Madi rises and climbs down from the top bunk, and others can be heard stirring. The sounds from outside are rapidly dying down. The green glow is considerably dimmer than it was even five seconds ago, and the wind is no longer howling. Clarke looks intently at Bellamy, and he takes a breath.

“I don’t know what to do, Clarke,” he admits. His mouth is slightly open, and she thinks he’s perspiring. “You’re right. We don’t know if jumping back in there will take us back to Sanctum.”

She steps closer and puts a hand on his arm. “It might take us somewhere else. It might kill us. Or it might drop us back on Sanctum. Hell, it might drop us back on Sanctum 200 years in the past. We just don’t know.” She speaks the words both firmly and compassionately.

Madi speaks up, slipping her shoes on. “Let’s head out there to take a look anyway,” she says. “Sounds like it’s all dying down now though.”

Madi appears to be right. The green mist is no longer visible at all and the night, now, feels just like any other night. However, this group knows how to mobilize fast – the others are already semi-dressed and heading out towards the lake. They look comical, some of them shirtless as they approach the lake brandishing their gardening tools as weapons. But by the time they reach the water, any and all evidence of the anomaly is gone. There are no footsteps to be seen, no sign that any person or any thing came through here. The group discusses it briefly and most decide to return to bed. It’s cold and they are exhausted – and, as Murphy mumbles, “Whatever happened here, we missed it.”

Clarke is unsurprised when Bellamy slowly seats himself on a log instead of returning to the cabin. Although Bellamy appeared indecisive moments ago, Clarke is firm now as she asks, “Can I join you?”

Bellamy nods, Clarke exchanges a look with Madi, and she lowers herself to sit on the log beside him. Madi joins the others in walking back to the cabin

The log isn’t that big and their sides are pressed together. She’s glad for his warmth against the cool night. Clarke hadn’t slipped her shoes on before the dash to the lake. The pebbles and sand along the beach are damp and her feet are already getting cold. A sharp pebble has left a small nick on one of her soles.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Clarke asks. “You-you heard something and ran down here to check it out?”

Bellamy nods. His gaze is straightforward, at the lake. He keeps looking at the body of water that he dives into every single day in his Sisyphean quest to return the way they came. Clarke finds the lake beautiful, and she wonders if he does too – or if he finds it a hated reminder of what he cannot do.

“I was asleep but it must’ve been a real light sleep,” Bellamy begins. “Then I heard the boom, knew it came from this direction. I ran out here. The wind was strong and there was green everywhere – the anomaly. Ran out the door. I almost ran straight into it.” He breaks off there.

“But you stopped,” Clarke finishes for him. She’s looking at him even though he continues to gaze at the lake.

“I stopped.” Bellamy speaks the words and is silent for some time.

Clarke waits. She’s getting goose bumps, and she doesn’t think they are due solely to the child night.

He finally takes a breath and continues. “It wasn’t fear of the unknown. I was ready to jump into it.” Finally he turns his head and looks at her. “I didn’t want to leave you. Didn’t want you to wonder where I had gone or what the hell happened to me. So I ran back to the cabin. To talk to you.”

Clarke wants to respond pragmatically. She wants to remind him he made the right decision, the logical one. After all, there was no guarantee that the green mass would take him back to Sanctum.

“Thank you,” Clarke says softly. “I would have missed you. Missed you horribly. Those six years when you were on the ring – all that time of not knowing if you were alive or not – that was hell.” This is as much of an admission as she’s ready to make right now. She nearly shudders at being this open and braces herself for polite rejection.

Bellamy’s response surprises her. “Your feet,” he says. “They must be cold. Is one of them bleeding?”

Clarke lets out a nervous laugh. “Yes and yes.”

“We should bandage it,” he says straightforwardly.

Clarke is still scared of how open she’s been, so she responds with sarcasm. “I mean, I’m not gonna die from it. I’ve fought battles while I had bleeding wounds a lot worse than this.” She takes a deep breath and forces herself to shift back into painful, terrifying honesty. “Bellamy,” she begins again, her voice firm. “I meant what I said a second ago. But I also don’t want you to feel trapped here because of me. We’ve been here four and a half months. If the anomaly returns in another four and a half months – and if you want to risk it, I-I don’t want you to feel that I am the one holding you back.”

Bellamy reaches for her hand and holds it. “I don’t feel that way now – and I won’t feel that way if it happens again. You’re not holding me back.” His voice is firm and solid. He looked indecisive in the cabin, but he’s not indecisive now, Clarke thinks. “I tried to use both my head and my heart today. I jumped at the idea that that thing might bring me back to Octavia, but my head had the stronger argument – we have no idea where or when the anomaly would’ve taken me.” He pauses and concludes, with even more firmness, “I’m glad I listened to my head tonight.”

Clarke takes in his words as she grasps his warm hand. Is he sincerely paying her a complement and showing her how much he values her thoughts? But is he also simultaneously warning that they both need to listen to their heads and not rush into a relationship, not do anything that would destroy their friendship? But if he truly feels that she’s just a friend, wouldn’t he have dived into the anomaly and trusted that all of his friends – Murphy and the others included right alongside Clarke – would understand what he did and why he did it?

Clarke doesn’t know, and suddenly the wound on her sole hurts more now than she’d said it did.

“Me too,” she says, acknowledging his words. She then gestures with her free hand towards her foot and adds, “I’m gonna go take care of this.”

“I’ll go with you,” he says, standing up and offering her his hand. They walk together, hand in hand but in silence.

* * *

**Jackson**

Dinner tonight consists of slim portions of grilled fish alongside spinach from the garden and a soup made of mushrooms, onions, and a spicy herb that Emori calls aseria (the others have never heard of it). They had hopes of having berries for dessert but the berries seem to be going through a mushy, tasteless phase right now. The group sits around the table, eating slowly and savoring the meal. This meal – like all the others on Skyring – is a veritable feast compared to what most of them have eaten for most of their lives. They know to be grateful for it, and they eat slowly.

“Okay,” Madi says, “whose turn is it to tell a story?”

Murphy points at Jackson and Miller. “These two.” He adds, “Just no ghost stories again.”

“Roger that,” Miller says, smiling. He teases, “I know they make you scared.”

“No, they make me bored,” Murphy says, and his quip is met with sincere laughter and smiles. “Your last three stories were ghost stories.”

“Tell us something from the bunker,” Emori suggests. Her pregnant status allows her to get away with things that others might not. Besides, by now, the group is not opposed to touching on formerly-taboo topics.

Jackson looks at Miller. He can tell from the look in his eyes that an idea just came to Miller. “We can tell ‘em about the guy who used to hit on you,” Miller says.

Jackson furrows his brow. “I can’t remember his name.”

“Oh, I remember it!” Miller says in his trademark droll manner, and the group giggles along with him. “Teiku,” he adds, supplying the name.

Jackson shrugs. “Go ahead and tell it. It’s not much of a story.” He looks at Murphy and adds, “Miller’s ghost stories are better.” He slices another piece of fish to enjoy.

“Well, you got us curious,” Bellamy says chuckling. “So we better learn about the guy who used to hit on you.” He then looks from Jackson to Miller and asks, “He hit on both of you or just Jackson?”

“Oh, just Jackson,” Miller answers, again his tone making it clear how he had felt about the situation. He’s clearly bemused about it now.

Jackson gestures for Miller to go on, and Miller divulges the story. “He was this big warrior. Well, most everyone in the bunker was a big warrior since that’s who the clans chose to be most of their survivors.”

“Which wasn’t the least bit intimidating,” Jackson adds with a laugh. He then nudges Miller, “Not for Nate, of course. But for the Skaikru who were there because we were ‘essential station personnel’ – yeah, a bit intimidating.”

“So this Teiku guy used to go by med bay and just flirt outrageously with Jackson,” Miller says. “Oh, he laid it on thick. He’d go up to him and say stuff like ‘Handsome Skaikru doctor, come with me.’ Jacks would politely tell him to back off.”

“Abby tossed him out of med bay a few times,” Jackson adds. He steals a glance at Clarke. He sees the flash of pain in her eyes which must mirror the one in his own. He’s fairly certain that it will never completely dissipate. He still misses his own mother and it’s been – he realizes now with a jolt – 18 years since she died.

“He’d keep coming back though. The whole thing made me so angry,” Miller says, shaking his head. “Indra once told me to keep my wits about me and not do anything stupid. Because I was about to.”

“So what happened?” Madi asks.

Jackson shrugs. “We used our heads. We knew that under Skaikru’s charter, paying unwanted sexual attention to someone was against the law, and we learned that grounder clans all had a similar rule. And you all know the punishment for breaking any rule down there. So we sat him down and had a little talk with him. Told him he needed to stop or end up in the pits.”

“Did he change after that?” Clarke asks, as reaches for her spoon again.

“He backed off. But he broke some other law soon after that and ended up in the arena anyway,” Jackson supplies.

“He did,” Miller adds, “but he won so he was released. But a few months after that, he broke another law and he didn’t survive that battle.” Miller spears, a bit too eagerly, another forkful of spinach.

Murphy grins at Miller, “You sure remember everything about this guy, don’t you? Didn’t like that you had competition?”

Murphy’s tone is more teasing than anything, and Miller apparently is going to allow it. “Sure didn’t.” He then adds, “This was before the dark year, so you don’t have to make any jokes about this ending with us eating him after all.”

Jackson finds himself laughing harder than anyone else at Miller’s last remark. He feels lighter right now. Maybe, he wonders, something Miller has been saying for a while is right – that talking and laughing about something bad really does help get through it. However he knows that getting over Abby’s death is a different matter entirely.

Later, Jackson asks Emori how she’s feeling and her answer is, “The same as when you asked me two hours ago.”

“You’ll let us babysit, right?” Jackson asks.

“Oh, I expect you to!” Emori says, her eyes glinting. “John and I will need to occasionally sleep.”

*******   
**TBC. Please let me know if you're enjoying and would like more!**


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a TW for this chapter. So as to avoid spoilers, please scroll to the bottom for the TW.

**Chapter Five**

**Clarke**

Clarke takes a moment to reflect upon the fact that she and Emori had been worried that Murphy would revert to his behavior back on the ring, the behavior that led to his breakup with Emori. But instead right now, Clarke is more worried about Emori than Murphy.

Clarke first learns that something is wrong during the midnight-black hours of the night. The cabin needs better soundproofing and insulation, and secrets are hard to keep on Skyring. Clarke usually sleeps well nowadays, but this is one of those nights where the ghosts from her past rattle their chains and wake her. Trying to fall back asleep, she hears stirring in Emori and Murphy’s room, which shares a thin wall with Clarke and Madi’s. At first she believes the sounds are sex, and she wishes she had earplugs or even a second pillow to put over her head– but the cabin’s basement which never seems to run out of amenities does not have either. She soon realizes that the sounds aren’t sex though. She hears Murphy and Emori talking. Although Clarke isn’t trying to eavesdrop – she, in fact, truly wishes she couldn’t hear any of this – her body freezes when she hears the word “bleeding”. Then there are footsteps, and the sounds of Murphy and Emori scrambling outside, presumably towards the outhouse.

Clarke suddenly has to use the outhouse as well, but she waits knowing that this isn’t the time. She also knows that the word “bleeding” could refer to anything, and she knows that plenty of people bleed when they are pregnant and things still turn out okay. Again Clarke wishes she were sleeping as soundly as Madi apparently is. More time passes. Finally she hears the cabin door open again. As always, Bellamy sleeps in the main room by the fireplace and he must’ve woken up too. It’s muffled but she hears him say something to Emori and Murphy. They exchange brief words, and Clarke hears someone knock on the door to Jackson and Miller’s room.

It’s bad, Clarke knows, if Emori needs a doctor. Maybe she and Murphy are just being extra cautious, but she doesn’t see them going for the doctor unless they are gravely worried. Clarke silently and quickly calculates how long Emori’s been pregnant. Danger zone. She’s still under 12 weeks, still within the danger zone, in terms of miscarriages.

Clarke wishes she could stop her train of thought and she chides herself for not giving the couple privacy. But she reminds herself that privacy is one luxury they do not have on Skyring.

Hearing a few more murmurs now in the direction of Jackson and Miller’s room, Clarke debates whether she should offer her help. She decides against it. If Jackson needs someone else with medical expertise, he will come and get Clarke. For now, just staying inside her room and giving the couple some space is the best thing she can do.

“Is something happening?” Madi whispers groggily. Clarke hears the girl shift her position and guesses she’s leaning over from the top bunk.

Clarke quietly recounts what she’s aware of, and explains why she’s not getting up to offer her help. Madi says she hopes it’s not what they think it is, and says she was really looking forward to meeting that baby.

The next day is hard. Emori remains inside her room as Murphy prepares breakfast for the group. Murphy sounds – to Clarke – remarkably mature and calm as he tells the others, “So yeah, Emori is bleeding and cramping. Might be a miscarriage, might not. She’s gonna rest today and see where this goes.”

“Does-does she want us to go in and check on her and talk to her?” Clarke asks. “Or does she want some room?”

“I’m not sure,” he admits. “I’ll ask her when I take her breakfast to her.” Again Murphy’s voice is calm and steady. Clarke knows that all of them are different people now than the ones who left the Ark on the dropship seven years ago ( _no_ , she silently corrects herself, _132 years ago_ ), but she still marvels at how much Murphy has changed.

Clarke goes about her day. She weeds the garden alongside Miller, mildly wishing the weather wasn’t so humid today but knowing to be grateful. She watches Bellamy depart for his daily dive and return with the same result. It seems he has plateaued – his timing hasn’t improved in the past few weeks and she can feel how frustrated he must be. Murphy then walks up to her and tells Clarke that, for now, Emori wants to be left alone and just rest. Later she watches Jackson doing the laundry and Clarke’s heart drops at the number of bloodied rags hanging on the line to dry. In the afternoon, Clarke forages for acorns alongside Madi. When it’s time for dinner, Emori sits at the table with the others. She answers their concerned faces with, “Still bleeding, still cramping, still not wanting to discuss it,” picks at her food, and soon returns to bed.

***

**Emori**

Two days later, Emori finishes her dinner and wordlessly returns to her bedroom. Not that long ago, she had been thinking of how much she loved this cabin. Having her own room with Murphy. Leaving the door open at night – except, of course, during sex – so they could enjoy the crackle of the main room’s fireplace. She used to enjoy her days of fresh air, honest work, and the company of people she feels comfortable with before retiring to her cozy bed. Just as she used to love being able to share that bed with the person who loves her, the soulmate she never thought she’d ever find – but did. Emori used to love getting under the blankets with him, feeling his soothing warmth next to her, sometimes leaving the window open a bit when it’s not too cold so they could enjoy the delicious night air.

Tonight Emori feels only emptiness.

She knows she’s fortunate that she doesn’t need surgery. Jackson has medical supplies and there’s a plant here with leaves that make a decent anesthetic when they are boiled; Emori has gone for most of her life without any real medical care so this is a step up. She’s heard that plenty of people need surgery after a miscarriage to remove “tissue” but as far as Jackson and Clarke can tell, Emori isn’t showing any signs that she needs that. ‘I guess I’m supposed to feel lucky,’ she sighs to herself, knowing that she feels anything but.

Emori continues to lie in bed. She’s suddenly too warm and kicks the blanket off. Still, sleep does not overtake her. She can hear the others talking and moving about the main room – the evening is still young and they are walking on eggshells, being extra careful to keep their voices down and their movements quiet. Emori wants to hate their kindness, wishes she could shove it back in their faces even as she knows that’s not fair.

She drifts off eventually and falls asleep, but it’s one of those light, fitful sleeps that doesn’t bring any real rest. She’s awake again. John has come to bed, and he’s laying next to her now. Emori knows, just from having shared a bed with him for most of the past seven years or so, that he’s not asleep. She knows she’s been short and curt with him. Last time he tried to hug her, she pushed his arms away.

‘Tomorrow,’ Emori silently promises herself. ‘Tomorrow I’ll talk to him.’ She doesn’t want to listen, but a voice inside her nags at her that she can’t continue to treat him this way.

***

**Clarke**

Sometimes when the weather is warm, Skyring’s inhabitants decide to get the outdoor fire pit going and sleep outside. Clarke doesn’t remember when she and Bellamy discussed doing so today, but as Jackson and Miller prepare dinner inside the cabin, Clarke and Bellamy start to build up the outside fire pit. As soon as dinner is over, the two wordlessly begin transporting their bedding outside.

“Can I join you?” Madi asks, her blanket and pillow in her arms.

“I thought you hated sleeping outside,” Clarke says, with a smile. The Madi whom Clarke first met all those years ago may have been almost feral, but this Madi has grown accustomed to a few creature comforts.

“Right,” Bellamy adds, genuinely sounding perplexed. “I remember last time you did it, you complained about dirt in your hair - and that your hands and feet were freezing by morning.”

“I can change my mind,” Madi shrugs. She starts to arrange her bedding, and then adds, “Okay, I have other reasons for sleeping outside tonight.” She lowers her voice. “Emori’s in a terrible mood. Which means she and Murphy are either about to have a shouting match or really loud sex. And it’s been four days since Miller and Jackson had sex, and from the looks they were giving each other just now, I know exactly what they’re doing tonight too.”

Clarke ignores part of Madi’s statement, and takes a step closer to the girl. “We have to be patient with Emori. This is a real, concrete loss that she’s suffered so she’s allowed to be in as many terrible moods as she wants,” she says firmly. “And it’s only been days since the loss.”

“I know,” Madi responds, equally insistent. “So I’m giving her space.”

Gradually and subtly, the sun fades away and darkness takes over. The night is clear and warm, with just an undertow of a cold breeze. The fire pit should protect the trio from too much coolness. Clarke likes the way the flames look against the night sky.

“We’re glad that you’re joining us,” Bellamy says with a smile. He fusses about the fire, which gives his smiling face a warm glow, and adds, “I hope you enjoy it more this time. Maybe you won’t get too much dirt in your hair tonight.”

Clarke bats away a stray bit of smoke, and Bellamy gestures for her to sit with him so as to get out of the smoke’s path. She moves over so as to join him sitting on a log. “Dirt – and bugs I think too, if I remember correctly,” she remarks with a smile. “Downside of us living like this and knowing everything about everyone.”

“A few bugs won’t kill me.” Madi takes a breath and steps closer to the duo. She stands before them head on, and looks from Bellamy’s face to Clarke’s. “Speaking of knowing everything about everyone, can we talk about something serious for a minute?” she asks.

Matching Madi’s words, the girls’ tone is thoughtful and weighty. Clarke looks at her and feels her insides shift just a bit. “O-of course,” Clarke answers. “Is everything okay?” She takes a quick glance at Bellamy, but the surrounding darkness with just the glow from the fireplace makes it hard to see his facial features. Clarke returns her gaze to Madi.

“Watching what Emori and Murphy are going through is making me think about how short life is,” Madi says plainly. “It might be a paradise here, but we can’t take anything for granted.” Despite the crackle of the fire pit, it is so quiet that Clarke can hear every rustling of every tree and bush.

Madi takes a breath and looks, to Clarke, like she has much more to say. Clarke has a guess as to where Madi is going and she can’t decide if she herself feels terrified or excited over it.

“I don’t know what either of you are waiting for,” Madi continues. Again her voice is firm and straightforward. “You two are obviously meant to be together. Any idiot can tell that after spending all these months here with you. So I’m guessing each of you feels something but neither of you wants to speak up.” She pauses and then adds, “I’m not the only person who’s noticed it either.”

Clarke keeps her gaze in Madi’s direction and remains silent for several seconds. Bellamy is quiet too, and although Clarke wants to turn and look at him, she doesn’t. Madi remains standing and facing the pair.

Finally, Clarke says, “Madi, you kind of dropped a bombshell on us. Can Bellamy and I talk?” She wishes her tone was lighter but knows it came out as heavy as Madi’s.

“Yeah. That means I’m heading back into Sex Cabin,” Madi says, this time with a slight smirk and a smile. She grabs her bedding and returns to the cabin. Clarke watches her go, sees her open the door and hears it close. Her heart is beating rapidly and it’s quiet for several more seconds.

“She’s not wrong, Clarke. At least not about me. I do feel something for you.”

Clarke hears Bellamy’s words and her breath catches. She has to steady herself to keep from falling off the log. Bellamy sounds serious and thoughtful.

Although only a second or two of silence have passed since Bellamy’s declaration, he continues, “I hope that doesn’t upset you or make you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that I’ve always felt we had a connection. But then we were separated all those years, each not knowing if the other was alive, and each having our own demons to fight….”

“I feel it too,” Clarke admits quietly. She looks down at her hands which she folds together and then twists around. “But Bellamy. People I love die.” She speaks that last sentence with strong emphasis.

Bellamy takes a breath. “You don’t cause that, Clarke. All you’ve ever done is try to take care of your people and be the best leader you can. Your love hasn’t caused anyone to die.”

“And your love saved me,” Clarke murmurs. She almost doesn’t realize that the words have left her lips; the words surprise her, but she continues on. “When Josephine….” She closes her mouth. She feels bad for never thanking him, she feels terrified by their conversation, and yet she’s excited beyond measure.

“I think I realized it then,” he says. “I always knew how I felt about you in the back of my mind, but I couldn’t ignore it after that. The next time I saw Echo, we had….the conversation. And then,” he adds with a laugh, “the seven of us ended up here.”

Bellamy continues, his voice taking a different tone. “But speaking of us ending up here….there’s still the fact that I have to keep trying to get back to Sanctum. To Octavia. I-I’ve even thought that if the anomaly appears again, I might jump into it. I have to try to get back to her.”

“I understand,” Clarke says, nodding. “If Madi were still in Sanctum, I’d keep trying to get back to her too.”

She can feel Bellamy turn his head and look at her. “So is it hopeless then?” he asks. “You believe that everyone you love dies, and I can’t stop trying to get back to my sister. Should we just put these feelings aside?”

Clarke contemplates his words. She wants to answer yes. Yes, it’s hopeless, yes everyone she loves dies, yes she’d rather not watch Bellamy kill himself running into the anomaly if it appears again. But she can’t. So instead she asks, with a small laugh, “Are you willing to give it a go with me, even if it puts your life at risk?”

“Yes.” His answer is solid and firm, spoken without hesitation. “Are you willing to give it a go with a crazy man who makes a futile dive into the lake every day – and plans to run into the anomaly next time it appears?”

“Yes.” Clarke knows she’s taking on a grave risk, opening up her heart again. She knows someday she might have to watch him enter the anomaly and never see him again. She cannot agree to go with him, not when she has Madi to care for. Yet somehow Clarke understands strongly that saying no to Bellamy’s question is not an option.

She turns and looks at him, and sees the intensity in his eyes. It’s not just intensity, she knows. It’s love. She leans in closer to him and closes her eyes as their lips touch.

Kissing Bellamy feels somehow strange and yet perfectly comfortable at the same time. The taste of his lips and the feel of his beard and mustache are somehow both foreign and familiar. Both exciting and soothing. Clarke knows her heart is pounding with thrills while she simultaneously feels like she’s coming home.

As they continue to kiss, in the back of her mind, Clarke thinks that taking it slow is a good, logical approach. They seem to have all the time in the universe here and there’s no need to rush anything. And yet she can’t stop kissing him, can’t stop running her fingers against the back of his neck, through his hair. Can’t stop delighting in every new sensation, in the warmth of their bodies pressing together. So Clarke is not fully surprised when she finds herself asking, after several tantalizing moments, “Do you want to…..?”

“Yes. But – but we need to think about pregnancy.”

“Oh, I’m at a good place in my cycle,” she answers. “We have at least a week to go before we hit the danger zone.”

And with that, Clarke realizes that she’s happy to abandon her head to her heart – and to her body. Rational thought is over for the night and instead Clarke focuses on connecting with Bellamy, becoming one with him, pleasing him and taking her own pleasure. Vaguely, at one point, she’s aware of someone leaving the cabin – probably to use the outhouse and probably seeing much more than they had bargained for – but Clarke realizes she doesn’t even care. When she and Bellamy finally surrender to exhaustion, Clarke happily curls up next to him. She’s feeling happier than she can remember in a long time.

**Jackson**

Jackson sits beside Miller. The two men have been given one of the more coveted chores this morning: fishing. It’s an easy job, and it’s theirs today because Miller’s back has felt strained lately. He needs a day free of the bending and lifting that accompany most gardening, foraging, and cleaning tasks.

“It finally happened. Clarke and Bellamy,” Miller says.

“Took them long enough.” He looks at Miller and they exchange a small laugh. “Unlike us. As soon as you were single and we had a minute to breathe….” He lets his voice trail off.

“Yeah, well Clarke and Bellamy had a bunch of other things to deal with.” Miller takes a breath. “I hope Emori and Murphy can work through their situation though.”

“They will. I have no doubt of that. They just need some time to mourn their loss. And figure out how to mourn together.”

The pair hears footsteps and sees Bellamy approaching. He looks much how he did at breakfast – smiling, happy, as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Bellamy greets the couple and says he’s going to make his daily attempt to reach Sanctum. Jackson and Miller are surprised, but they give Bellamy his privacy and leave their fishing gear by the shore. They head off into the forested area.

“I really admire his devotion,” Jackson says. Walking through the trees, he never fails to appreciate Skyring’s beauty and tranquility. There is a light breeze that breaks the encroaching heat. The sun is bright, turning the trees and bushes so many different shades of green. It’s such a world away from the dreary bunker, and Jackson is endlessly grateful for it. He and Miller have discussed many times the fact that they would be content to spend the rest of their lives here.

“Me too. He’s always been that devoted to Octavia. I guess Clarke’s okay with him still doing this every day.” Miller shakes his head and thinks back to one of his first real interactions with the Blakes, back at the dropship camp, when Lincoln was their prisoner. He’s told Jackson about those days 100 times before, but he does it again today. During their bunker years, the two men had almost nothing but stories and conversation.

Jackson listens to the story and is, indeed, happy to hear it again. He tells Miller once more how glad he is that Miller survived that, survived everything that was thrown at him. He then adds, “I wonder how she’s doing now. Octavia.” Even though Bellamy never refers to his sister as “Blodreina”, Jackson was so used to hearing it for all those years that he has to remind himself to refer to her as ‘Octavia’ instead.

“I wonder too,” Miller says. He sighs. “The last time I interacted with her, really, was when we fought with Wonkru for Shallow Valley. We hardly were ever in the same place on Sanctum.”

“I’ve barely seen her since I treated her back in the bunker when she was poisoned.” He and Miller look at each other, and he knows Miller is thinking the same thing he is. But he says it anyway. “Feels like a lifetime ago.”

Miller nods, and Jackson has another question. “Who would you try to go back for? Like how Bellamy is doing now for Octavia.”

“Well, you, of course,” Miller answers simply. “My dad too – if he hadn’t died. What about you?”

“You. Abby, if she wasn’t dead.” Jackson then lets out a laugh, “Except we both know I’m too scared to be submerged, so I’m not sure how successful my rescue attempts would be!” The rest of the group realizes by now that Jackson is somewhat afraid of the water. They all occasionally enjoy a frolic in the water together and it’s become a fun activity the group does when it’s hot out. Jackson will wade in up to his ankles but never go any further. No one questions or judges him for it, and even Murphy has refrained from making disparaging commentary on the situation.

“Well, Bellamy’s not exactly being successful either,” Miller grumbles sarcastically. “So don’t beat yourself up too much.”

“I’m just glad he and Clarke are together at last.”

* * *

**TBC**

**Thank you for any comments and reviews**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are skipping down to the end for triggering warnings, the warnings are: blood, miscarriage.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

**Emori**

Looking back, Emori knows there’s any number of ways this could have played out. They could have gone on for days or weeks with her ignoring Murphy until he blows up. They could’ve had a passionate romp in bed after one of her crying jags. Or maybe Madi would’ve done for them what she did for Clarke and Bellamy a few days ago and intervened.

But in the end, that’s not how it happens. Perhaps the slower pace of life here has impacted Emori more than she’s thought it has, but she decides to approach things calmly. One morning she simply closes the door to their room and stands before Murphy. He’s stretching on the bed, getting ready to get moving for the day.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been horrible. I’ll try to get over it.”

Murphy immediately stops his stretching, sits up straight, and faces her.

“You don’t gotta apologize,” he says. “What happened sucks. You got every right to be angry and sad.”

Emori takes a breath and launches her hands into the air. “We didn’t even plan for this. We weren’t even trying to get pregnant. But once it happened, I got so used to the idea of us having a baby!”

“Makes sense,” he says calmly. “You had the baby growing inside of you. Of course you were attached.”

Their room isn’t large, but Emori takes a few steps, pacing around best she can in the space. “I’ve been angry at you and lashing out. You’ve been patient.” She takes a breath. “I guess losing the baby just makes me feel like there’s another thing wrong with this goddamned body.” She grits her teeth as she speaks those last few words.

Emori knows that she has always been firm around Murphy – and anyone else the past several years – that she doesn’t view her unusual hand as a “deformity”. She’s also pretty sure that part of her deep down does view it that way, part of her always has, and that there’s never been much she can do about it since the day she was cast out as a _frikdreina_.

Murphy gets up from the bed and is at her side in an instant. “Hey. Hey. We talked about that. There’s nothing wrong with you. Clarke and Jackson both said plenty of people have miscarriages.” He puts a hand on her back.

Emori accepts his gesture and leans into him, allowing him to hug her. “How is it that I know all of this but I still feel like garbage?” she asks. “And I don’t know when I’m gonna stop feeling like garbage.” She’s glad she doesn’t have to look into his eyes when she asks, “And how long before you get sick of me acting this way?”

“What’ve you got to worry about?” he asks with a laugh. “I can’t exactly fuck off back to Sanctum or conjure up a different girlfriend here. Guess you’re just stuck with me.”

Emori makes a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob, and she pulls Murphy tighter.

***

**Clarke**

Clarke and Bellamy walk to the lake’s edge. It’s the middle of the day when Skyring is the warmest, and he’s going to make his daily attempt at getting back to Sanctum.

Clarke isn’t going to try to talk him out of it, not now – nor does she have any plans to in the future. She knows he needs to do this, knows he needs to **feel** that he’s doing his best to reunite with Octavia even though his brain surely knows it’s futile.

Long ago Bellamy did as he’d said he would: switch to making the dives naked, so he doesn’t have to deal with damp, clammy clothing. Now that he and Clarke are a couple, she no longer has to stay away from the lake and give him privacy during his dives. She smiles, thinking of how she has now seen every square inch of him - and has really, really enjoyed that.

“Wish me luck,” he says, and she would describe his smile as somewhere between bemused and resigned. So Bellamy does, Clarke thinks, understand at some level that he’s never really getting back to Sanctum, at least not this way. It’s just a matter of when he will realize that he’s done enough and doesn’t need to keep proving to the universe that he wants to make things right with Octavia, she guesses.

“Good luck,” Clarke smiles. She remembers now that once Murphy – or was it Miller? – made a quip wondering what Bellamy will do when he shows up in Sanctum stark naked. She recalls that even Bellamy found that one amusing.

Clarke places his towel over a bush and leans against a tree as she watches him go. (Again, she is forced to admit, that she truly enjoys the sight of his backside as he heads into the water). She thinks a bit about their new relationship.

It still feels strange and normal at the same time. It’s strange that they finally took the leap, yes. But it feels right. He’s the person she always had feelings for, though she had usually kept them buried so deep that most of her brain truly hadn’t been aware of them. She rather likes the fact that the cosmic force which pushed them together was none other than Madi. There was no big, dramatic moment throwing them into each other’s arms, just the wisdom of the girl who has always understood more than people give her credit for. Clarke likes the fact that the moment that brought them together was simple. Her life has been filled with more than enough dramatic peaks and valleys. A random memory pops into her head: sitting in the mess hall on the Ark with Wells as each pops their nutrition cube, Wells musing about how staid and boring life for most Arkers appears to be. What innocent children they were, Clarke thinks sadly (as she, of course, feels a residual jolt of pain thinking about Wells even after all these years). Given all the events on earth and Sanctum, Clarke has a new appreciation for boring.

And here on Skyring, they’ve gotten used to days without spikes in adrenaline, without moments where the heart pounds, without shivering in fear. Here, instead, each small moment is filled with promise and meaning and intensity. Clarke replays the kisses she and Bellamy have shared over the past week and feels that they have been just…perfect, for lack of any other term. They are exciting and satisfying but also just plain and **comforting**. They are a bit scary, though, from the perspective that she still worries that he will go the way of almost everyone else who has ever loved her. That fear has not gone away yet.

Bellamy emerges from the water, gasping for breath as usual. Clarke holds out the towel, and he dries off best he can. She then pulls him into a hug, not minding that she’s taking on some of his dampness. He still looks breathless, so she doesn’t initiate a kiss with him. She’s surprised when, a moment later, he brushes his lips with hers.

He pauses to take a breath, and then reaches to kiss her again, this time in earnest. Clarke returns the kiss wholeheartedly. She has to admit that the fact that he’s standing here naked – other than the towel – and pressed against her is making her want to do much more than kiss. She’s been aroused since she watched Bellamy undress and walk into the lake, and now that he’s here touching his tongue to hers, she finds that her body is already starting to scream for him.

“Come on,” she says, judging that Bellamy feels the same based on the reaction of his body that she feels pressing against her. She tilts her head in the direction of the most tree-laden area of the forest, and off they go.

Afterwards, they lie together on the towel. They’d had a few moments of stumbling their first few times together as any new couple does but Clarke finds his lovemaking gentle, expressive, and giving. She’s content to rest her head on his chest right now. Her body is still gradually coming down from the peaks it reached.

They are going to have to come up with a better location at some point though. The towel is now damp and smudged with dirt and grass. Clarke doesn’t mind a few twigs in her hair either….and it certainly was worth it to gain the intimacy and pleasure she just experienced. But she also would love to have sex with Bellamy on an actual bed. It doesn’t feel right to ask Madi for permission to use their room that way though. Clarke’s not sure what the solution will be.

Eventually, reluctantly, they decide to get up and return to work. There are myriad chores waiting for them. They locate Bellamy’s clothes back near the lake, and then walk to the cabin holding hands.

As they reach the cabin, Clarke eyes the two other couples, each hard at work on the garden. The group has had plenty of time to share stories here, so Clarke now knows the details behind how the other two couples got together. Emori and Murphy were pulled together like magnets from the start – the initial betrayal hardly seemed to matter given the immediate pull they both felt, almost like an urgency or inevitability. And as for the other pair, once Miller had broken up with his ex, he and Jackson became inseparable fast. Clarke knows that it’s a different story with her and Bellamy, a much slower tale involving separations and pain and other people. _But maybe this is how it was always meant to play out. There’s not one correct way for this to happen._

Much later, it’s dinnertime. Although the group agrees that Murphy’s the best cook, he pulled a muscle in his leg and is lying down. Clarke and Madi volunteer to cook. The others set out to forage, because foraging has been neglected the past few days and they are low on acorns, mushrooms, and onions.

Clarke and Madi chat for a bit about the simple things, but then Madi takes on a serious tone. “Hey,” she begins, keeping her eyes on the herbs she’s chopping. “Since we have a minute alone, can I ask something?”

“Of course,” Clarke says. She reads Madi’s expression right away and knows this will be a weighty subject. She’s glad that the girl knows she can talk to her anytime. She’s not sure if Madi wants eye contact or not, so Clarke continues stirring the stew.

“Do you know what you’ll do if it comes back? The anomaly.”

Clarke gently places the spoon down and just looks at the soup. She takes a breath. “My opinion of the anomaly hasn’t changed. I think the idea of stepping into it is risky because we have no idea what will happen. There’s just no way to be sure that it’s a doorway back to Sanctum. It could be a thousand other things.”

“I agree,” Madi says. She takes a couple steps and stands by Clarke’s side. “I was just wondering if Bellamy feels differently…and if that’s going to be a problem.”

Clarke turns and looks at Madi. She nods. “It could be,” she admits simply. “I think Bellamy and I need to sit down and really discuss it. But I know for a fact that I’m not leaving you, Madi. You and I seem to agree that it’s best to stay here so….so we’re staying here.”

Madi does as Clarke did a few seconds ago and nods. They leave it at that and get back to dinner preparations. Clarke silently mulls over the topic some more. The thrill of new love has occupied much of her brain space and emotions the past week, but Madi was right to bring this subject up.

_Bellamy might be the great love of my life. Will I have to watch him someday disappear into the anomaly? And if that happens, will I spend the rest of my life not knowing what became of him?_

* * *

**Emori**

The idea comes to Emori one afternoon. The group is sitting outside eating lunch, and Miller’s tilting his head up towards the sunlight, saying that he wished his dad could have somehow lived to see this place, gotten to retire to a peaceful place like Skyring. Emori half-listens to Jackson’s reply and it is sweet; Jackson is saying that Miller’s dad would’ve been so happy to know his son survived and made it to such a place. But Emori sees the loss in Miller’s eyes and knows it’s a feeling that they all grapple with.

Emori thinks about how she’s still struggling with her recent losses. The baby. Monty and Harper. Raven (even though – hopefully – Raven’s not dead. She’s just somewhere that they can’t get back to). These losses, they just swirl around out there, Emori thinks, for lack of any better term. She doesn’t believe in ghosts, but she does know that these losses poke and prod at her, sometimes gently, sometimes making her want to cry or lash out. Other times she feels a bit hollow.

“Part of me still thinks Raven is gonna show up any day now,” she speaks up, shaking her head. “Or that Gabriel guy, or both. I know we did the math and it can’t happen.”

Clarke takes a deep breath. “Unless the…time difference between here and there isn’t fixed. Like if it fluctuates. That’s the only way I could see it being possible.”

Emori sees Clarke exchange a look with Bellamy. Fleetingly Emori wonders if he’s any closer to accepting the fact that he’s likely not going to see his sister again. But his damp hair from his daily dive would suggest otherwise.

“I miss her,” Emori says. “Raven. And the others.” She looks down towards her plate. The group has gotten used to, during their months here, sharing stories and talking less guardedly but it’s still hard. Everyone has grown very quiet now and Emori feels their eyes on her. Murphy has always told her that people listen to her and that she’s a more impactful speaker than she thinks she us. “And um….the baby. I miss the baby.”

The group is quiet, respectfully letting Emori’s words settle in. Clarke is sitting on Emori’s other side, and she touches a hand to her arm. “I know it’s a cliché,” Clarke says quietly. “But we feel terrible for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.”

The others murmur similar words; they’ve all said them before and Emori doesn’t mind hearing them again. A week ago she found their sentiments almost irritating, but now she does not.

She has something else on her mind though. “We’ve all lost a lot of people,” Emori says. The group has been talking about their losses often lately. Whether it’s an offhand remark like Miller’s just now, wishing his dad would’ve lived to see this place, or whether it’s deeper discussions around the fireplace, the group going into detail as they speculate on all the decades that Monty and Harper lived without them, tossing out ideas of what Monty and Harper did all day, what they thought about, what they discussed. “I wonder if we should do something more formal to say goodbye to them.”

The formal grounder ceremonies and traditions were always closed to Emori, as a _frikdreina_. She spent years telling herself she didn’t need them. Then back up on the ring, Monty had spearheaded an annual memorial to those they’d lost. Emori remembers feeling numb during the first few but she also remembers that somehow, in some intangible way, they’d helped.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Madi says.

“Me too,” Miller adds. “We, uh, in the bunker we had a small ceremony to say goodbye to my dad. It was just Kane and Abby and Jaha – and me and Jackson.” He looks, to Emori, like he has a bit more to say but he’s quiet. Jackson reaches for his hand and holds it.

“We’ve never really done anything to say goodbye to Monty and Harper,” Murphy says. “I mean, it’s not like we had a whole hell of a lot of time, what with the red sun toxin and the body-snatching Primes going after us the second we landed in Sanctum. But still.”

“We have the time now,” Jackson says. And he adds, “I wish I’d had a chance to get to know them better. Monty and Harper.”

Emori expects Clarke, leader that she is, to say something like ‘So let’s start planning it’. But she doesn’t. She and Bellamy are looking at each other quietly. Emori watches them quizzically. Is this simply just a case of new love, of the fact that once you’re in a new relationship, other concerns feel less important? (Emori reminds herself of the days when she first knew she was falling for Murphy. She’d kept telling herself it was nothing. But then she’d notice that she hadn’t eaten all day and that she felt a strange kind of buzzing inside, a certain energy. She also remembers being sort of pleasantly unfocused). Or do Clarke and Bellamy just not want to do any sort of memorial?

Emori looks around the circle. She doubts either Miller or Jackson will be the one to say ‘so let’s plan something’. She’s decided during her time here that they are both lovely men but neither is a leader. (Murphy once commented to Emori that he wonders about the sex life of two men who were both ‘born to follow’. Emori had elbowed him in the ribs for that comment, just as she’d snickered a bit).

So Emori is just about to propose something when Madi speaks up. “I think we should do it. Maybe each of us can think about what we’d like the ceremony to look like, and then we can talk again in a couple days?”

The group assents, although Emori notes that Clarke and Bellamy are both still quiet. They don’t object though. Emori makes a note to talk to Clarke sometime. But not now, she decides. She will wait a bit.

* * *

**TBC**

**Author’s Note: My beta tester – and one of my favorite fanfic writers – is Penguin of Prose. With her permission, I pay tribute to one of her ideas here. It’s the bit about Monty spearheading an annual memorial during their time on the ring; she writes of that in her fic “All's Well That Ends Well".**

**Also – feedback is a gift!**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

**Clarke**

“So. The memorial is today.”

“I know. I’m fine with it.”

Clarke and Bellamy are inside the room that is now theirs. Just as Madi had intervened to get Clarke and Bellamy together, she also has decided to cede her place inside the room she used to share with Clarke. They didn’t ask her – she simply went up to them one day with the idea. (“Just take it. I’ll sleep by the fireplace,” Madi had said. “When it gets cold out, I’ll have the best place in the whole cabin.”) Both Clarke and Bellamy have asked Madi repeatedly if she wants the room back, have firmly stated that they don’t want her to feel that she’s been kicked out. Madi has gone from rolling her eyes at their comments to saying, “It’s my own fault. I put you together.”

However the room was built with bunk beds. This morning, Clarke is on the lower bunk and Bellamy is on the floor next to her, atop blankets. They just can’t find a comfortable way to both get any real sleep on one bunk bed, so this solution is working well for them right now. Sometimes during the night, Clarke reaches down and gently touches his shoulder. She can’t say why she likes making this gesture so much, but she does.

This morning, Clarke decides to press Bellamy a bit on his answer to her question. “Are you sure?” she asks gently. “I know last time we talked, you didn’t love the idea of having a memorial.”

He sits up and stretches a bit. “I don’t know if the memorials we had up on the ring helped me much. But they helped the others,” he says firmly. “So that’s reason enough to do it.”

Clarke notices how he avoids her eyes and seems to be going about his stretching with a fair amount of zeal. Although the group has discussed many past events during their months here, there is one thing they haven’t talked about, so Clarke decides to ask it here. “Up on the ring,” she begins, again delicately, “you thought I was dead, right?”

He’s quiet for several moments though he’s stopped stretching. Bellamy looks downward, and then turns to meet her eyes. “I kept replaying that conversation we had right before. The head and the heart,” he admits, taking a breath. “So yeah. My head told me that you were dead, but my heart told me you weren’t.” He pauses. “I just felt a bit numb during the ceremonies.”

Clarke waits a bit before replying, allowing his words to resonate. She then asks, “Is that how you feel right now when you wonder if you’ll see Octavia again? Your head is telling you that you won’t but….”

“But my heart says it’s possible,” he finishes for her. Bellamy takes another breath. “Maybe not likely, but possible. I’d almost given up hope of ever seeing **you** again, and then….there it was. Our ticket back down to earth. And then….”

He stops, and Clarke thinks he might be getting choked up. She waits, and Bellamy continues, “Then there was Madi, recognizing me and telling me that you’re alive. And then….”

Again, Bellamy stops and Clarke herself feels her heart clench. She remembers it as if it were yesterday. Lying on the ground, every nerve-ending in agony from the shock-collar. Barely able to see in the dark night and against the glare of the rover’s lights. “Your voice,” she says quietly. “I remember that the most. I heard your voice and instantly…instantly all the pain went away. Like this worry I carried around for six years disappeared.”

She’s by his side, having slipped from her bed onto the floor next to him. They are holding each other. She grasps him tightly and he clings to her. They are quiet now, and for a second the phrase ‘lost in memories’ jumps into Clarke’s mind, but she knows that’s not right. They aren’t lost as long as they have each other.

Clarke had wanted to ask him to talk more about how he feels about the memorial, about whether or not it will be awkward or hurtful for him especially given that he still hopes to get back to Octavia someday. But somehow right now, it feels right to just enjoy the silence and enjoy the feel of Bellamy’s embrace.

* * *

**Emori**

That same morning, the morning of the memorial, Emori wakes up feeling ambivalent. She’s thinking of something Clarke said at lunch the other day. Without the extreme highs and lows they are used to here, smaller events seem to take on more significance. Emori knows that objectively speaking, the memorial is a small thing but here on Skyring it looms large. It feels like a big deal.

Murphy shifts position in bed and makes a noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh. He often does this when he knows it’s time to get up and go about the day. And also, Emori guesses, he needs to head for the outhouse.

When they first arrived on Skyring, Murphy had announced that he was going to take his time in the mornings, sleep in when he wants to. Emori remembers then glancing at Clarke who looked as if she might object, but didn’t. In any case, after not long Murphy abandoned his desire to sleep late. The group relies on their garden a lot, and that means getting up early to perform tasks such as watering before the sun gets high overhead and starts to evaporate the water, and doing the arduous weeding before it gets too hot. There’s also, Emori sees now, a certain pleasure to be had walking through the garden in the morning – the scents from their herbs seem more pleasant and the cool breezes are enjoyable especially when you have a hot mug of tea to counter them. Foraging is a lot easier too when it’s not too hot out, and if you finish enough of your tasks early on, you can nap during the middle of the day when Skyring is at its most humid. So Murphy just naturally came around to the idea of getting up early along with everyone else.

After not too long, Emori and Murphy are gathering their towels and the tree nuts that the group uses for soap. They walk to the lake to bathe. As they get closer, they realize that Miller and Jackson are already there, so they keep a respectful distance. Out of the corner of her eye, Emori sees that Jackson is still afraid to submerge himself, still relying on sponge baths taking place while he stands on the shore, even as Miller takes full advantage of the lake, doing more swimming than bathing. Murphy has joked about tackling Jackson and forcing him into the water some day, but Emori reminds him that if he does that, Miller will give him a beating he’ll never forget. “Let’s not break our record streak of injury-free days,” she has said. “We got beat up enough on earth.”

“So,” Murphy begins this morning, as he splashes around. “Today’s the day.”

Perhaps it’s the simple joy of having fresh water to immerse yourself in, the delicious feel of weightlessness, a joy that they never had on the ring. Even before that back on earth, Emori had spent so much of her life fleeing, working, hiding, and just barely surviving that she hadn’t done a whole lot of leisurely frolicking in water back then either, despite the fact that she spent much of her time near an island or on a boat.

“Yeah. I’m glad we’re doing it,” she says straightforwardly.

“It couldn’t hurt.”

“The ones on the ring were fine,” Emori adds. “But we hadn’t lost a baby back then. I just don’t want to cry in front of everyone. That’s it.”

He’s at her side in a minute. This is more than she’s spoken about it in the past few days. Emori lets Murphy hug her, just relaxes into the embrace. He says things like ‘Hey, what’s the worst thing that could happen? We feel uncomfortable for a few minutes. We’ll live’. And Emori finds his words to be hitting just the right spots now. They talk some more until she doesn’t want to discuss it any longer. He cracks a few jokes, makes a few untoward comments, until she smiles and she has a new appreciation for this ability of his.

***

**Emori**

In the end, the memorial is nothing to be afraid of. Emori doesn’t cry, doesn’t even feel the need to, and Bellamy participates in it along with everyone else. At breakfast the group discusses a few last-minute preparations. Most agree that they don’t plan to bring up the names of those who passed on a long time ago and have already had memorials in their honor. Emori has already honored her brother Otan, for example, during one of the commemorations on the ring and doesn’t plan to bring him up again today. Madi shares that she and Clarke said farewell to Madi’s parents in Shallow Valley and she’s good with leaving that there.

They discuss someday building a monument to those they lost, some sort of marker that they can lay flowers on. But the group is far more practical than sentimental and they know that right now, they are still spending most of the daylight hours on the tasks that are keeping them alive and they don’t have time for side projects. So a physical monument or marker will have to wait.

The group heads for the forest and sits in a circle, knowing that they plan to keep it simple. Murphy reaches for Emori’s hand and holds it. The group speaks the names, starting with those who they know are dead. When each name is spoken, members of the group can say a few things about the person if they want to.

_Monty, Harper, Kane, Abby._

Emori’s had months to adjust to the fact that Monty and Harper are gone now, that they lived a full life, they grew old, they raised a son. But this one still stabs at her. She grips Murphy’s hand tightly.

Bellamy talks about Monty and Harper on the ring, how his algae farm kept them alive, how everyone enjoyed Harper’s smiling face. Miller goes back further, talking about surviving Mount Weather with them. Clarke says she’s glad that they got to live most of their lives in peace.

Emori never spent much time with Kane, but Bellamy and Miller both glow just a bit when talking about him. Both go on a bit too long, and Emori guesses that the group is really putting off talking about Abby. But they finally do get to her. Emori sees Clarke and Jackson exchange a look, and Jackson speaks first. He has tears in his eyes, and he doesn’t say much but he keeps it together. Murphy then asks Clarke if he can say a few words, and she nods.

“Abby meant a lot to me,” Murphy says. “She never saw me as an outcast. Or as a criminal. She made me feel like I mattered.”

Emori has always liked the way John speaks. Whether he’s being his usual sarcastic self or trying to go a bit deeper, his words carry weight, and they do again today. She’s impressed with him, and she has to admit that she doesn’t hang on every word of Clarke’s – who speaks next – although it’s mostly because Emori knows who is still to come, still to be bid farewell to.

Once Clarke has spoken her words, Emori feels the eyes of others upon her. One of the side-effects, she knows, of living in close quarters like this: everyone knows what is yet to be said. They are waiting politely. Emori takes a breath and looks down towards her midsection. “It’s different,” she finally says. “Different type of loss. Not a baby. I never got to hold the baby in my arms. But yeah,” she says, again exhaling and knowing her voice will crack. “I really, really wanted to hold that baby.”

Murphy squeezes her hand more tightly. The group is quiet for a while, and Emori finds it easiest to continue looking downwards at least for now.

After several moments of silence, Clarke then says, “Let’s say the names, now, of the people we’re missing. The ones who are alive but we don’t know when we’ll see them again.”

Miller and Jackson start by mentioning the names of several people who were part of Wonkru. Indra, Niylah, Gaia. Then Clarke adds Jordan’s name, and Murphy adds Echo’s. Bellamy speaks Octavia’s name, and Emori speaks Raven’s. As others reminisce about Raven, Emori closes her eyes. If she could magically bring one person to Skyring, it would be Raven. That is one loss that truly stings. As the group talks about those they are missing, Madi adds that she wishes she’d gotten to know the others better. She had such limited time with them before being brought here.

Thinking about Jordan is painful too. They were supposed to take care of him. Emori has come to accept that there are many things she will never know, but she wishes she somehow could be told how Jordan is doing. Last time she saw him, he was in a bad way. Is Raven grooming him to be an engineer, the way she did with Emori herself? She remembers Jordan saying that his dad worked with him on that; maybe Raven is helping him take it to the next level. Maybe, Emori wonders, some of the ex-Wonkru folks are making an effort to spend time with him. Miller always speaks highly of Gaia, so maybe they are bonding. Damn it, Emori thinks again. We’ll just never know, will we?

Their ceremony feels like it is winding down, and the timing is fortuitous since clouds are forming in the sky. The group knows from the humidity in the air that rain is likely.

“Got any more of that hard cider, Miller?” Murphy asks. “We’ve all earned a drink. And a toast to those who aren’t here.”

***

**Clarke**

Clarke, Bellamy, and Madi are spending the morning foraging. Their buckets are filling up nicely with mushrooms though Clarke wishes more acorns were to be found. They may be a pain to process, requiring a lot of work to get rid of their bitterness before they are edible, but they have a lot of calories and are good at filling bellies.

“I think I’m done with the dives,” Bellamy says to Clarke. She’s startled to hear these words from him, and whirls her head around in surprise. Madi is out of earshot currently. “Done with trying to get back to Sanctum that way.”

Clarke quickly takes his words in. Bellamy’s timing on the last few dives has actually decreased; he’s backtracking. Not that anyone thinks he has a shot of actually succeeding. His time could be cut by a third and he still wouldn’t make it. Did the memorial a few days ago cement things in his mind, Clarke wonders?

“Was that a hard decision for you to make?” Clarke asks, meeting his eyes.

“Been thinking about it for a while. I know it’s time to stop even though it feels like I’m giving up.”

Clarke tilts her head to the side. “You could always…take a break from them and go back to doing them if you feel that you need to.”

He smiles and reaches to hold one of her hands. “Hey. I appreciate how supportive you’re being,” he says softly. “You’ve always been supportive even though we all know there’s no way I’m getting back to Sanctum the way we came.” He glances upwards towards the sunshine, muted behind a couple clouds. “It’s so strange. I’ve been separated from Octavia for most of the time since the day she went into the Skybox. I wish I could be there for her. Talk to her.” Bellamy sighs. “Maybe reconciling with her just isn’t in the cards for me. Maybe it’s just one of those things in life that never gets resolved.”

Clarke lets his words hang in the air. She squeezes his hand as she looks at him. There’s wisdom in what he just said, she knows. She finally adds, “It might be one of those things that’s outside of our control.”

He nods and they are quiet again. “What if,” Clarke begins anew, her voice tentative now, “the anomaly shows up again?”

Bellamy meets her eyes. “I still plan to go through it. **If** it appears again.” He then asks, “You and Madi….?”

“We haven’t changed our minds. We can’t risk it.”

There’s not much else to say right now. They pull each other into a tight hug. This is not the first time they’ve discussed the anomaly and its possible return, and they remain at an impasse. Neither is going to argue with the other or try to force them to their side. Neither likes the fact that they are at a stalemate either, but that might be another thing that simply cannot be helped. The hug feels just right though.

Dimly Clarke is aware of Madi wandering back into earshot, and then – perhaps seeing the embrace – heading back the way she came. Clarke remains in the hug for a long time and then says, after a while, “I’m making something for you.”

“You are?” Bellamy asks, pulling away and looking at her face. He has a hint of a smile.

“It’s almost done. And – um, now feels like a good time to tell you about it. It’s bark. I’m making a few pieces for you that are just the right texture for writing. I was thinking you could write a letter to Octavia.” She pauses. “Or lots of letters.”

“But – but wouldn’t you rather use it for your drawings?”

She shakes her head. “I have plenty of surfaces to draw on. But I want you to have the bark.”

Bellamy smiles and pulls Clarke back into another embrace. “Thank you. I think I’d really like to do that.”

She knows she’s jumped the gun a bit by telling him about the gift before presenting it, but that’s okay. The moment feels right. Clarke is relieved that Bellamy has come to terms with one aspect of his quest to return to Octavia. Will he, Clarke wonders, ever come to terms with the rest of it and abandon his idea of going into the anomaly?

***

**TBC**

**A/N** – Earlier in this chapter, I mentioned “tree nuts that the group uses for soap”. This is an actual thing, here and now on earth! There is a tree known as the Sapindus mukorossi which produces soapberry nuts, the dried shells of which are used to clean laundry. I use it on my own laundry!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

**Emori**

The afternoon is lazy and humid, and Emori is very glad that she and Murphy have officially finished all of their chores for the day. They’re lying down on their bed, though it might be a few degrees cooler if they wanted to give up the bed and venture outside. Their window is wide open to catch the breeze, though the breeze right now is about as slow and lazy as Emori feels.

“I’m sick of mushrooms,” Murphy declares. “I know, I know. Algae. We went for six years eating nothing but algae and we’re spoiled here. But every damn meal we’ve eaten the past two weeks has had mushrooms in one form or another.”

Emori chuckles. “At least it’s not rats. Anything’s better than eating rats again.”

His stomach churns loudly at that thought, and Emori again giggles.

“Okay, fine. Can’t fight you on that one. And at least we have plenty of stuff to eat along with the five pounds of mushrooms every day.” Murphy shifts to turn on his side, facing her. “Hey…” he begins.

For a second Emori is thinking that he’s going to ask for sex, and as much as she enjoys it, she’s a bit too hot and tired for it right now. She hates to decline him though. She doesn’t think Murphy’s ever declined her advances, and she’s made many over the years. She’s never had a problem initiating things with him.

But Murphy apparently has a different idea. “Do you want to…play Bring Me Something?”

Emori laughs again. She knows she has to give Murphy full credit. Not only has he been patient and kind during the weeks since the miscarriage but he also keeps making her laugh.

“As long as you’re the Bringer. Sure.”

Bring Me Something is a game that Murphy and Emori invented on the ring. Although the others all rolled their eyes and acted like they hated it, their people on the ring often went along and played it too. It doesn’t require much equipment. Murphy and Emori have exported it to Skyring as well, though both Jackson and Clarke made some strange faces the first time they were told of it. But everyone here has played it more than once now. Bring Me Something involves the Guesser lying down and either closing their eyes or putting a blindfold on. The Bringer (or Bringers – there can be multiple) then simply brings items to the Guesser, placing them in their hands. The Guesser has to guess what the item is. The Bringer is not permitted to put anything “gross” on the Guesser’s hand.

The game enables them to pass the rest of the afternoon, though with Murphy constantly scrounging for items inside and outside of the cabin, Emori guesses he’s sweating and not doing much relaxing. She correctly identifies things like blades of grass, the most prolific weed that plagues their garden, leaves, a tomato, a teacup, a canteen, a mushroom, a comb, and Murphy’s spare pair of pants.

“Okay. I need a break,” Murphy declares, and again joins Emori back on the bed.

“Hey John,” Emori begins, opening her eyes back up. “I was thinking. Maybe we should try to have a baby. I know we weren’t trying before, but I realized now that I do want one.”

“Yeah. I’m all in,” he says simply.

“Really?” Emori asks, adjusting herself so she can see his face better. She knows she’s smiling.

“Really. Let’s do it.” He quickly amends his statement, “Not right now though.”

“No. A game of Bring Me Something really takes it out of you,” she jokes.

“And it’s too damn hot,” he adds. “Nighttime is better. Or first thing in the morning. Or after bath time. Or before garden work.” Murphy pauses and adds, his voice moving from playful to serious now, “But yeah. I’m ready to send the calendar method to hell. Let’s actually try to make a baby.”

***

**Clarke**

Clarke and Bellamy have done the impossible. They have fallen asleep, and remained asleep, together atop one of the small bunk beds inside their room. Bellamy’s old pile of blankets remains on the floor unused.

It’s been over a month since Madi insisted they take the room, and until this point, neither felt that sharing one of the small beds was ever going to be truly possible. Their bodies are deemed too large and the bed too small, and the simple fact is that neither is accustomed to sleeping with their limbs entwined with another’s. Bellamy has told Clarke that he and Echo, of course, shared a bed on the ring but it was a large one and each kept to their own side of it for slumber. Clarke has mentioned that a few times she fell asleep in a bed with Niylah, “but it was usually because I was bone-tired – and even then we didn’t sleep wrapped up together. We each kept to our sides.”

Madi’s old bed, the top bunk, is now being used as a storage space for odds and ends like clothing that needs to be washed. Bellamy’s letters to Octavia are placed inside the drawers of the room’s sole dresser. He also likes to, in his spare time, search for wildflowers to give to Clarke, and they brighten up the room from atop the dresser. As always, Clarke and Bellamy still ask Madi whether she wants the room back and she continues to decline.

Neither Clarke nor Bellamy really thought they could manage it, could actually fall asleep and remain asleep without someone’s elbow poking someone’s ribs, without feeling too warm against another person’s body heat, without one wanting to turn over thus requiring the other to wake up and readjust. But they have done it. This night, after some very enthusiastic and fulfilling lovemaking, they have fallen asleep together. Bellamy is on his back, and Clarke is mostly on her side, draped atop him.

Although Clarke’s neck twinges mildly from the suboptimal angle it’s at, she easily slips into unconsciousness with Bellamy. Her breathing matches his. Her brain spends a few moments replaying kisses and caresses and some of the words he murmured. She especially savors replaying his eagerness to please and his reassurances that they have all the time they need, that he wants her to enjoy this. She enjoys it, that is for sure.

He starts to lightly snore, and minutes later, Clarke is as passed out as Bellamy.

But she wakes some time later when she hears a strange noise.

Coming out of sleep is a strange thing, Clarke knows. You do it every day. Unless an alarm is blaring or someone is urgently tugging at your sleeve (neither of which happens on Skyring), the process of waking up often happens gradually. Sometimes you just slowly become aware that there is a disturbance, an event, unfolding around you. That’s how it is with Clarke this night. As her eyes flutter and she passes from unconsciousness to consciousness, it gradually dawns on her that something is happening. A loud whoosh is sounding outside, the wind is starting to howl, and the color green – which used to feel nourishing but right now feels horrifying – is streaming through the window.

Clarke’s breathing intensifies as she lies there for several seconds. _I need to wake up Bellamy. Tell him that it’s here and he needs to go. Rush with him towards the lake and watch him get sucked up into it, without even a chance for a decent goodbye._

Clarke waits two or three more seconds. This will be one of the hardest things she’s ever done, in a life that’s already far too full of agonizing decisions. But she knows the fact that she has already hesitated so long – though in reality it’s not more than seven or eight seconds – means she has already messed up.

“Bellamy! It’s back! Get up!”

Bellamy takes just a few seconds to wake and register what’s happening. He looks at Clarke and looks at the green light shining through their window. He looks down and seems to register that he’s wearing nothing more than his boxers. Clarke sees him hesitate. Is he deciding whether to put on more clothing before charging out towards the lake or is he hesitating because part of him doesn’t want to go? A few seconds go by. He looks at her, and she nods.

He then seems to make up his mind, springing from the bed. Bellamy pulls open the dresser drawer that contains his pants, and puts them on. He slips his shoes on quickly as well. He then looks at Clarke again.

“I’ll go with you to the lake,” she says, offering him his hand, showing him with her body language that she won’t slow him down.

Bellamy nods. Against the backdrop of the steadily dimming green light, Clarke can read his features. He’s definitely hesitating. If he’d spent even just the previous few seconds moving faster, he could have been halfway to the lake by now. And given that this is the second time the anomaly has reappeared here, Clarke already knows enough to determine that it’s dissipating. The whooshing noises are rapidly dying down and the green light is fading.

He grabs her hand and they move. She lets him set the pace, and he’s not running. Clarke would describe it as a very brisk walk. As they enter the main room of the cabin, Clarke turns her head and sees Madi in her usual spot by the fireplace. She’s sitting up already and Clarke hears her get up to follow. Clarke and Bellamy exit the cabin, continuing their trek towards the lake. The anomaly continues to die down. The couple walks past the garden, towards the trail leading to the lake, and in the intervening seconds, the anomaly has completely left. They slow down their pace, knowing what has happened. They reach the lake and, by then, the night is once again quiet and still. There is no trace of the anomaly, and the beach looks exactly as it had before.

Footsteps sound behind them, the crunch of shoes walking over leaves and stones.

“Everything okay? It was here again, wasn’t it?” Madi asks, walking up to the pair. She stands next to Clarke who, like Bellamy, is gazing at the lake.

“It was,” Bellamy answers. “We missed it.”

Clarke registers not just what Bellamy said but also how he says it. His words by themselves could have been melancholy, could have been desolate. But they are not. They are straightforward and factual, as if he were updating his commanding officer in the guard about an event that took place during a patrol.

Madi looks from Bellamy’s face to Clarke’s, and Clarke wonders if perhaps her daughter isn’t sure what to say. “We’ll be okay, Madi,” Clarke says. “Why don’t you go back to bed?”

“Okay. ‘Night.”

With that, Madi turns back the way she came. Clarke and Bellamy remain standing by the lake. They are quiet for several moments.

“Well,” Bellamy says, with a sigh, “that’s that. Unless I start sleeping on the beach every night, I don’t know how I can keep from missing it.”

Clarke knows she has something to tell him, knows she must do it. It’s easier, first, to provide some facts. “It hasn’t been that long since the last one appeared. Just under eight weeks,” she says, tilting her head.

“We can start to track whether they appear regularly,” he states. “Unless we all sleep through them,” he adds with a wry laugh. Miller and Jackson arrived in Skyring three months before the others. They said they never saw the anomaly during their time alone here, but Jackson had added, ‘We’ve both been sleeping like rocks since we got here. So we might’ve missed it.’

“That will be the hard part,” Clarke acknowledges with a nod. “We don’t know how many might have happened – or will happen – while we’re asleep. Last time it didn’t leave any trace, any evidence that it was here. And I don’t see anything different now. Of course it’s kind of hard to see. We’ll take another look in the morning.” Clarke knows her words are tumbling out a bit too rapidly.

“Hey Clarke?” Bellamy begins softly. “Are you okay? Your voice is….maybe shaking a bit.”

Clarke exhales and meets Bellamy’s eyes. It’s dark tonight; the moon is fairly dim. She’s not sure if she should be relieved that she can’t see him too well right now or whether it would be better to be able to observe and react to each of his expressions. “I messed up tonight, Bellamy. I hesitated,” she admits, keeping her words grave and heavy. “I wasted…at least seven seconds before I got you up.”

“Seven seconds!” Bellamy says with mock horror, and he’s clearly smiling. “Oh Clarke,” he adds, and again his tone leaves no guesses. He’s bemused and not the least bit angry.

“Bellamy,” Clarke begins, swallowing, “this is serious. Seven seconds could have made a difference. I-I’m sorry.”

He steps even closer to her and takes a hold of one of his hands. “Clarke. It’s okay,” he says, his voice quiet and soothing. He squeezes her hand. “ **I** hesitated the first time it came here, eight weeks ago. I probably knew deep down back then that I didn’t want to leave you and Madi. And I hesitated today too. Didn’t move anywhere near as fast as I could’ve/” He tilts his head and adds, “I was gonna say that forgiving each other is just something we do. But I really don’t even think there’s anything to forgive here. So you didn’t need to say sorry.”

“R-really?” Clarke asks. She knows her voice is about to break. From the moment she set foot on earth all those years ago, she has tried her best, she has borne responsibility so that others wouldn’t have to, she’s made decisions between impossible choices, and she has – at times – been scorned, yelled at, and sometimes even hated for it. Wasn’t tonight just another terrible decision?

“Really,” he confirms simply. “So you hesitated a few seconds. You didn’t mean any harm.” He snorts and shakes his head. “Probably did me some good in the long run. Like we’ve all said a hundred times…for all we know, that green mist won’t take me back to Sanctum. Maybe it will deposit me in some weird, alternate universe where people wear white robes and try to get you to join a cult.”

Clarke can only appreciate both his forgiveness but also his attempt at humor. “Where the hell did that come from?” she laughs. Her body needs the laughter and it feels good.

“I was actually having a strange dream about that right when you woke me,” Bellamy answers. He’s still smiling. He then reaches for her and kisses her mouth.

“Come on,” he says, tilting his head in the direction of the cabin. “Let’s go back to bed. We’ve got a long day of farm work and a long day of Murphy complaining about the heat ahead of us.”

Clarke holds his hand as they walk back to the cabin. _Is it really that easy? He accepts that I hesitated and isn’t mad? He just loves me and accepts how this night went?_

With those thoughts, Clarke settles back into bed with Bellamy. It’s easier this time, the process of curling their bodies together on a too-small bed. She loves the feel of his solidness, his strength. He always has been her rock, she knows.

“I love you,” she whispers.

“I love you too, Clarke. I’m so glad I’m here with you.”

***

**Jackson**

Jackson overhears Madi tell Clarke that she’s “glad you’re still here”. He also overhears Clarke’s response, “I was never going to leave” before deciding that he has to walk away before ‘overhearing’ turns into full-blown ‘eavesdropping’. In any case, he suspects he will get a full run-down over breakfast.

And indeed, once the group sits down to their first meal of the day, Clarke and Bellamy explain what happened last night. Jackson observes them as they speak.

“Bellamy seemed really relaxed – uh, for lack of a better word – about the whole thing,” Jackson says to Miller later that morning. They are tasked with the washing and hanging of clothing out back, behind the cabin, and so they are out of earshot of the others. “Do you think maybe he understands that it doesn’t make logical sense to run into the anomaly without knowing where it’ll take him?”

Miller snorts. “Bellamy’s always been a ‘heart over head’ kinda guy. Maybe it’s just that he’s a guy in love who doesn’t really want to be separated from the woman he’s crazy about.” Miller pauses and wrings out the garment he’s been scrubbing. “But on the other hand, doesn’t staying here make sense either way?”

Jackson grasps his meaning and nods. “There’s no reason to run into the anomaly from either the perspective of his head or his heart. Logically it makes no sense because we know nothing about it. And emotionally, for goodness’ sake, stay with the woman you love!”

“Exactly.”

They work in silence for a few more minutes. Jackson wonders whether the anomaly truly appears every eight weeks or whether it has no pattern. He and Miller just didn’t hear it at all during their three months here alone, and it’s strange to think that it may have been appearing but they slept through it each time.

“I wonder if it does go back to where we came from,” Miller says, after he has pinned a few items to the clothesline. “Is it really that easy? Just hop into the green goo and you’re beamed back to Sanctum?”

“Seems too good to be true.” Jackson smiles, “But so does this place, and yet here we are.” He takes a step closure to Miller. There’s no breeze right now but there is a bright sun which should dry the clothing quickly. “I really do wonder if we’ll spend the rest of our lives here. And will…will it be hard for Madi? She’s hardly ever been around other kids.”

“And if she lives the rest of her life here, she’ll never get to fall in love.” Miller’s tone is serious but he shrugs. “Maybe a weird thing to think about, but…having you makes me so happy that I feel bad for someone who won’t ever get the chance to have a love like this.”

Jackson touches Miller’s shoulder. “Now that we’ve been here a while and we’ve gone for so long without having to worry about getting stabbed or thrown into the fighting pits or bodysnatched…that is the kind of thing I think about. Having a partner is one of the ways I survived all that.”

Miller lowers his voice. “If Murphy and Emori ever do have kids, their kids will face the same thing. No boyfriend or girlfriend.” He tilts his head. “Unless…well, unless Clarke and Bellamy have some kids someday. But yeah….having a partner like you is a big reason why I survived that bunker.” He reaches for Jackson’s hand, which is still wet from the laundry water like his.

Miller is about to kiss Jackson when Murphy is suddenly there and saying, somewhere between a yell and a mutter, “Get a room.”

Jackson watches Miller refrain from making a snarky reply and then, when Murphy has gone on his way, Jackson whispers, “I wonder how much of that he overheard.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Miller replies. “It can’t be anything that he and Emori haven’t discussed 100 times.”

Jackson knows he doesn’t need to verbalize his next thought. They both know that Murphy and Emori are trying for a baby, and they both fervently hope her second pregnancy goes better than her first. He then sees Emori following after Murphy, holding a basket. She calls to Jackson and Miller to let them know that they are going foraging.

“Hey,” Miller says, tapping Jackson’s arm. His voice is light and hopeful. “Clarke, Bellamy, and Madi are working on the garden – and those two have gone off foraging. No one’s near the lake now. So….let’s try what we talked about.”

Jackson meets Miller’s eyes, and he swallows. He looks in the direction of the lake though it’s out of visual range. “Okay,” he says, after a few beats. “First time for everything.” He takes a breath. “Let’s do it.”

“You’re gonna have your first swimming lesson,” Miller says smiling. “And trust me, you’re gonna love it.”

It’s terrifying and it’s strange but Miller is a good teacher, and Jackson soon finds that he can be submerged in water and he can fight through the fear. When he and Miller return to the cabin, the others congratulate Jackson on this milestone and even Murphy looks sincerely happy for him as he grumbles, “Took you long enough.”

_**TBC** _

_**Author’s Note: I’ll be winding down the fic after this, so if you have any requests for the last chapter, please let me know. Thank you again to everyone who has read and commented!** _


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

**Emori**

Looking back, Emori can say for certain that it was not any easier the second time around. But she wouldn’t change anything about the journey either.

She knows that she spent most of her second pregnancy on edge, fighting against worry and snipping at Murphy over small things. Every minor pain caused untold anguish. When she finally went into labor, the physical pain – excruciating by any standards - was manageable when compared to the mental anxiety she’d been enduring the past nine months.

Emori also knows that she loves John Murphy beyond measure. For so many reasons, not the least of which is how patient he was during every one of the nine long months, and how **good** he is with their son.

They have named the baby Reyes. Although Emori once voiced disdain at the idea of naming babies after loved ones, they never came up with a better name either. “Reyes” is easy to say and it makes them smile, thinking back to a beloved friend. True, most of the group tends to actually pronounce it something more akin to “Rays”, but the name works. And if, by some miracle, they ever see Raven Reyes again, they can just imagine her bemused reaction to this tribute. “She might actually get choked up for a second before dropping a sarcastic bomb,” Murphy has said.

Of course thoughts of Raven bring only more questions to Emori’s mind – and to everyone else’s. They still don’t know what this place is or why they are here. They don’t know if they will ever leave. They still don’t know if Raven will find a way to retrieve them, though the time difference with Sanctum suggests that it’s not possible in their lifetimes – or in their children’s lifetimes either. They still don’t know what stepping back into the anomaly might do, and no one – not even Bellamy – talks about trying it. If it has appeared at all since the last time Clarke and Bellamy saw it, no one knows. They bring it up at lunch one day, someone shrugs and says ‘Maybe we just sleep through it each time it comes.’

Emori shakes these thoughts aside. Caring for a baby focuses you like nothing else, and she doesn’t have much time for speculation about things she can’t control. When she can accept the aches of missing Raven and Echo, and of knowing they’ve failed to be able to look after Monty and Harper’s son, she knows that her life here is better than it has ever been.

Emori loves watching John with the baby. He holds him and coos at him and sings to him. He’s as adept at changing Reyes’ diaper as Emori is. And when Emori has been up three times during the night to feed the baby or get him to stop crying, Murphy doubles down the next day, covering Emori’s chores for her, insisting that she rest. Emori can only laugh at the thought that she’d ever worried about how John would manage here. He has grown since his time on the ring, that much is clear. His focus is less on survival and more on being a good husband and father. True, Murphy still loves to snip at Miller and the two of them can get into it like two barking dogs. But it’s never over anything major and it’s always just shrugged off the next day.

She’s grateful for the others as well. Secretly Emori admits that Bellamy is her favorite baby sitter – unsurprisingly, he’s a natural at it, since this isn’t his first go-around at taking care of a baby. But they all handle Reyes well. Jackson has taken to scavenging scraps and sewing them into stuffed animals, though Reyes hasn’t much taken to them yet - Emori suspects he will when he’s older. Madi clearly enjoys being a big sister too, and Clarke and Miller are as patient as everyone else during the nights when Reyes’ crying keeps everyone awake.

* * *

**Clarke**

The memorial has become an annual tradition just as it was on the ring. Here on Skyring, the ceremony serves many purposes. A way to remember those who have passed away and those who are unreachable. A way to mark the passage of the years. A time to mourn their losses while celebrating what they do have. Clarke knows – as do all the others – that they have more to be thankful for than to grieve over. Whether they were born on the ground like Emori and Madi or born on the Ark like Clarke and the others, Skyring’s inhabitants weren’t destined to have easy lives. But their lives here are peaceful. Marred by losses, yes, but peaceful.

As part of each year’s memorial, Bellamy digs a hole and buries the letters to Octavia that he’s written since the last memorial. The group is always quiet as he does this, and – as he once told Clarke – Bellamy utters a silent apology to Octavia each time for his failure to find a way back to her. (“She understands,” Clarke murmured as she held Bellamy, in the privacy of their room after last year’s memorial. “If we could somehow talk to her, she’d say there’s nothing to forgive.”)

This year Clarke watches Bellamy perform that part of the ritual where he buries his letters. She spends much of her free time searching for and scraping out the best pieces of bark for him to use to write his letters – and meanwhile he typically does the same thing but in reverse with his free time. He wants Clarke to have the best pieces of bark to use for her drawings. Madi loves to joke about how they argue over the best pieces of bark, with each one wanting the other to have the finest. Clarke’s heart warms as she thinks about that. Their relationship is many things and can be described many ways, but maybe the bark is the best example of how each will wordlessly and instinctively seek the best for the other.

The group’s tradition after the annual memorial is to have dinner outside, weather permitting. Today the evening is a beautiful one. The air is cool but not cold, the sky is a riot of color as the sun begins to dip down. Clarke reminds herself never to take this place for granted and to enjoy every aspect of the clean air, fresh food, and tranquil lake. It’s a far cry from the grim Ark that she spent her first 17 years on. Each day that she works side by side in the garden with Bellamy and Madi might be considered mundane or routine but Clarke appreciates every moment of it, every moment of the peace they live in and the happiness of having her loved ones at her side.

Not that life is idyllic here either. It has its problems, Clarke knows. The group still works sunup to sundown almost every day, either on food production or expanding the cabin. The cabin now has a long-overdue indoor washroom, and Madi finally has her own bedroom even though it’s not much bigger than a closet. Next project is a bedroom for Murphy and Emori’s kids, for when they are older. Construction never gets easier, though Clarke notes that Emori is an expert engineer. Food production is the simpler task – but the work is constant. One year their soybean crop failed which caused some worry, but the acorn harvest was abundant as was their fishing. As long as they continue to work on keeping a diverse array of foodstuffs, Clarke knows they will be fine.

If Madi and Bellamy weren’t here with her, Clarke knows, she would be tormented. She feels for Bellamy, knowing that he undergoes a kind of torment every single day, being separated from his sister. “Torment” might be too strong of a word, Clarke thinks, but it’s definitely a hurt that will never completely dissipate, that is ever present.

For today’s post-memorial dinner, Jackson and Miller are on dinner duty. Miller calls out that they’re almost ready, as Madi finishes setting the picnic table. Clarke enjoys the wafting aroma of the dinner. Emori and Murphy’s younger one is sound asleep in his crib while Reyes is running around like a demon and yelling his head off. He then bounds into his father’s lap and tugs at Murphy’s beard. Clarke looks first at the baby and then at Reyes, and she permits herself a small smile.

She and Bellamy began to have “the baby discussions” a couple years ago, and she thinks she finally has some good news for him but she’s going to wait another day or two. Her period is overdue, her breasts are tender, and she’s needing the bathroom more often. The signs add up and point in a direction, but there’s no guarantee either. Lots of early pregnancies are lost, as the inhabitants of Skyring know all too well. Bellamy probably already knows that her period is overdue and he probably already has a guess as to why she’s visiting the bathroom more often too. _Tomorrow_ , Clarke decides. She will officially share the news with Bellamy tomorrow.

And then right after that, she’ll tell Madi. Madi already considers both of Emori and Murphy’s children to be her little brothers. Clarke feels a momentary stab of sadness at the way Madi falls in between the two groups – she’s significantly younger than the adults and significantly older than the kids, and Madi says it doesn’t bother her but Clarke will always worry. As long as they remain on Skyring, Madi will never get the chance to fall in love. Clarke has discussed it with her several times and each time Madi says she’s fine with it. Last time they talked about it, Madi shrugged and said, “I don’t really get those feelings. Like I’m fine not having a boyfriend or girlfriend. And I don’t get – uh, _horny_ the way the six of you do.” Madi smirks at the word ‘horny’ and Clarke has to laugh too, if only to dispel some of the awkwardness. They have discussed sex before, of course, and Madi truly never has seemed all that interested in it.

Clarke has gone over this conversation with Bellamy. She has asked him if he thinks Madi is saying all of this so Clarke will stop feeling sad over the fact that Madi will never have a partner, or if Madi truly is asexual/aromantic and perfectly happy with the situation on Skyring. “Or,” Clarke has asked Bellamy, “could she be trying to convince herself that she doesn’t want what she can’t have?” Bellamy answers that it’s hard to say, that Madi is indeed very thoughtful and in tune with Clarke’s feelings, but that he doesn’t think she’d be anything other than truthful. He adds that she’s still young and perhaps trying to work out her own feelings on the subject.

Back to the evening of the memorial now, Clarke watches Jackson and Miller bring out bowls of stew. The group soon digs in, sitting around the fire, enjoying the meal. They are mostly quiet (other than Reyes’ constant chatter) probably because the memorial has put them all in a contemplative mood. Clarke’s own mood is certainly reflective tonight given that she spent part of the day mourning those who are gone. She looks around the group, and she thinks back to the first time she met each of them and how far each has come. There’s Jackson, who Clarke first met when Abby took him on as an apprentice. He was a gangly, downcast, sincere teenager just a few years older than Clarke herself. Clarke remembers meeting Miller several times on the Ark and then seeing proof many times on the ground that she was right to trust him. She’s glad that the two men continue to find happiness together; out of the entire group they are the most content to live out their lives here, though Clarke guesses they’d be happy almost anywhere as long as they were together. Clarke then looks at Murphy, remembering her first interactions with him, almost thinking him a problem to be navigated while trying never to lose sight of the fact that he was a damaged human being like everyone else. She remembers Emori, a bit of an enigma on Becca’s island, a bit of a wildcard, but Clarke sensed right away that Emori was having a good effect on Murphy. She’s never forgotten seeing Emori brag about Murphy’s cooking skills; Clarke could sense the love between them even back then.

And then, of course, Clarke’s two great loves.

Madi, her daughter, her sanity during the six long years. She will be forever grateful that the flamekeepers never found her, that Madi happened to live in Shallow Valley, that fate or plain luck brought them together.

And Bellamy. The man who she has always, always been drawn to. Always had strong feelings for even though she spent far too long burying and ignoring them. Now the feelings have been allowed to take root and flourish. And now Clarke has the happiness that she wasn’t sure she deserved, that she didn’t think was possible. He only has to glance back at her, as he is doing now, and her heart melts a bit, her insides stir. Once again she bites down just a bit of excited anticipation at his reaction to the news she will soon share with him. If they are lucky enough for this pregnancy to continue, to be delivered of a healthy baby, it will change things between them for sure. Life is full of change. Seeing how good Bellamy is with both of Emori and Murphy’s sons has Clarke especially eager to see him with his own baby.

It’s bittersweet, Clarke thinks. From the memorial service today where she again told the universe that she misses her mother to the fact that Bellamy might never see Octavia again. And the fact that Clarke and the others still have no idea how long they will be here, why this place even exists, where it came from, and a 100 other unknowns. Will they somehow be rescued or will they truly grow old and die here, with Reyes and the other children taking care of them? The idea of never seeing Octavia, Raven, or the others again is a bitter pill for all of them to swallow. _Bittersweet_. But their lives before this had far more bitter than sweet – and here on Skyring at least it’s reversed. Now they have far more sweet than bitter, and that’s more than enough for Clarke and her people.

**THE END**

_**Author’s Note: That’s it for now! I loved writing this and would love to get your feedback on it. I don’t know how Season 7 will end for my favorites but I enjoy picturing them here. Also, I haven’t closed the book on returning to this world someday - so expect an epilogue at some point.** _


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Raven and Gabriel take in their surroundings. A quiet lake, lush foliage, a gentle breeze. There’s a pathway leading through the greenery. They exchange a look and begin to walk down the path. Looking upwards, Raven can see what can only be described as a tree house perched among the trees. Soon, a clearing opens up. Raven spots a thriving garden, three cottages, a couple picnic tables, laundry hanging on clotheslines, and two young people – teenagers perhaps, or they might be in their early twenties – working in the garden. Raven and Gabriel observe them for a few moments. One of them is humming as she works, and she has a flower in her hair. The other whirls his head and spots Raven and Gabriel first.

“We, uh, we come in peace,” Raven says, holding her hands up. She trips over the words a bit, knowing that they sound awkward. It’s just that this place has thrown her off. No, she realizes an instant later, it’s not really the place that has tripped her up. It’s just that she can now see the two teenagers’ faces well and something about them jolts her with eerie familiarity.

“Are you….Raven?” the young man asks, stepping closer to her, peering at her.

“Y-yes. And this is Gabriel.”

The two young people exchange a look, and pandemonium is suddenly breaking out. One of them is screaming, “Mom! Dad! Everyone!” while the other is rushing up to a shocked Raven and embracing her.

“I’m Breeze,” he says. “My grandparents knew you. You look just like in Grandma Clarke’s drawings. Damn, she was good.” He pauses and steps back, perhaps realizing that Raven needs a minute. “Clarke and Bellamy were my mom’s parents. And Emori and Murphy were my dad’s parents. Grandma Emori’s still alive. She’ll be so glad that you’re here! Uh, you look a bit overwhelmed. Here, come on, sit at the picnic table and we’ll go get everyone. It’s lunchtime anyway.”

Raven feels just a bit lightheaded as Breeze leads her to the table.

***

The food looks and smells delicious, but Raven can’t eat any of it. (Gabriel has no problems digging right in though). She does take several sips of the cool, refreshing water. Moments ago when she first laid eyes on Emori and Madi, Raven found herself needing to splash some of the water on her face.

Emori and Madi are old women now, with hair in shades of gray and white, plenty of wrinkles on their faces. Emori is seated next to Raven now, after having spent several moments hugging her.

 _I used to think nothing throws me at this point, but I’m definitely thrown,_ Raven silently admits. She looks around the table at the different faces once more. A vase filled with flowers sits in the center of the table. “I’m sorry,” Raven says when there’s a lull in the conversation. (In between bites of his food, Gabriel has been firing away questions to the group assembled here but Raven would be horrified to admit that she hasn’t absorbed much of it). “Can you all introduce yourselves again? I – uh just need to go over all of this again.”

“It’s a lot to take in,” Madi smiles, patting Raven’s hand. Raven can only stare at Madi’s aged hand, which is replete with liver spots among the wrinkles. Madi was a 13 year old girl but now is an old woman.

“But we’re glad to do it,” smiles the man sitting across from her. Raven can’t guess his age; he could possibly be in his forties, fifties, or maybe even a little older. “I’m Reyes. Named for you. I was the first one born here. To Murphy and,” with a nod at his mother, “Emori.”

“You have his mouth,” Raven says quietly. “And his voice.”

Reyes then points. “That’s my brother Dominick.”

“Not named for anyone,” Dominick adds, smiling. “They just liked the name.” He pops a berry into his mouth.

“Then I came along a couple years later,” adds a woman. “My name’s Tavia – named for Octavia. I’m – “

“Clarke and Bellamy’s daughter,” Raven finishes for her. “I see it now. I see it perfectly.”

Tavia nods and then gestures at her two younger sisters. “Gail came next. Named for Abby – you know, like Abigail. We call her Gail. And then Daphne.” She adds, “I take it you know how much my dad liked mythology.”

“Yes,” Raven says, finally starting to absorb it all. “And then the next generation…..?”

“Gail and I are married,” Reyes supplies. “You met our younger two on your way in. Sky and Breeze. We went with nature names for our kids. Figured we’d hop on a theme.”

“And I’m their eldest,” says a woman who appears to be in her twenties as she gives a slight wave at Raven. “Name’s Sunshine.”

Raven nods and looks around the table. Everyone looks well and healthy, even Madi and Emori despite their advanced ages. “And so this is everybody?”

“Yeah,” Reyes confirms.

Raven looks from Emori to Madi. “So….Clarke and Bellamy and Murphy…..?”

“And Miller and Jackson,” Madi adds. “It was peaceful. All of them. Natural causes – either old age or illness.”

Raven reaches for Emori’s hand and squeezes it. “I’m sorry for your loss. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Emori says quietly. “I have my kids and my grandkids. But I miss him, of course.” She pauses. “Are the others okay back on Sanctum? Octavia, Echo, Jordan?”

“Yes. Gabriel and I got here as soon as we figured out a way to control the anomaly and reduce the time difference. We thought it’d be safer if we left a few folks behind though, just to make sure.”

Breeze leans forward in his seat and asks Gabriel to tell him more about the anomaly and Sanctum. Raven again silently berates herself for taking a backseat in this discussion – but she needs to. She can’t stop looking at the faces sitting around the table. Tavia has Clarke’s eyes and her voice. Gail has Bellamy’s hair. And Sky’s features remarkably suggest a perfect blend of all four of her grandparents.

“It – it looks nice here,” Raven says, when Breeze seems to have all the answers he wants from Gabriel. “Tell me more about your lives here.”

“It is nice,” Daphne says, with a tilt of her head. “I’m the group healer. Uncle Jacks and my mom trained me.” She looks at Sunshine, “And Sunshine is my apprentice. We’re all pretty healthy though. We’re lucky.”

“Tavia’s the best gardener,” Reyes adds. “And Gail the best at sewing.” He takes a breath and continues, “It hasn’t been all rainbows and unicorns though. There’ve been things like miscarriages and chipped teeth – and our garden’s failed three times over the years.”

Raven again nearly shudders at how much like his father Reyes sounds.

Gabriel asks about how they handled it, and the group tells him about the fishing and foraging here. Daphne sounds proud as she says they could live off the food available from the forest if they had to. Raven notes that her namesake does the majority of the talking, followed perhaps by Daphne.

“Do you have a leader?” Raven asks.

“Well, Reyes thinks he runs the place,” Dominick grumbles.

“But fortunately Tavia and I keep him in check,” Daphne adds. She smiles but Raven can easily see steel in Daphne’s eyes.

“And he listens to his Mom and me,” Madi says. “He’s a good boy.”

“Come on, Aunt Madi, I’m hardly a boy anymore,” Reyes rolls his eyes.

“Will you stay a bit?” Daphne asks Raven. “They won’t miss you back on Sanctum since it sounds like less than a second is going to pass anyway. We can show you around the place and catch up.”

“I would like to study this place a bit,” Gabriel says. “What did you call it? Skyring?”

“Yes. I’ll take you on a tour,” Sunshine eagerly pops up from her seat. “Come on.” Gabriel takes a forkful of the last bite of his lunch and then rises right away to follow her.

“I, uh, definitely want a tour,” Raven says, “but I’d love to catch up with Emori more.”

“It’s grandma’s nap time though,” Sky says looking at Emori, and she’s not joking - and Raven can only attempt to digest that as well.

“It’s okay,” Emori says. She slowly rises. “Raven, come with me to our cottage. I do need to lay down but we can talk.”

Raven instinctively takes Emori’s arm and they enter the largest of the three cottages.

***

“Madi and I share this one with the grandkids,” Emori says. “They do a nice job looking after us.” She points towards a smaller structure visible through the window and says, “Reyes and Gail live in that cottage, and Dominick, Tavia, and Daphne sleep in the other one.”

Emori slowly lowers herself onto her bed, and Raven pulls up a chair by her side. The cottage is cozy and clean – charming, even. “Are, uh, are any of the others a couple? Aside from Reyes and Gail?”

“No,” Emori says. “Dominick hooks up with Tavia and Daphne sometimes, but none of them are interested in marriage or having kids.”

“Nothing wrong with an occasional hookup,” Raven says. She takes a second to recall the fact that once, years ago, she hooked up with Tavia and Daphne’s father Bellamy. Once again she feels the room spin a bit, and she does her best to adjust. Emori’s voice is that of an old woman and Emori needs a nap. Raven has to blink a couple times but she has to accept this new reality.

“They’re content to be aunts and uncle to the little ones,” Emori adds.

Raven realizes that Emori is using the term “little ones” to refer to people who have to be right around Raven’s own age. Emori has lived an entire life here. Just like Monty and Harper did on the Eligius. _Without me._

“We all have had really nice lives here,” Emori says. She lies on her side, looking at Raven. “We missed you of course. That’s why we named our boy after you. But we’ve been very lucky to have lived our lives here.”

“I’m honored. At the name. And-and I’m glad that you’ve been so content here.”

Emori continues, “I have. All the deaths were hard, of course. Each time someone lost their spouse, it was really hard. Clarke didn’t live a year after Bellamy died from the cancer. They both were old but…you know….that doesn’t make it any easier. When Bellamy died, Clarke lost her heart so we all knew she’d follow him soon.” Emori is silent for a few seconds and then continues, “Same with Jackson and Miller. Miller had some illness – we never really knew what it was. Just like with Bellamy, when it got really bad, when it was clearly the end, we honored their requests and gave them herbs to help them on their journeys. When Miller finally passed, Jackson just stayed in and slept most of the day. Didn’t want to eat, and died a few months later.”

Raven takes in her words and looks at her. Emori looks tired and her eyes are half-closed but she’s clearly not going to miss this chance to talk to Raven. “I miss my cockroach,” Emori adds, with a gentle laugh. “But we had a good life together and he was happy here. A great father. His first 24 years were so hard. So hard. He deserved this peace. He died in his sleep one night. Four years ago.” She’s quiet before adding, “The kids and grandkids keep me going, so I’m not eager to join Murphy anytime soon. Not just yet.”

Emori asks Raven to tell her what she’s missed on Sanctum, but so little time has gone by that she’s missed almost nothing. Raven tells her a bit about what she and Gabriel did to stabilize the anomaly and minimize the time difference, though she thinks she’s repeating what Gabriel might have said over lunch.

Breeze and Sky eventually enter the cottage. “Hey Raven,” Breeze says. “Can we talk more?”

Raven nods, they pull up chairs, and join her.

“We heard every story,” Breeze begins. “About life on earth – and on the Ark and the ring and on Sanctum. Every bit of it.”

“It sounds horrible,” Sky says, looking at her brother instead of at Raven. “Grandpa Murphy getting tortured, getting his fingernails pulled off. Grandma Emori getting beaten up by the people she came from, all because of the way her hand looks. Uncle Nate and Uncle Jacks having to eat human flesh. We could go on and on.”

“All of that was true,” Raven says. “You’re right – we could go on for days listing all the bad things that happened.” She almost smirks at the memory of their “Grandpa Murphy” shooting her in the dropship. Water under the bridge, she thinks. She misses him – even though as far as she’s concerned, she just saw him a day ago. She again shudders at the fact that she never got to say goodbye.

“Yeah, but it’s also fascinating. Life outside of here,” Breeze says, leaning forward, and Raven realizes she’s in the middle of a sibling debate. “So many people to meet. Different experiences to have, things to learn. Things to do other than working on food, clothes, or shelter. Getting to listen to real music, and not just mom singing all the time. And – you know, things like falling in love and having sex.” He adds, “Not necessarily in that order.”

“Sex is overrated,” Daphne says as she enters the cabin. She calls over her shoulder, “No offense, Dominick,” as Dominick enters after her.

“But love isn’t,” Breeze says firmly. “Romantic love, I mean. Just ask Grandma. Or Mom and Dad.”

“Madi’s always been fine without it,” Sky shrugs.

Raven glances at Emori. As far as she can tell, Emori has fallen asleep despite the number of people now clustering around them, talking.

“I want to go back with you,” Breeze says firmly, looking at Raven.

As she has been a thousand times today, Raven is somewhat at a loss for words. She simply nods at Breeze’s declaration, suspecting that someone else will respond. Reyes and Gail have now entered the cabin as well.

“I want to see the world,” he continues. “I like it here, but someday I want to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. And kids. And to just **do** something else.”

“I can’t bless that, son,” Reyes says, walking up to Breeze. He crosses his arms over his chest. “You know what you’d be walking into. A hellhole. Death. Misery.”

“Listen to Dad,” Sky insists. “I mean I’d like to somehow have a partner and kids of my own someday. But is it enough to risk living somewhere where they bodysnatch you? Or put a shock collar on you? Stay the hell here.”

“He can go if he wants,” Emori says. Raven startles – apparently Emori was not asleep. Her eyes are closed though. “Breeze, just be aware that Raven and the others can’t protect you from everything. You could get hurt. You could regret it.” Emori’s voice is soft and faint, but it carries; the others clearly listen to her.

“I won’t.”

“Guys, come on,” Reyes says, his voice insistent now. “Grandma needs her nap. Everybody out. Raven, let me show you around.”

***

Having had some time to process things, Raven finds the rest of the day going better and making more sense. The others lead her on the tour of Skyring. They continue to pepper her with questions, with Breeze asking the most, followed by Reyes and Daphne.

Gabriel and Sunshine approach their group. “I’d like to stay the night here, Raven,” Gabriel says. “I’m still gathering data. And we have the time; when we return to Sanctum, we’ll have been gone less than a second.”

Raven nods. She’s definitely not ready to leave Emori yet so it’s easy to agree to stay the night. For the hundredth time today, Raven has to silently berate herself for feeling overwhelmed with what she’s seeing and finding it hard to make decisions.

Raven spends the afternoon gathering some data of her own. She spends dinner with the group mostly listening to Reyes and Daphne recount the stories they’ve been told about the days back on earth and the ring, and she adds - where she can - a few details that had been forgotten or needed correcting. She sleeps that night in Breeze’s bed, Breeze eagerly volunteering to take the floor instead. She sleeps soundly and deeply, easily the best sleep she’s had since cryo. She spends the early morning taking a walk with Madi and Emori. “Should I be helping the others with their chores?” Raven asks as they stroll through the forested area. Gail is foraging mushrooms nearby, singing a song to herself as she works. “You’re our guest; don’t even think of it,” Madi answers.

The group sits down to breakfast. “We should talk plans,” Gabriel says, clasping his hands together. “I’ve collected a lot of data. Since the anomaly is stable, I think we should go back and get Octavia and the others. Ask if they want to come here for a visit. With your permission of course,” he says, looking in the direction of Reyes and Emori. Reyes nods.

“It’ll be hard for Octavia,” Raven says, staring at her tea. “She will be pretty crushed when she hears that her brother is gone.” The others have told her how Bellamy wrote letters to her up until the end, until he was too weak to hold a piece of charcoal. Most of the letters were buried at their annual memorial, though a few remain inside a drawer.

“She’ll want to meet her nieces and nephews though,” Madi says.

“I’m coming with you,” Breeze states firmly. “It doesn’t have to be permanent, not if we have a stable doorway now.”

Several glances around the table are made, and Raven suspects that discussions on this issue went well on well into the night.

Reyes looks at Breeze, “You’re old enough to make your own decisions.” He pauses. “Even a bad one like this.”

“Just keep in mind that the time difference is still in play,” Gabriel says. “As you know, Raven and I found a way to shorten it - but a few days in Sanctum will be a few years on Skyring.”

“Better than centuries. Or a millennium,” Breeze says.

“Remember what we talked about,” Reyes says, eyeing Gabriel and pointing a finger. “No one other than family is to come here. We don’t want wars and battles and violence here.”

“Agreed,” Gabriel states. “We bring no one other than Octavia, Jordan, and Echo here. Indra, Gaia, and Niylah too if they want. And we guard that portal carefully.”

Raven looks at Emori. She remembers Emori saying yesterday that she’d especially love to see Jordan and Echo again. She wonders if Echo decides to pay a visit, how awkward it might be for Echo, meeting the grandchildren of the man she only recently broke up with. As Raven is ruminating on all of this, she sees Reyes lean over and murmur to Breeze, “And remember that if your Grandma and Aunt Madi pass away in the next few years, you might miss your chance to say goodbye to them.”

After breakfast, Raven and Emori find a quiet place to bid farewell to each other. Raven silently replays the words Reyes whispered to his son.

“I have to go with Gabriel,” Raven says. “I know Octavia a lot better than he does, so I should to be the one to deliver the news about Bellamy.” She shakes her head. “I think I’d rather die a hundred deaths than have to do that.”

“I’m glad you’re going,” Emori says, grasping Raven’s hand. “Breeze will be lucky to have you as a guide.”

Raven shakes her head and lets out a bewildered groan. “So here I am. Getting ready to take the grandson of you and Murphy and Clarke and Bellamy to Sanctum. Partially so he can meet Monty and Harper’s son. Meanwhile, as far as I’m concerned, it’s been only **six and a half years** since I was at the dropship camp with Murphy and Monty the others!” She raises her hands in a frustrated gesture of stupefaction. “Six and a half years.” she repeats, and then adds, “I don’t count the time we were in cryo.”

“Life is a strange thing,” Emori acknowledges with a nod and with a look that Raven can only term wisdom. “But life is good. And…when you come back with Octavia and the others, you’re welcome to stay here if you want. Stay for the rest of your life.”

Raven looks down. “Maybe I will. I don’t know. Sanctum needs people with brains right now. But it sure is nice here.”

“Well, think about it,” Emori says softly.

“I will.” Raven pulls Emori into a hug. She’s not one to get emotional but her words from a few moments ago – _it has only been six and a half years since the dropship camp!_ – cycle through her mind. _Well, I guess I should listen to what Emori said. Life is strange. But it’s good. Maybe I **will** settle here…._

***

**THE END**

**Thank you again for reading and commenting.**


	11. Addendum One - Miller and Jackson

_**Have I mentioned that I love reader requests? A reader asked for more about Miller teaching Jackson to swim, so I couldn’t resist writing about that, and more Mackson in general. Jackson’s aversion to the water was a subplot in this fic, so I’ll bring it to the forefront here.** _

***

**Jackson**

_How can something that looks so wonderful feel so terrifying? And how much worse is the fact that I’m the only one afraid of it?_

Jackson ruminates on this as he sits on the shores of the lake, his back resting against a tree stump. It’s a hot, languid afternoon. His hands are busy with a needle and thread, mending clothing. He’s watching the other six inhabitants of Skyring as they cool off, frolicking in the lake.

They swim in their undergarments, of course, as swimsuits are unavailable. A basket filled with clean towels is perched next to Jackson, so the others can towel off whenever they’re ready to emerge. Jackson takes periodic sips from his canteen of cool water.

He continues to watch the others swim. They’re having fun, for sure. In the past they’ve played games, some involving racing, others involving dunking others. (Miller and Murphy seem to both take special relish in dunking each other). Today the group looks content to mostly frolic. Some are floating on their backs, others are doggy-paddling around shallower waters. Bellamy is clearly the most adept in the water, which makes sense given his daily attempts to return to Sanctum.

Jackson shakes his head. How are they not afraid? Of not being able to breathe, of drowning. Of water filling the lungs, the eyes, ears, and nose. Of sinking and not being able to rise. He watches Madi periodically dip down underwater and reemerge later, in another part of the lake. Jackson holds his breath each time she dips under, fearing she will never re-emerge. Sometimes he can only close his eyes. He feels a small ache, wishing he could join them in experiencing swimming as fun.

And Miller. How does he do it? He was raised on the Ark, just like Jackson, where you were lucky to get a shower instead of a sponge bath. He lived, with Jackson, for six years in the bunker where your daily sponge bath was a small luxury in and of itself. Those months Miller spent on the ground though. He’d joined others going swimming a few times when they had a rare spot of free time, and he’d apparently never agonized over it. Jackson has asked him about it, and he says his first time all he did was wade in and hope for the best and then figure out how to stay afloat. Miller says it like it was nothing, a fact which Jackson still marvels at.

_It was terrifying, the day Jackson and Miller first arrived on Skyring, and it’s hard for him to think back to it but he does so today. He remembers it all viscerally. Falling through the green mist on Sanctum and ending up submerged under water. For a few seconds, Jackson thought he was going to die, that after everything he’s survived since the Ark went down this was finally his time. But Miller was there, grabbing his arm with steel, somehow strong enough to maneuver them both to the surface, getting their heads above the water. Jackson clung to Miller as he gasped, gulping in air. Miller again somehow filled his own lungs with enough oxygen while he kept his legs moving, treading water and supporting both of them. Miller then arranged Jackson in such a way that the doctor was grasping his back as Miller swam for the shore. Once they reached the ground, Jackson knelt, trembling and coughing, as Miller placed his arms around him, just repeating, ‘We’re okay. We made it. We’re okay.’ Looking back, Jackson doesn’t remember how long they stayed like that but he will never forget Miller’s strength and love as he just stayed there on the shore with him, hugging him and reassuring him. It is strange, Jackson thinks now, how horrible their arrival on Skyring was, contrasted with how much he loves it here now._

“The longer you wait to try it, the worse it’s going to be.” Madi said to him once. She didn’t mean any harm with those words, Jackson knows. But he has to wonder if his time to ever try this has truly just come and gone. _I’m at least 32 now. Too late to get over this and learn?_

***

**Miller**

It doesn’t change how he feels about Jackson, not in the least. Although Miller knows that some folks might call Jackson a coward for not going into the water, Miller would be tempted to punch anyone who ever suggested it. Mostly he’d ignore them though. During his time in the bunker, he learned – like everyone else – how to hold his tongue and calm his anger, how to avoid the fighting pit and survive. How to accept people’s foibles, not that he considers fear of water to really be one.

Back in the bunker, the two of them had talked about things like bravery and attraction. Jackson had confessed that he’d once worried that he wasn’t Miller’s type, given that a lot of the men close to Miller (his dad, Bellamy, his ex) were warriors. Miller had chuckled and said, “Well, I wouldn’t exactly want to date my dad or Bellamy – and remember, Bryan and I actually broke up. So it’s not like I got a thing for warriors.” He’d shrugged. “You’re one of the only…gentle people in this godforsaken place, and that’s one of the things I love about you.” That had closed the book on that subject. So here on Skyring, Miller doesn’t look down on Jackson’s fear of the water. It simply is what it is. Hell, maybe he’s right to be afraid. Back on earth, Miller has seen people hurt themselves in the water – diving and hitting rocks, or nearly drowning in a river’s swift current. And of course he has heard plenty about Octavia and Jasper’s epic struggle with a water snake. Or was it a water dragon? He’s not sure; the story was probably inflated during its many retellings.

“I’ll teach you someday if you want,” Miller has offered. Jackson has thanked him. And then a couple years slipped through their fingers like water.

Miller has never pressured him to learn. He does once try to entice him though. “You know what the other couples do sometimes?” he whispers into Jackson’s ear one night. “On a hot night like this, sometimes they go down the lake and….you know. In the water.”

The two men are in their usual spooning position atop their bed. Miller feels Jackson shudder a bit. “What?” Miller asks gently. He then realizes where he has erred. “Oh. Thinking of their bodily fluids in our lake water doesn’t exactly make you want to go for a swim.”

Jackson chuckles at Miller’s remark and tells him, “Exactly.”

Miller chuckles too though he also silently kicks himself for not anticipating that, of course, Dr. Jackson would think of “bodily fluids”. Miller would really, really love to have sex in the lake and thinks it would be beyond splendid, it would be relaxing and erotic and awe-inspiring all at once. He’s kind of jealous that the other couples have done it. But as with all things involving sex, you need a willing partner and that’s that.

“Besides,” Jackson continues playfully, “what’s wrong with our bed? We could….’exchange bodily fluids’ right now.”

“You’re so romantic, Jacks,” Miller mutters, but he’s never been one to turn down Jackson’s advances, he’s planting kisses on the back of his neck and forgetting any talk of swimming for the time being.

***

**Jackson**

Jackson can’t say exactly when or why he makes the decision. He thinks, when it comes down to it, that it might be sheer boredom that makes the call for him. He’s lived on Skyring for a couple years now and expects that he will spend the rest of his life here. He loves it here – it is without a doubt the best place he has ever lived; none of the others come anywhere near– but new and exciting experiences do not exactly abound here either. Jackson has never really sought out thrills just for the sake of it, but here on Skyring he’s had some exciting moments. Having sex with Miller outside under the stars, drinking hard apple cider and playing crazy games with the others, sitting around the fire at night listening to the others tell stories – some of which were really, really good, some of which have made him shiver.

But most days are pleasantly mundane. Jackson calculates that if he lives to be 70 or 80 or longer – which seems fully possible on Skyring given their lack of war and violence –he might regret never trying to swim. A new challenge might charge up his brain in a pleasant way.

He mentions it to Miller one day when they’re working in the garden together, out of earshot of the others. “I think I’ll be ready to try it soon. Swimming,” Jackson says, thinking his voice might sound casual but that Miller probably knows better.

“Okay, cool,” Miller says, keeping his eyes on the seeds he’s planting in the soil. “Just tell me when you want to do it.”

***

**Miller**

A little role-reversal can be fun. Jackson’s usually the one who does most of the nurturing-type stuff. Miller taps into all of that, best he can, today. It’s not that much of a stretch though – Miller does enjoy the strong hero role; he knows he can do that role well. He just reminds himself he also has to be the patient and caring mentor today too.

“Just keep holding onto me,” Miller is saying. “And don’t worry – everyone is lighter in the water so I can hold you easy.” He adds, “Uh, what did they say in science class? We’re lighter in the water because we displace the water and it pushes us up?”

“Pretty much like that,” Jackson confirms.

They are in waist-high water and Jackson is clinging to Miller for dear life. Everything from Jackson’s grip on Miller to the look of fear in his eyes makes it obvious that Jackson is fighting off panic with every second. Miller is prepared though. He knows that he can’t teach Jackson to swim the same way he learned (“jump in and doggy paddle” is not going to work here), so Miller has done his homework. He’s asked Emori and Madi if they have any information on how grounders trained their people to swim, and both have several useful steps. Miller is using each and every one of them right now. Supporting Jackson’s weight, he has coaxed Jackson into a straight, horizontal position as he teaches him how to move his arms and legs. But he also keeps Bellamy’s words in mind – today is more about Jackson’s emotional state than about learning technique.

“Okay,” Miller says gently. “That’s good. How are you doing? Did you want to do more practice now, or do you want to come back and do more tomorrow?”

“A little bit more now,” Jackson says, and Miller can’t help but to be proud. “You know, it really is pretty out here,” he adds, for the first time looking up and taking in the view from the water.

Later, they are back at the cabin with the others. Bellamy says they should toast Jackson but unfortunately the fermentation process needs a couple months before more hard cider will be ready. They toast him with tea instead. Miller is partially ready to fight Murphy if his teasing gets out of hand, but Murphy keeps it to one snarky comment (“took you long enough”), and Miller lets it go.

“I was thinking back to our first day here. You were brave then and you’re brave now,” Miller murmurs that night, in bed with Jackson.

“I don’t know how brave I was,” Jackson says with a bemused laugh.

***

_Although it has been a few years, Miller remembers their first day on Skyring like it was yesterday. It started out scary and bewildering but ended with such cozy contentment. Jackson’s swimming lesson today has prompted him to replay their first day now._

_Once they had reached the shore and Jackson had stopped trembling, Miller lifted his head and looked around. “Where the **hell** are we?” he asked._

_Jackson coughed again and then said, “One minute this green mist was on us and then we were suddenly…underwater.”_

_“This doesn’t look or feel like Sanctum,” Miller said, his eyes darting around. He looked upwards. “The sky looks different. Hell, even the air smells different.” He took a breath. “Come on. We need to scope this place out. There could be danger.”_

_“Right,” Jackson said, getting to his feet._

_Miller looked around the shore for anything to use as a weapon – but there truly was nothing. A few fallen tree branches or sticks sat on the ground, but each was either far too big to lift or too small to be of any use in a fight. “Okay,” Miller breathed, turning to look at Jackson. “Do you want to stay here, maybe hide in those bushes? Or stay with me?”_

_“I’m not leaving you,” Jackson replied firmly. He forced a laugh though it was laced with panic. “I’m not totally useless in a fight. I punched out one of the men who went after Abby.”_

_Miller had taught Jackson self-defense in the bunker. He was glad to hear that Jackson put it to use, but he also saw a flash of hurt at thoughts of Abby cross Jackson’s face._

_“I know. Okay, we stick together then. Let’s move. Just stay behind me, okay?”_

_The rest of the day was spent surveying their new surroundings. The cabin was the biggest surprise. After quietly observing it for a while and seeing no sign of footprints anywhere, they decided to just go in. The door was unlocked. Checking out the basement was nerve-wracking, and Miller breathed a sigh of relief upon finding no one down there. He did find, however, an abundance of supplies of almost every imaginable kind._

_“Well someone obviously lived here. Or lives here,” Jackson said when they were both back up inside the cabin’s main room. “Look at all this food.”_

_“It’s all dried or canned though. There’s dust everywhere,” Miller said, swiping his fingers over the stove. He walked up to the bed and sniffed it. “Smells…okay. Like, not dirty. Not used anytime recently,” he added, lightly touching the bedding with a hand._

_“I’m no farmer but that garden outside looks pretty good. It doesn’t look like it was abandoned for too long,” Jackson said._

_Miller nodded and said, “Come on. We need to check out the rest of this place. Who knows how big it is?”_

_Miller and Jackson soon learned that aside from the lake, cabin, and garden, there wasn’t much to Skyring other than the forest. When they first entered it, they were worried it would be huge. But they soon realized that the entire forest could be covered, end to end, in less than two hours. Once again there were no footprints or other evidence of any other life – at least not of the mammalian variety. They debated next steps along with the ethics and risk factor of helping themselves to the food inside the cabin and garden, finally deciding that they would hope that if the owners showed up somehow, they would be reasonable and forgiving. Maybe they could work out an exchange, their labor for food._

_Later they sat down to dinner, which consisted of potatoes accompanied by tomatoes and corn. Dried apples provided a sweet dessert. The two men ate slowly, appreciatively, and the sun began to set._

_“At least it’s nice here,” Miller said. “Even though we have no idea how we got here or where we are, or why there’s a nice cabin with a garden.”_

_Although the day had been long, their clothes were still damp from their arrival that morning. They started up the fireplace and hung their clothing near it to dry. They found towels outside the outhouse, and just like the bedding, the towels seemed relatively clean._

_“It’s really nice,” Jackson agreed. “But a mystery. A few times today I almost had to pinch myself.”_

_“We’ve seen some weird stuff in our lifetimes.”_

_They talked more about their circumstances. They wondered if the only way back to Sanctum was the way they came and, if so, they acknowledged that they were stuck. “There’s no way I could hold my breath long enough or get deep enough,” Miller said._

_“Then that goes double for me,” Jackson added with a laugh. “I could never go back in there.”_

_After dinner they washed the dishes and checked the fireplace – the fire was steady, looking like it would keep them warm all night. “Just to be safe,” Miller began, “let’s drag the table in front of the door. I don’t think anyone else is out there – we were pretty thorough today. But if they are, at least we’ll get a warning before they enter.”_

_Jackson nodded quietly and helped him move the table._

_When they climbed into bed and got under the covers, Miller felt content, not worried. The stress and work of the day slowly melted away under he fireplace’s warm glow. The cabin was cozy, the bed soft. They kept a window slightly open just to enjoy the fresh outdoor air, something they’d been deprived of for most of their lives. And he was here with the man he loved curled up beside him. A feeling of tired contentment flowed through his veins._

_“You did so well today,” Jackson said, turning to face Miller. He placed a hand on his chest and stroked it. “You saved me from the water. You knew just what to do to, how to scope out the place. You’re smart and brave.”_

_Miller had to admit that he liked the praise. Considering the amount of time he spent in the bunker losing combat drills to Indra or Blodreina herself, the amount of time he’d wished he was as strong or as fast as many of the other Wonkru warriors, it was nice today to receive some compliments. Especially from Jackson._

_“Thank you,” Miller said, completely enjoying the movement of Jackson’s hands which were now roaming rather freely. “You-you didn’t do too bad yourself today,” he said, his voice a bit more high-pitched than usual._

_“Did you see the oil in the cupboard? There were acorns…I think that’s what they’re called…in the forest. Cooper and her team used to sometimes press the soybeans to make oil. Maybe someone did that with the acorns here.”_

_“Maybe. It’s high in calories. Good food source.”_

_“Oil has other uses,” Jackson said, now planting kisses along the side of Miller’s face. The last one landed on his lips, just as his hands began to explore further down._

_Miller knew that from one perspective, he should have resisted. They didn’t know how long they would be here, and neither one of them was a farmer or fisher. Squandering something high in calories could actually cost them their lives down the road. But only a small part of Miller’s mind had those concerns, and so he tossed them out the window just as Jackson had apparently done. Soon the oil was enthusiastically being put to one of those other uses._

_***_

_After that, their days fell into a rhythm. Miller and Jackson simply had to put aside their bewilderment at their circumstances and instead focus on coaxing enough food from their new home. They started with the garden. Neither had much liked Kara Cooper but during the bunker years, Cooper usually sat with them during meals at Blodreina’s table. Conversational topics in the bunker could be awkward but farming was usually neutral, so they had learned a few things about gardening. That – plus their earth skills classes on the Ark - were enough to keep the garden going, though some crops fared better than others._

_They soon expanded to fishing when they saw that the basement contained nets and fishing rods. Miller had given fishing a try a few times on earth, and of course it had been covered in earth skills too. They occasionally caught something, though both found the process of cleaning and gutting the fish to be distasteful at best._

_Foraging was harder and for whatever reason, Pike hadn’t spent much time on it during earth skills. They both knew that mushrooms could be poisonous so they were extremely cautious with anything they found in the forest, agreeing that they would always start with one of them taking just one, small bite of something. Neither ever got sick. As with gardening and fishing, there was quite a bit of trial and error involved but they soon were foraging mushrooms, berries and other fruits, acorns, onions, and an edible green whose name they had no idea of. Acorns were the most filling though it took while to process them and rid them of a bitter taste. They only rarely had to dip into the supplies of dried and canned foods inside the cabin._

_When Miller and Jackson weren’t spending most of the day on food production, they got to relish just being a couple, living somewhere peaceful, and still being in love. Some days they just worked quietly, side by side, in the garden together, barely talking. Other days they hardly stopped talking to each other as they fished together or sat by the fireplace in the evenings. They talked about everything from wondering what was happening to their people on Sanctum to trying to understand all the dizzying events that had taken place since the bunker was opened. They debated how much time had passed since then, minus the cryo. Jackson was certain it was at least four weeks whereas Miller believed it to be less than three. They gave each other scalp massages and thought of other ways to show each other that they cared. They both liked when the other would pick wildflowers and present them. They dried out the flowers and hung them for display. They tried some new things in bed, though neither really took to the change-up and were glad to return to what they both liked best._

_“I love it here,” Jackson said one night after dinner, sitting next to Miller and looking at the fireplace._

_“Me too,” Miller said, wrapping his arms around him. “This is what I always wanted. I still wonder sometimes if we’re dreaming.”_

_“I would be happy to stay here forever.”_

_When Clarke and the others showed up three months later, Miller and Jackson knew it was a good thing overall. True, the others inadvertently brought painful memories with them. Looking at Clarke made Jackson think of Abby – and although it wasn’t fair, he wanted to partially blame Murphy for Abby’s death. Looking at Bellamy made Miller remember the way he failed to defend him to Blodreina. Looking at Emori and Murphy made them remember what they did to them on Becca’s island. And all five of them knew what Miller and Jackson had eaten in the bunker to stay alive. On top of that, Miller and Jackson had been enjoying the quiet serenity of just having this place to themselves._

_But they easily saw the other side too and knew that, on balance, having the others here was a good thing. After all, Clarke and Bellamy were heroes who saved Miller from Mount Weather, who saved both of them from the mountains of debris atop the accursed bunker. Madi saved them in the gorge. Miller and Jackson knew they owed all three of them. Also, Clarke and all the others were survivors who had each made their own mistakes too, and they didn’t appear to hold any negativity towards Miller and Jackson. (Other than Murphy griping at everyone and every thing except Emori). And Miller and Jackson knew that having other people around – especially others as smart and keen as Clarke and crew – was overall a good thing. So they soon settled into their new rhythm with the rest of the group, happily…perhaps suspecting that they would spend the rest of their lives here._

_**THE END** _

_**Like I mentioned, this whole addendum was the result of a reader request, so just let me know if you have a request too. Would you prefer a flashback to pregnantBellarke or a post-epilogue fic taking place once Raven brings Octavia to Skyring? Any Memori requests?** _


	12. Addendum Two - Bellamy

_**I got a craving to write about life on Skyring from Bellamy's perspective, just as his life is about the change forever.** _

**Addendum Two – Bellamy**

Fatherhood. Being responsible for a tiny human’s life.

No, this is not the first time Bellamy will have this responsibility. In fact, that’s the problem. Clarke tells him every day that he did his best with Octavia, that he was a child when he was thrust into the role of caring for and hiding an infant, that he loved her and worried about her and tried so hard.

 _And failed,_ Bellamy tells himself.

 _No,_ he can hear Clarke replying – because they’ve discussed this endlessly. _You didn’t fail. You didn’t ask to be set down on earth in the middle of a battlefield or be separated from her for six years. If it wasn’t for what you did before Praimfaya, Octavia wouldn’t even have survived to become Blodreina._

Bellamy shakes his head. He’s weeding the garden this morning, a chore that is truly never done. The breeze is chilly and he’s glad for his new jacket, sewn painstakingly over months using materials from the plants they grow for fibers. For the past few years, he’s been starting to feel slight reminders that he is no longer 23. The endless construction work they undertake on Skyring plus the manual labor involved in all their food production often leaves his back sore, or his arms or legs aching. He’s not a complainer, and especially not now. Clarke is the one who can’t sleep through the night, who has to deal with being kicked, with fatigue, headaches, and with the constant bathroom runs. The indoor bathroom was, hands down, the best thing they ever constructed on Skyring.

Bellamy smiles. _Well, maybe second best thing._ The separate bedrooms certainly made the act of conception much easier. Though sound-proofing is still an issue. Especially for Clarke and Bellamy given that they are, by far, the youngest couple on Skyring in terms of amount of time they’ve been together. More than once the next morning, Murphy has smirked and elbowed Bellamy after he and Clarke had a particularly enjoyable night. Not lately, of course, not with Clarke due any day now.

The group talks of just building more cabins someday. It’s on their never-ending “to do” list. Maybe when Emori and Murphy’s boys are just a bit older, when Dominick is a bit more independent. But of course by then, Clarke and Bellamy will have their own hands full. Literally.

None of that worries Bellamy, though. He can handle living in close quarters with the others and long workdays, he can handle washing out dirty diapers and calming a toddler in the middle of a meltdown. (He, and all the others, have pitched in countless times to help Emori and Murphy with their boys). It’s the fear of failing again that catches in Bellamy’s throat every time he thinks of it. The fear that he failed, that Octavia failed, and that he is a monster for it.

“Hey. You want to trade chores with me? Fishing’s easier than weeding, and you look like you could use a break.”

Miller stands by Bellamy’s side and makes the offer, holding their fishing gear. Bellamy looks up and quietly takes in Miller’s words. Miller and Jackson have both been good uncles to Murphy and Emori’s kids. Bellamy’s glad that his child or children will get to experience having them as uncles too.

“I don’t want to put you out,” Bellamy says. “You were doing the same construction work as me yesterday.” He wipes a bead of sweat from his brow.

Miller smiles. “I knew you were going to say that. Just take the offer. Come on. You and Clarke will soon be providing us with a free niece or nephew….and I know that **you’ll** appreciate our babysitting….so we owe you.”

Bellamy can’t help but to laugh and shake his head. “Okay. I won’t fight you on this. Today’s weeding is all yours,” he says, as he gets to his feet and takes the fishing gear from Miller. “Thank you.”

* * *

Not long afterwards, Bellamy is seated by the lake, waiting for bites. He hears footsteps slowly approaching and knows without turning his head who it is. Clarke has no choice but to move slowly nowadays. She once used the words “lumbering elephant” but Bellamy could only shake his head and tell her that he finds her more beautiful than ever. It’s the truth. There is actually, he thinks, a certain grace to the way she walks now. As terrifying as the prospect of fatherhood may be, it also comes with small moments of quiet awe like this one. Clarke approaching him, her long hair pulled back and up, off her neck. She reaches to kiss him. Years ago, Bellamy knows, Clarke was referred to as the commander of death but he sees her as the bringer of life. Especially now.

“She was kicking a few minutes ago but stopped now,” Clarke says by way of greeting.

Bellamy instinctively puts his hands in position anyway, feeling for any possible kicking. They decided, one night on a whim, to use female pronouns for the baby for now, only because Emori and Murphy’s children are both boys and “Skyring’s due for a girl. Even though that’s not how science works.” They knew they’d never use the pronoun “it” for the baby, so “she” it is – until the baby is born and they may or may not have to revise.

He then offers Clarke his seat – the best tree stump, smoothed down over the years for maximum comfort, right at the lake’s edge. She has stopped declining any offers of help from anyone, much as Emori did when she was nearly due as well. Bellamy moves to sit on the ground next to her.

“I was going to ask if you caught anything, but…” Clarke begins with a smile. The absence of any caught fish makes the answer obvious.

“I think I had a nibble or two but that’s it,” Bellamy answers, bemused. “What’s Madi up to? I haven’t seen her since breakfast.”

“Last I saw she was watching the boys so their parents could do some actual foraging, instead of just chasing after Reyes.” Clarke pats her belly. “She’s still so excited about the baby.”

“I’m glad,” Bellamy says. Madi must no longer be a child by any definition – keeping track of ages on Skyring just is never a priority except as it applies to the really young ones - but she has to be near or over what the Ark would have considered an adult. Still, Bellamy is relieved that Madi hasn’t shown the slightest signs of jealousy now that she will be a big sister. She had Clarke all to herself for six years but has adapted to life on Skyring so well.

They are quiet for several moments, just enjoying sitting next to each other. It’s been years but Bellamy is still in awe of this place – and even more in awe of the fact that he and Clarke are together, united. Although no piece of paper says it, they are married. Some days he just has to stop and bask in what he feels for Clarke. He knows he now has his soulmate by his side and that he is supremely lucky, despite the pain of missing Octavia.

“I think we **should** name the baby Tavia. If it’s a girl,” Clarke says at last.

Bellamy is quiet for several moments and then lets out a breath. It’s a discussion they’ve had many times before. “Clarke, I don’t know. What about our other options? Naming her after your mom or a name from mythology?”

“But the obvious choice is a tribute to Octavia.” She reaches a bit to grasp his shoulder, and her words are as firm as her grasp. “Bellamy. We need to talk about the reasons why you don’t want to do it.”

“You mean how I’m afraid I’ll mess up parenting the way I messed up big-brothering.” He decides to toss Clarke this. They’ve had a while to dance around the topic with Bellamy usually deflecting it. She has gently pushed him enough over the months so now he at least is facing the underlying issue here.

“I don’t know what I can say to you to convince you that you didn’t mess anything up,” Clarke says, meeting his eyes. Her voice is sympathetic and sad, not exasperated. “I don’t know what it will take for you to realize that you were given responsibilities that no child should ever be given and that you…you did so well with them.”

“Well, for starters how about…”

Bellamy breaks off when he sees Madi running towards them, followed closely by Jackson. It’s pretty rare to see anyone **running** on Skyring. They don’t need to exercise since their “jobs” provide plenty of it, every day. They might run after Reyes when he decides to force a game of hide and seek in the forest, or they might even run into the lake on a really hot day. Emori once ran for Jackson after Murphy hurt his hand. But in general, Bellamy hasn’t seen anyone really run since the days of Sanctum and earth.

“Murphy and Miller are fighting!” Madi breathes. “Bellamy, come break it up!”

With a quick glance at Clark and upon receiving her nod, Bellamy runs towards the cabin. There he finds the situation exactly as Madi described. Murphy and Miller clearly aren’t doing combat training; blood has been drawn, and besides, the group has pretty much abandoned practicing combat given that none of them believe they are likely to ever leave here.

Bellamy steps right into his element. As Dominick cries, off to the side, Bellamy places himself in between the two fighting men. “Whoa, whoa, break this up!” he demands.

Unable to hit their target without hitting Bellamy, both Murphy and Miller stand down. They are panting, one with a bloody nose, the other with an eye that’s already beginning to turn colors. They glare at each other with anger, seething but quiet.

Bellamy takes in their faces. Over the years here, he’s heard enough sarcasm from both Murphy and Miller to want to throw both of them into the lake at times, despite loving them like brothers. But for them to come to blows? That is unheard of on Skyring. Out of the corner of his eye, he notes that Clarke has now reached the area as well. Emori is scooping Dominick up in her arms.

Both Murphy and Miller are still struggling to catch their breath, which has the fortunate side effect of keeping them quiet. Each man’s spouse is now at his side, fussing over him.

“Okay,” Bellamy commands. “We got two options. We can sit down and talk about this like adults now – or we can sit down and talk about this like adults later.” His voice and authority carry.

Given the string of invectives that flow from both Murphy and Miller – directed at each other, not Bellamy - the answer is clearly ‘not now’. Bellamy again shuts them up with a wave of his hand. “Okay. You decided later, then. I want both of you to stay out of each other’s sight until dinnertime, and then we’re all going to sit down and discuss this like sane people.” He pauses for emphasis. “Now go. Stay away from each other until then.”

With one last glare at each other, Murphy and Miller do as told.

* * *

Bellamy is not looking forward to dinner. Yes, the group living up on the ring had their disagreements and by the end Murphy could be intolerable. But that felt so long ago, and even back then Bellamy doesn’t remember any fistfights.

Immediately after the fight, Bellamy checks in with Clarke, instinctively touching a hand to her belly. “I’m fine. She’s kicking a bit. Come on,” Clarke says. “Let’s salvage what we can of fishing for today.”

Bellamy looks around. “I’m going to stay here,” he says, referencing the cabin and garden, the focal point of Skyring. “I want to make sure they stay away from each other.” He takes a breath. “Maybe I can try to get them, or Emori or Jackson, alone and find out more about what the hell happened.”

He then looks at Clarke and knows he has something else to say. “Clarke. You’re the leader. I mean, I know the pregnancy has been hard lately and you haven’t been sleeping as much. But….well, you are definitely more of the leader here than I am.”

She reaches to hug him, best she can though Bellamy knows she feels awkward and huge. “I’m here to give you whatever advice and ideas you’d like.” She smiles. “But I know you can handle this one. And besides – my head is killing me and I really didn’t sleep a wink last night. I’m likely to nod off before dinnertime, so if you feel you can handle this….” She lets her voice trail off.

Bellamy knows he can’t let her down. He also knows she’s the last person to ever complain, so he imagines that her fatigue and aches are worse than she’s letting on. “Don’t you worry about it,” he says, mustering as much reassurance as he can. “I got this.”

“I know you do.”

* * *

Bellamy has laid the ground rules. No yelling or name-calling, and no more hitting. Each person has to do their best to stay calm and to listen to the other, and to figure out a way to resolve this.

“We’re all we got here,” Bellamy insists. The group is doing what they always do at this hour, sitting around the dinner table ready for their evening meal. The evenings, nights, and mornings are cool now so the fireplace is roaring. “There’s just the nine – soon to be ten – of us and that’s it. We have to find a way to work stuff out.”

Although he’s been dreading this mediation a bit, Bellamy looks around the table and is heartened. The light is dim already, but he can see their faces in the glow from the fire. The group is listening. Heck, he even suspects that they **want** leadership and direction on how to get through this. Both Murphy and Miller have looked calm since they entered the cabin. He wonders if Clarke perhaps has spoken with them earlier today. She may be physically tired, but he knows that doesn’t stop her proclivity towards being a good leader.

“And besides,” Bellamy continues. “We got two children here, soon to be three. Did we learn nothing from the mistakes of how we were raised? Don’t we want better for them?”

“Well, that’s exactly the problem,” Murphy says, meeting Bellamy’s eyes and not sounding happy.

“Okay. Let’s start with you Murphy, then. What happened?”

Although the next hour isn’t pleasant, Bellamy keeps it on track and listens to each person. He knows that the cause of this particular dispute isn’t as important as figuring out how everyone can handle disagreements better. But he reckons that starting with what happened is as good a place as any to address the underlying issues, so that’s what he does. It seems that the fight has something to do with how much time Miller and Jackson have been spending taking care of Reyes and Dominick. At times during the discussion this evening, both couples seem to think it’s too much, and at other times both couples seem to think it’s too little. Bellamy listens, and only needs to step in once or twice when it appears that the ground rules they set earlier might be violated.

“Okay,” he finally says, having digested what he’s heard. “It sounds like somewhere along the way you all stopped communicating with each other. About what exactly uncle-duties are and what they should be, and what works for everyone. Does that sound right?”

Bellamy glances at Clarke out of the corner of his eye. He sees her looking proud, and that helps. Then there is more discussion to follow and again it’s not easy.

But it finally concludes with Miller saying to Murphy (and Emori), “We’re glad to look after your kids. It’s an honor to be their uncles. And, uh, we’ll get better at telling you when we need a break.”

Murphy returns, “Thank you for taking them off our hands sometimes. We’ll, uh, also get better about talking with you about how much time is right.” He clears his throat and looks at Jackson, “And thank you for helping with their births.”

Jackson smiles, clearly looking relieved that this is winding down with a resolution, “Emori did all the work.”

“Yeah,” Murphy agrees, “all you did was hang out by her vagina all day.”

Emori smiles as she lightly swats Murphy’s arm, and he grins, “Hey! I was just jealous! It’s my favorite place to be!” She rolls her eyes at him. Reyes repeats the word “vagina?” in a questioning tone.

Bellamy finally exhales and smiles. He helped get the group to where they needed to be.

* * *

Two nights later, Bellamy is lying in bed, awake. He’s bundled in as many blankets as possible, Clarke having asked during the past few weeks if they could leave the window open. She alone has been finding the cabin too hot. Right now she’s returning to their room from the bathroom.

“Are you awake?” she whispers as she steps through the doorway.

He knows that she knows the answer. “Yes,” he responds.

“I’m gonna take a walk. I just can’t get comfortable - and can’t get to sleep.”

“Hey,” he says gently, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “If you want to sleep, why don’t you take the whole bed? It might be easier to get comfortable that way.”

He’s offered it before, and she’s accepted a few times. On those nights, he sleeps on the floor so that she can find whatever position she needs to get comfortable on the bed. But Clarke clearly feels guilty each time they’ve done it, joking about the terrible sort of wife who would allow such a thing. It doesn’t matter how many times Bellamy insists that it’s fine, that he’s slept in far worse places on far worse surfaces.

“No, it’s fine,” Clarke insists. “I just feel the need to move right now. To walk.”

“Want some company?”

Clarke is quiet for a second. She’s just looking at him. “I love you so much. You’re so caring and you’re so smart. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

“I think the same about you,” Bellamy says, getting to his feet and reaching to embrace her. “My love.”

They hold each other tight, just enjoying the love and the feel of each other’s embrace. Bellamy relishes the feel of her in his arms. He then rubs her back for a bit, knowing how much she likes and needs that nowadays.

Soon they are indeed walking outside, under the glow of moonlight. They hold hands as they enter the forest. It seemed so vast when they first arrived on Skyring, but Bellamy feels he could almost navigate it blindfolded if he had to now. His life has been such a strange journey so far, and the fact that he has no way to get back to Octavia and the others will always gnaw at him. He hopes that wherever she is, she’s somehow okay. Somehow not Blodreina.

But regardless, right here and right now Bellamy is very content and very excited. He’s eager to hold that baby, to talk to her, to sing to her. To watch her grow up.

“If you still like the idea,” he begins, “can we name the baby after Octavia? Tavia for a girl or Tavius for a boy?”

“Of course I still like it. I’m glad that you’ve come around. This-”

Clarke breaks off abruptly and stops walking. Bellamy startles, his mouth beginning to form a question as Clarke says, “This baby’s on her way. My water just broke!”

* * *

He has seen Emori and Murphy go through it and yet nothing could really prepare Bellamy for it.

The rest of the night and the next morning, a sequence of events takes place. Sometimes Clarke needs to sit, sometimes stand. Sometimes she walks, sometimes she lies down. After Jackson examines her at the outset, she insists she doesn’t need him until it’s time to push - which is still a ways away. She frequently sends Bellamy, Jackson, and Madi for supplies – a cool washcloth or boiled water or more of the herb tea they use to reduce pain. They sometimes bring her food but she truly can’t take in much more than a few bites of berries and acorn mush. She tells Bellamy that if he ever needs to just go somewhere and pace, he can – their bedroom is small and doesn’t allow anyone much more than a few steps. He helps her time her contractions.

At one point Clarke is slowly walking outside, just taking a few steps and getting some fresh air. Madi’s been itching to do something, so it’s Madi who is holding her hand now.

“Hey. Relax. No one ever tells you how hard this part is on the dad.”

Murphy is sitting next to Bellamy on the porch as they watch Clarke and Madi walk.

Bellamy appreciates Murphy’s words of wisdom and says, “Both times you looked like you were doing great.”

“I had to,” Murphy says straightforwardly. “After what happened the first time, with the miscarriage, I had to be strong. I did my freaking out very quietly,” he says with a whisper and a flourish.

Bellamy laughs, and Murphy is quick to add, “No offense to Emori. She’s a kick-ass mom and she handled all of it like a champ. I had the easier job by a mile.”

“You both handle parenthood like champs,” Bellamy says. His eyes are on Clarke. As far as he can tell, she’s still feeling the need to move around. The morning is young, and he knows that the early phase of labor can last hours – or days.

“Yeah. But we’re glad to stop at two.” A few years ago during foraging, Emori spotted an herb that she remembered Grounder men steeping and drinking to keep their sperm count low, as a form of birth control. As with any unfamiliar item found in the forest, consuming it was approached cautiously at first but it was found to be safe. As Murphy has said, ‘It’s bitter and disgusting’ but it – combined with the calendar method – seems to be working for birth control. Murphy taps a hand on Bellamy’s leg and adds, “Just hope you’re ready for the endless cycle of washing and changing diapers.” He then quickly adds, “Which you – and the others – have helped us with, a hundred thank you’s again.”

“No problem,” Bellamy says with a smile. “You knew we’d be cashing in on that.”

* * *

Ten hours later, Bellamy is holding Tavia. An exhausted Clarke is somewhere between asleep and awake, and has asked Bellamy to take the baby.

He’s held Murphy and Emori’s babies before, but this is different. Tavia feels impossibly tiny in his strong arms. In the waning light, Bellamy soaks in every bit of her little features, her tiny fingers and toes, her closed eyes, her lips, her nose. Somehow he remembers the baby version of his sister being bigger than the infant in his arms now, though he supposes his memory is playing tricks on him.

“A miracle,” he whispers. “A little miracle.”

Clarke murmurs something which he knows means assent. He understands they were incredibly lucky today to have a healthy mom and a healthy baby. Bellamy’s heart pounds with equal measures of relief and joy.

A light rap sounds on the door, and Madi gingerly enters. “The group wants to know if you need anything,” she whispers. “Water? More cloths?”

“Yes to both, please,” Bellamy answers.

When Madi returns a moment later with the items, she whispers, “Just like when the other babies were born. Yell if you need anything.” She takes a basket of soiled cloths to be washed from the room.

“Roger that.” Bellamy knows he’s lucky for this too, for an extended family that is right there, ready and eager to help. He knows that he can focus all of his energy on Clarke and Tavia, that the others will ensure the group has enough to eat, has clean clothing, keeps the house and garden in order and mends what needs mending. “And please tell everyone thank you,” he adds.

Madi smiles by way of reply and then closes the door on her way out.

“You’re going to be a great dad,” Clarke murmurs.

While carefully holding the baby in one arm, Bellamy reaches out with the other to grab one of the cool washcloths that Madi brought. He gives Clarke a questioning look, and she replies with a slight nod. They don’t need much more communication than that. He brings the cloth to her forehead.

“We’re going to give her the best foundation we can,” Bellamy agrees. “Together.”

**THE END**


	13. Addendum Three - Murphy

**Addendum Three – Murph**

* * *

**_T/W – A reference is made to the non-consensual sex that happened in season 3 between Ontari and Murphy._ **

* * *

Emori shrieks a bit when she sees her younger son, and as soon as he hears her, Murphy comes running. He too, upon first glance at Dominick, thinks it’s blood – and horrible memories of their time on earth instantly return. But Murphy is soon flooded with relief instead when he realizes, as Emori does, that it’s clearly not blood. The red liquid all over Dominick is the juice of what they call the “bitter berry”, a harmless berry with an unrelenting tart flavor (the group sometimes uses it to jazz up a bowl of acorn mush or even a piece of fish, but it’s too bitter to be eaten on its own).

“Dominick! You’re covered in bitter berry,” Emori says, squatting down next to him and pulling him into her arms.

“Reyes did it,” Dominick says straightforwardly. The red streaks are mostly on his chest and back, though his face and hair pulse with plenty of red as well.

Murphy makes a face while Emori asks Dominick, “He did, did he?” Murphy can tell his wife is keeping the question light and casual, and he’s trying to keep his own reaction…measured.

Murphy joins Emori in squatting by Dominick’s side. He looks at his younger son. He seems fine overall. Dominick goes on to tell his parents that he was playing with his brother and Reyes thought it would be “fun to paint on me”.

“Uh-huh,” Murphy says. “And did **you** think it was fun?”

“Not really,” Dominick says. “It was okay I guess.”

“Come on,” Emori says, rising to her feet. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

Murphy and Emori exchange a look, and Murphy goes off to look for Reyes while Emori escorts Dominick towards the lake for a bath. This is not the first time Reyes has decided to do something stupid to his little brother. Some of it is roughhousing that happens during their play, roughhousing that works to Dominick’s disadvantage because he’s smaller than his brother. Sometimes it’s things like Reyes telling Dominick “Mom’s really mad at you! You’re in so much trouble!” just to see his reaction.

Taking a few steps into the forest, Murphy finds Reyes. He is now playing a game of tag with Madi, and he doesn’t want to interrupt them. So he turns back. Murphy knows he’s mildly angry now anyway and determines that this might not be the best time to talk to his son. He decides to return to the work he’d been doing before he heard the commotion – shifting compost and turning the compost pile. Bellamy has been at his side for his gardening duties this morning, and Murphy decides to tap into Bellamy’s experience.

“Okay, you’re the only person here with experience being a big brother. Is this normal?” Murphy asks. He keeps his eyes on the compost pile but is eager to hear Bellamy’s reply.

“Hard to say what normal is,” Bellamy answers, sounding bemused.

“Oh come on. You can do better than that,” Murphy chides.

Bellamy takes a breath. “I don’t know, Murphy. I never did stuff like that to Octavia, but our circumstances were so different.” He takes a step closer to Murphy. “Just from my own perspective I….I sometimes feel uncomfortable with how Reyes treats him. Maybe it’s normal big-brother teasing, maybe it’s not.”

“I asked Madi about it the other day,” Murphy admits. “She said among her clan it was common knowledge that older siblings can get jealous when they get a younger sibling. And that they did a lot of teasing.”

“Maybe. I never felt that way, and teasing was definitely not my thing.” Bellamy pauses. “Tavia’s being a good big sister to Gail, but they’re younger than your kids. Maybe that will change when they get older.” He adds, “I hope not.”

Murphy takes another stab at the compost pile, heaving another portion from the bottom to the top. “Most of the time Dominick seems okay though,” he says. “We talk about it with him.”

Bellamy puts his hand on Murphy’s arm. “I think that’s good. Maybe talk to Reyes about it more too. Maybe a good time to re-hit that boundaries discussion. You know how it is with kids. Sometimes they just don’t remember and you have to repeat stuff.”

Murphy nods. “Thank you.”

***

The discussion goes well, at least it seems that way at first. Reyes seems to understand it. “Repeat back to me, buddy,” Murphy says towards the end. “How do we treat our brother?”

“Same way we treat everyone else,” Reyes says, and he’s smiling and not looking exasperated. “Love and respect and kindness.”

“And the examples we talked about…” Emori gently prompts.

“No hitting, no lying, don’t say things to make him cry. Uh, there were more but I can’t remember all of them.”

“Let’s try to remember more,” Murphy says. “Something about….putting yourself in Dominick’s place?”

“Yeah. I gotta think about how he feels about stuff, not just how I feel.”

“That’s good,” Murphy smiles. “Come on. Let’s get back to spelling and writing now.”

Murphy stands, ready to escort Reyes outside for his lesson. It’s easier at this stage to teach the kids reading and writing using a stick and either dirt or sand, since paper is such a rare and valuable commodity. Just as Murphy is about to take the boy back outside though, he glances at Emori and sees something in her face. He hesitates.

“Reyes, you go on ahead,” Murphy says.

“But what they’re doing is too easy for me,” Reyes protests. Clarke is currently outside with Tavia and Dominick, conducting their spelling and writing lesson.

“That’s okay. I’ll be back out in a minute.”

Once he’s alone inside the cabin with Emori, Murphy goes up to her and puts his arms around her. “Hey, hey,” he says quietly. “What’s wrong?” He saw the tears forming in her eyes a second ago.

Emori falls into his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. She’s crying quietly. Murphy is melting a bit inside at Emori’s tears. She doesn’t cry often. She’s everything to him. Well, the boys are everything to him too, but ever since the day Murphy laid eyes on her all those years ago, his life has orbited around her and he is trying to not flatten out like a squished berry right now because seeing her cry is devastating.

“You can let it out,” Murphy whispers. He shifts to a more teasing tone, thinking it might help. “Come on, just do it. We put in all those back-breaking hours making two more cabins so we could have privacy, so why not really let loose with the crying?”

Emori gives a slight laugh at his attempt at humor, and then lets the tears take over.

Murphy is right; at this point, Skyring’s inhabitants have a bit more privacy for things like loud crying. The group had agreed a while back that they needed more room with all the children, so they decided that they wanted a total of three cabins. They put a plan together and started out simple: first, a small cabin for Jackson and Miller. Once it was finished, they built a cabin for Murphy, Emori, and their kids. It has two bedrooms. Clarke, Bellamy, their kids, and Madi ultimately remained in the first, or main, cabin. The group has agreed that they will continue to cook and eat together inside the first cabin - economies of scale demand that cooking still be done communally, and besides it doesn’t make sense to build kitchens inside every cabin. Building the two additional cabins has meant months and even years of backbreaking labor, but right now they are reaping the benefits of it. Emori is free to cry without worrying about anyone walking in on her.

“So what’s on your mind?” Murphy asks softly, once Emori’s tears seem to be subsiding.

“That I’m a big baby,” Emori says. Her voice has a smirk to it but she’s shaking a bit. She swipes at her eyes.

“Oh come on,” he says playfully. He then takes a more serious and insistent tone. “Really. Why are you crying? Are you worried about Reyes becoming a bully?”

Emori shakes her head. “It’s not that. I think he’s gonna be fine. It’s me – I hate that I get emotional like this. I’m feeling sorry for myself, and that’s why I was crying. Something I told myself back when I was a kid that I’d never do.” She clears her throat, trying to get her breathing back to normal.

“Self-pity?” Murphy gently teases. “Sounds like fun.”

Emori playfully swats him. “It’s stupid. But I was just thinking how happy I am with you and the boys, and how I never had any of that growing up. How I didn’t have a goddamn family.”

“Hey, hey. You got every right to be sad and upset over that. And that doesn’t make you self-pitying or weak.” He shrugs. “Just makes you human.”

Emori is reaching for him again and hugging him closely. Murphy feels his heart swell again. Partly with sadness over the fact that Emori is so hurt by this wound – this horrible thing that happened to her when she was a child when she was cast out, the kind of injury you never really get over. His heart is also filling up a bit because he can tell that his words help her a bit, just like his talk with Reyes earlier today seems like it actually was working, like Reyes might be coming around to taking a gentler approach with his brother.

***

Several years later, Murphy and Emori are alone inside their room together. They are engaging in an activity that has always been a mutual favorite of theirs. The boys are old enough to play with little or no supervision, and they left them to enjoy their tree house, saying only that “Mommy and Daddy are going to have some quiet time inside our room now”.

Murphy knows that his sex drive has dipped a little bit. He’s no longer a 17 year old with raging erections. And he and Emori have been together for so long now that their days of just devouring each other have waned a bit too. There are also the two energetic sons and the endless stream of work to zap some of their energy. So this afternoon, Murphy is pleased that he and Emori still desire each other, still reach for each other this way even if it’s not as frequent as it used to be.

He’s lying on his back right now as she straddles him. That has always been her favorite position, and he’s never had any complaints over it. It’s kind of fun to just lay back and enjoy the ride, sometimes reaching up to kiss her lips or touch her breasts, mostly just watching her move on him. Ever since her first pregnancy, Emori’s breasts have filled out nicely, and Murphy has greatly appreciated that. They’ve been more sensitive ever since then too though, so he has to be extra-gentle in his appreciation of them.

Murphy also appreciates the fact that he’s still able to get and stay hard, despite the dip in his sex drive. Emori’s movements are growing faster and faster and she’s making progressively more and louder noises. Murphy is glad for this too, that she still wants him and still enjoys this. He murmurs some words and phrases to her, stuff he knows she likes to hear when she’s getting close; they both like it and they find that they soon are both fulfilled.

Not long afterwards, they are cuddling together. This is another thing that hasn’t much changed. They both like to spend time together after they’re satisfied, snuggling together. She’s stroking his beard leisurely. It’s a little on the long side now. The men on Skyring mostly all are sporting lush beards and mustaches; only Miller keeps his facial hair closely-cropped. The rule seems to be as long as you or your spouse doesn’t find it unappealing, let it grow.

“Bathroom,” Emori whispers after a bit. Murphy nods, Emori plants another quick kiss on his mouth before she throws on her sundress and leaves the room.

Not long later, Murphy hears sounds from their cabin’s main room. The boys apparently are back from their tree house and from what Murphy can overhear, they are starting up a very serious discussion with their mom. He senses he should be part of it, so he pulls on his trousers and shirt and joins them.

“It’s okay,” Emori is saying, when Murphy enters the room. Since their cabin doesn’t have a kitchen, the main room is sparse. It contains little more besides a fireplace, chairs, shelves, and a few decorations like wildflowers hanging in baskets and new curtains for the windows. “We discussed this before but it’s okay to have questions. Your dad and I want you to feel like you can discuss this anytime with us.”

“Are we talkin’ about sex?” Murphy asks, keeping the tone light and pulling up a chair.

“Uh-huh,” Emori confirms with a smile and a nod.

“We were kinda worried because mom was making so much noise,” Reyes says. As usual, the kid is straightforward. He doesn’t, as far as Murphy can tell, display any artifice. Not too many filters either though. He certainly says what’s on his mind.

“Ah,” Murphy says. “Noise sometimes happens during sex. Like we talked about, it can feel pretty intense so that’s what that’s all about.”

“She sounded like she was in pain.” Reyes does not look happy.

“That’s not what happened,” Emori says, leaning towards Reyes and touching his arm. “Sometimes things aren’t what they seem. What your dad said was right. I was making a lot of noise because it felt really good.”

“Okay,” Reyes says. “I’m glad you’re ok. We were just worried.”

“Do we need to re-hit the basics?” Murphy asks. “I know we covered it before but – well, I know when I was a kid, I didn’t remember everything I was told the first time. The first time my dad had ‘The Sex Talk’ with me it was too much information and I didn’t remember half of it.”

“No, I got it.”

“Dominick, what about you?” Murphy turns towards his younger son. “Should we re-hit some of the basics?” He wants to add a smarmy comment like ‘ _Let’s talk about the beautiful miracle of life_ ’ but he knows full well there are some things you don’t joke about. T _he kids don’t understand sarcasm either, which really blows,_ Murphy jokes silently.

“I’m good,” Dominick replies simply.

“Okay, cool. Well, any time you have questions or want to go over it again, just let us know,” Murphy says, keeping his tone light. “We’re at your service!” he adds, this time eliciting a disproving look from Emori. _Right, cut the sarcasm,_ he reminds himself.

Murphy thinks that overall they’ve been handling the topic of sex well. The Ark had a hundred problems, but candid discussions about sex wasn’t one of them, so that helped him with how he and Emori approach the topic with the kids. One day not too long ago, Reyes began to play with himself in a public spot. Murphy tried to keep it casual, went up to his son, and said, “Hey, remember what we talked about? You gotta do that in private. Not where other people are around.” He had wanted to add, ‘You don’t see any of the other guys whipping our dicks out in front of other people’ but caught himself in time.

 _The joys of parenting,_ Murphy muses, _where you get to censor your sarcasm a hundred times a day._

***

Reyes is older now. The entire second generation of Skyring is here; Clarke and Bellamy’s youngest is now old enough that she’s begun training under Jackson and Clarke to be a healer. The first generation understands fully that they won’t live forever, and that their kids need to master the survival skills.

The first generation has discussed the topic many times, the topic that they began thinking about way back when Emori first got pregnant. Looming parenthood made them speculate on what the rest of their lives might be like given that it didn’t appear they’d ever be leaving Skyring. They have talked about the fact that for most people – though Madi interjects not for herself – the desire to do things like find a mate and have sex is a strong one. And now most of the second generation has hit puberty, some of them years ago.

“Reyes is definitely starting to notice girls,” Clarke begins the conversation that evening. It’s a warm evening, and the group is building a fire so they can eat outside. Some might sleep outside too – it will get cool when the sun goes down so the fire will be needed then.

The adults have told the children that they want a bit of privacy now, so they suggested that “the kids” (who are mostly teenagers now) go enjoy the lake. Miller and Jackson volunteered to keep an eye on the kids, though they truly don’t need that much direct supervision. Tavia, in fact, has taken to telling anyone who will listen that she feels smothered by the way they live. She has built herself a primitive shelter in the forest, constructed out of leaves and twigs, and she spends much of her time there. Which she is permitted to do, as long as she completes her chores. She often sleeps there when it’s warm enough, though on a rainy night she will return to the room she shares with Madi.

“Yes,” Emori says in response to Clarke’s statement.

The fact is fairly obvious to anyone – Reyes is definitely interested in girls. Murphy listens and thinks back to history class for a second. Is this how parents in the old world discussed things like arranged marriages? Well, Murphy tells himself, ever since they decided to have kids that meant that plenty of awkward conversations would have to follow over the years. _So here we go with another one._

“We’ve had the discussions with him,” Murphy says. “We talked to him about consent and respect.” That is a topic Murphy has never dodged and never will; he talks about it with the boys more than even Emori does. He shudders, remembering having a collar around his neck, being forced into Ontari’s bed, lying to himself about how terrible the entire experience was.

“He, uh, hasn’t crossed any lines, has he?” Emori asks. Murphy feels pretty certain that they would know if Reyes had, but agrees with Emori that it doesn’t hurt to ask.

“No, no,” Bellamy responds. “He’s been respectful. Eager, but respectful.”

“Tavia has told him that she’s not interested, and he respects that,” Clarke adds. She then seems to swallow and says, “Gail told me yesterday that she’s interested in him.”

Murphy’s instinct is to think that this is news to him, and that he should know this. But “the kids” are mostly in a phase where they seem to want their privacy or their autonomy or just their own headspaces away from the adults. Tavia’s taking to spending much of her time in the forest is just one example. Dominick is quiet and seems to prefer spending his free time drawing or studying soil instead of speaking to anyone. Gail tends to bury her face in her sewing. So maybe it truly should be a surprise that Gail returns Reyes’ interest.

“But she’s really shy about the whole thing,” Bellamy adds. “She just said she wants to take things slow.”

“Okay, cool, that makes sense,” Murphy says. “So do you think….like do you think she should talk to him about that? Or do you want us to remind him that if anyone ever returns his interest that he should take things slow and listen to the other person?”

Clarke and Bellamy look at each other, and simultaneously reply with, “Both.” Clarke then continues, “Yeah, let’s do both those things.”

Bellamy looks down and then adds, “We gotta talk about something else. Pregnancy.”

“Yeah,” Clarke adds. “Our kids are too young to become parents now. But you know what can happen when young people start to fool around, and one thing leads to another. Sometimes they end up in a place that they didn’t mean to get to.”

“We’ll re-hit that discussion too,” Murphy says. He inwardly cringes just a bit, knowing he’s going to be facing a very exasperated teenage boy who will throw his hands up in the air and complain that they’ve discussed this a million times already. Last time the subject was broached, Murphy believes that Reyes’ response was ‘I could teach a damn class on the topic now and I haven’t even **had** sex yet!’

“Maybe,” Emori begins tentatively, “depending on how it goes, we should see if he wants to start drinking the herbs too. Just in case.” Emori is referring to the herbs that Murphy and Bellamy steep and drink to keep their sperm count low, working as a form of birth control.

Clarke nods, perhaps a bit enthusiastically Murphy thinks. “I think that would be a good precaution,” Clarke says. “I could see things…progressing between Gail and Reyes.”

Clarke sounds fairly certain, Murphy notes. Interesting. Perhaps Gail really is quite interested. If that’s true, Murphy knows, Reyes will be beyond thrilled. Murphy reminds himself to do what he’s always urged Reyes to do with his brother – see the other person’s standpoint and empathize with them. Clarke and Bellamy are right to be concerned; Reyes is so eager and sometimes hormones take over from solid judgment. Gail’s still pretty young, and having a pregnancy at her age could risk both her mental and physical health. So Murphy understands where Clarke and Bellamy are coming from.

Their discussion seems to be winding down, which is fortunate. After not long, several footsteps are heard, the group is returning from the lake, and Reyes is asking when dinner will be on because he’s hungry. Murphy’s eyes widen when they come close enough to the fire to be seen better: Reyes and Gail are holding hands.

 _Yeah, we probably want to get him started on those herbs right away. Welcome to the world of a daily cup of bitter tea,_ Murphy thinks. He’s glad though too. If Reyes and Gail can make a real go at it, Reyes would definitely be happy. Maybe they can find some of the love that their parents have been lucky enough to find. He glances at Emori and once again, his heart fills.

THE END


	14. Epilogue Two

**Epilogue Two**

* * *

**Raven**

It will not be an easy 24 hours for Raven. Her “to do” list is long. She has to tell Octavia that Bellamy has lived an entire lifetime and is now dead. She has to help Breeze through his culture shock. All of this while navigating a situation on Sanctum that – when they left – seemed ready to devolve into chaos. And in the back of her head, Raven has to think about whether she wants to live the rest of her life on Skyring or on Sanctum - and she doesn’t have too much time to make that decision either. One of the draws of Skyring would be spending time with Emori but given the time dilation, Emori might be dead by the time Raven returns to Skyring if she waits too long.

 _Dying of old age._ Raven spends a minute to contemplate the very idea and compare it to the deaths of the other people she cared about. Finn died at the end of a knife, a mercy killing. Sinclair was stabbed to death by someone who survived Mount Weather. Jasper died by suicide, Abby was body-snatched, Shaw died from radiation. Well, there were Monty and Harper – they died of old age, or natural causes in Harper’s case. The idea, to Raven, does hold a certain appeal given the alternatives she’s watched her loved ones suffer through.

Raven shakes her head. The first thing she has to do is talk to Octavia. She turns to Gabriel and Breeze.

“Okay, Breeze,” she begins, facing him. “We talked about culture shock before we left Skyring. Do you want to stay here in Gabriel’s camp for a bit while I talk to Octavia?” She pauses and adds, for herself, “Your Great-Aunt is gonna really have a hard-“

“I know,” Breeze says, sounding calm and meeting Raven’s eyes. “This will be hard for her. I’ll stay here for now if Gabriel’s okay with it. One thing at a time. Meet some of the Children of Gabriel maybe,” he adds with a smile. He appeared to listen intently to everything Gabriel and Raven had to say back on Skyring, so Raven is not surprised that he remembers the Children of Gabriel.

Gabriel confirms that he’s good with the plan, and Raven heads off to find Octavia.

***

**Emori**

“That was harder than I thought it would be. Watching Raven leave.”

Emori is sitting next to Madi on the porch of their cabin. Dinner is less than an hour away and the women are enjoying cups of tea.

“Harder than watching Breeze go?” Madi asks, a twinge of surprise in her voice.

“Breeze needed to go,” Emori said, shaking her head. “You know he’s always been the most stubborn of the grandkids. The most independent. And the most vocal of the three about wishing he could get a…a love interest.”

“And the first to ask for stories about ‘the other worlds’. I see what you mean. You know that this is best for him.”

Emori nods and takes another sip. “I’m happy for him. But watching Raven leave?” she asks, her voice almost cracking. “I’d accepted that I’d never see her again. We’ve had such good lives here. Seeing her again….brought back all those memories. And then to have to just say goodbye to her again…”

Madi tilts her head. “But she’s coming back, right? With Octavia? Numbers were never my thing, but they said they’d gotten the time dilation way down.”

“It still exists though,” Emori says somberly. “It could be months in our time before they return. And they said Sanctum is unstable right now. For all we know, they could’ve gotten shot as soon as they returned. Or burned at the stake,” she adds, not about to forget the time she, Murphy, and others were almost burned at the stake.

“Crazy,” Madi murmurs. “The kind of stuff we lived through. I do kind of wish Breeze didn’t-“

Emori cuts her off. “I know. His dad told him he had to live his own life and make his own mistakes. Even if this mistake costs him his own life, which it very well might.” She pauses, “I agree with Reyes, even though I knew that meant I might never see Breeze again.” She takes another sip of her tea. “After John died, you know I thought all the time about doing what Clarke and Jackson did when they lost their spouses. Just kind of decide to slow down, sleep most of the day, not eat, let it go…..but I wanted to be around for the kids and grandkids as long as I can, watch them grow up. Now I have another reason to hang on. I really want to see Raven again!”

“Even though you miss Murphy,” Madi says straightforwardly. Her voice contains warmth and understanding.

“Every single day.”

Months do, indeed, pass. Everyone misses Breeze and agrees that Skyring feels strange without him. His absence – plus Raven and Gabriel’s visit – are heavy topics of conversation. They speculate about whether Raven and Breeze will return, whether they will ever get to meet Octavia, Jordan, or any of the others. Reyes sometimes worries that the portal which Gabriel is guarding will get into the wrong hands and that their paradise will be overrun.

And then one day Emori and Madi are on their morning stroll through the forest when Sky dashes up to them. “Raven’s back!” she breathes. “Along with Aunt Octavia and Jordan.”

***

**Raven**

Raven is returning to Skyring for now, this time with Octavia and Jordan.

They will be the only three visiting this time. They are bringing with them supplies from a list that the inhabitants of Skyring asked for. Although the people on Skyring are self-sufficient, things like new clothing and medical supplies will be appreciated.

Echo is staying back on Sanctum, which Raven fully understands. For Echo, it has been only days since she and Bellamy broke up. If Echo regrets the break-up, she doesn’t show it – no surprise there, Raven thinks. Raven does gather that there’s more to it than that though, more than just potential discomfort at the idea of meeting the descendants of her recent ex. Apparently more members of Azgeda survived the bunker than any other clan, and they respect and admire Echo. Indra grudgingly admires her prowess too, especially the more she learns about Echo’s role in the battle for Shallow Valley. Echo is carving out a new role for herself in Sanctum, among Wonkru, and she’s in no hurry to leave right now.

Indra, Gaia, and Niylah are remaining on Sanctum for now too. Wonkru is showing signs of cracking and Octavia’s departure won’t help, but it is hoped that Indra and Gaia can hold them together (with Echo using her influence on Azgeda). Gaia says she’d like to see Madi again someday but Wonkru needs her right now. Niylah has spent a bit of time working in Sanctum’s medical center, and she has met a nurse there. Sparks seem to be flying between them, so she’s not eager to head to Skyring just yet either - though she does say that eventually she’d like to meet Clarke’s descendants.

Gaia and Niylah add that if Miller and Jackson were still alive they’d like to see them, but they apparently missed that chance. They are as bowled over as everyone else at the news and the concept of time dilation.

Breeze, who is just embarking upon his mission to live life outside of Sanctum, says he doesn’t need a chaperone while Raven’s gone, but Raven insists. (“We told you. Sanctum just lost its leaders. Things are unstable.”) Gabriel has plenty of things to contend with now – going over all the data from Skyring and the anomaly plus leading the Children of Gabriel in his spare time. He and Raven decide the best approach is to ask people who they trust to function as “guides” for Breeze. Gabriel asks one of his people, Nelson, to take on the role and Raven asks Niylah to do the same, when she’s not working in the medical center or getting to know the nurse.

With that sorted away, Raven can return to Skyring, this time with Jordan and Octavia.

 _Octavia_.

Raven has to pause for a second just thinking about her. She took the news better than Raven would have expected, though Raven can easily sense the storm brewing just below her surface.

When she first returned from Skyring, Raven sat with Octavia in a quiet place and told her the news. She had to swallow her nerves and just relay the facts. Although Raven first met her years ago back at the dropship camp, she has hardly spent any time with Octavia. The woman who Bellamy spoke about during those six years on the ring bears little resemblance to Blodreina - not that Raven spent much time with Blodreina either.

Octavia had many questions, Raven answered them, and Octavia appeared to accept the answers. She did not display emotion. Octavia said she wanted to go to Skyring, Raven nodded, and they got down to planning for the trip. Items needed to be procured, Jordan and the others needed to be spoken with and each needed to decide whether they were coming.

“You said one of them is here?” Octavia asked, again dispassionately.

“His name is Breeze,” Raven answered. “He’s at Gabriel’s camp in the woods. I’ll take you to meet him.”

Octavia’s face again remained neutral, but she apparently needed to repeat what Raven had told her. “And he’s the grandson of Bellamy. And Clarke, and Murphy and Emori.”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Take me to him.”

Raven doesn’t see Octavia again until it’s time for the trip back to Skyring. The two of them plus Jordan get ready to cross the bridge.

***

**Madi**

It is a bit surreal, she knows. During the six years alone with Clarke in Shallow Valley, Madi used to listen to Clarke’s stories of life on the ground and on the Ark. Octavia had been her favorite. Then she’d had the chance to meet Octavia, who was known as Blodreina by then. When Madi thinks back to those events, events which happened a lifetime ago, she remembers fleeting images and impressions. The dank, dark bunker. Blodreina’s hard eyes, hard shell. Clarke’s constant worry, which made Madi’s own gut sink and tremble. Then war, battle, bloodshed, and tears in the fight for Shallow Valley. And the metallic, mechanical smell of the Eligius ship as Madi did something her birth parents and clan could never have even conceived – headed off into a cryo pod and then into the depths of space.

“Seems like some crazy dream,” Madi remembers Reyes saying one day during one of the countless stories told about life before Skyring.

“Sometimes it seems that way to me too,” Madi had added, her voice sounding far away.

And now back to the present day, Sky has just run up to Madi and Emori during their morning walk.

“Raven’s here? With Octavia and Jordan?” Emori repeats at her granddaughter.

“Yes,” Sky confirms. “No Breeze though. Come on, let’s go.”

***  
 **Madi**

The group congregates in their usual spot – the garden and picnic tables outside the three cabins. The morning is a warm one and clearly will be climbing towards a hot day, but right now it’s not unpleasant.

Madi tries to take it all in. Raven is helping to introduce Octavia and Jordan to everyone. Jordan’s face hides nothing – he appears to be somewhere in between shock and awe and something else. _Sadness_ , Madi realizes. Jordan looks very, very mournful.

Octavia looks stoic. She’s greeting her nieces and grandnieces with hugs. Madi wouldn’t call them particularly warm or passionate hugs, but at least Octavia’s not shrinking back from any of them either.

At last it is Madi’s turn to greet Octavia. What a difference this will be, Madi knows, from the battlefield all those years ago when Octavia knelt before her.

“Octavia,” Madi says, taking a few steps closer to her. “It has been many years.”

“Not for me it hasn’t,” Octavia replies. Again her face is stoic, unreadable. “Raven warned me that you and Raven were old now. Couldn’t believe it.”

Madi reaches for Octavia and pulls her into a hug. “I’m sorry for your loss,” Madi says quietly. “Bellamy had a long and very happy life here. He missed you a lot.”

“I just saw him a few days ago,” Octavia says. Her voice again does not display much emotion. Madi feels perhaps a slight tremble coming off of Octavia’s body in the hug though. She guesses the younger woman is struggling to hold it all in.

“We brought gifts,” Raven says. The group soon turns its attention to the gifts, and the word ‘excitement’ doesn’t do any of it justice. The group is completely overwhelmed with joy at having new clothing and medical supplies. Exclamations along the lines of ‘It takes me half a year to make a pair of pants and they still never fit right!’ are heard as someone holds up a new pair of trousers. There are other gifts too, simple things like puzzles, games, paper, and writing implements.

“Let’s celebrate,” Reyes said. “This calls for opening up some of the moonshine.”

“We’ve been saving some for this,” Tavia adds with a smile.

***

**Sunshine**

“I heard so much about your parents. I wish I could’ve met them.”

Sunshine, the eldest of the grandchildren, is walking with Jordan. They started out walking around the lake and are now heading into the forest. Jordan is slightly tipsy from the moonshine and he seems like he knows it, so he’s letting Sunshine hold his hand at times, and at other times steady him by taking hold of his arm.

“I loved them a lot,” Jordan says in reply to Sunshine. He’s silent for a long time, and she respects his silence, suspecting that he will have more to say soon. Jordan then adds, “They would have loved it here,” and his voice cracks as he says it.

“Go on,” Sunshine says softly.

“Give me a second,” he says, sniffing back tears.

Sunshine reaches for his arm once again and positions it so that she’s supporting him as they walk.

Jordan finally continues. “They would’ve loved it here,” he repeats. “Spending their lives here instead of on that….that sterile spaceship. The garden. The lake. All the food, not just algae.” He pauses. “And I’d have had cousins. Maybe would’ve had brothers and sisters too. They never had another child because it was risky without a doctor there.”

He pauses, smiles, and turns to look at Sunshine. “You probably think I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Self-pitying fool.”

“Not at all,” Sunshine answers, her voice firm. “My grandparents – all except Clarke – lived on the Ring for six years. It wasn’t the same as the Eligius, but….well similar concept. And same food,” she adds with a smile. “They all said that living here was about a million times better.” She pauses. “You didn’t have anyone your own age growing up, while I did. And so did my parents. I-I have no doubt that the universe handed me a better deal.”

Jordan clears his throat again as if to halt any potential crying. “Thank you. For not getting down on me for being sad about this.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that. **Your parents** made this possible. If it wasn’t for their work to crack the Eligius files and find out about Sanctum then…well, then my grandparents wouldn’t have ended up here.” She tilts her head and adds wryly, “I might never have been born.”

Jordan looks at her intently and nods. “Yeah. But seriously, thanks for understanding. I feel….so **sad** and so…left out. I know that doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes sense! And your feelings are your feelings. You can be as sad or as angry or as feeling left out as you want around me.”

“Can we sit for a bit?” Jordan asks. “I definitely had too much of that cider.”

“Of course.” Sunshine looks around and points. “How about there? The ground doesn’t look damp there and we can rest our backs against that tree.”

They sit together, mostly quiet now though Sunshine asks Jordan a few questions about his life and he seems happy to answer. She asks about his time on the Eligius and also about some of what he lived through on Sanctum. He is full of questions for her as well. Murphy had been his favorite, so he asks her a bit about her father’s father.

Sunshine intentionally takes his hand and holds it as they talk. She knows he’s a bit tipsy and so she silently debates herself on an ethics question. She then decides to just ask.

“Hey Jordan,” Sunshine begins. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

If he’s taken aback, he doesn’t show it. In fact, his reply is eager. “Yes. Very.”

“Do you want you…you know, kiss and stuff? I’ve never been kissed before.” She strokes his hand as she asks.

His eyes are wide. “I’d love that!”

“Good,” she smiles. “Uh, I also have to ask. You said you’d had too much to drink. I don’t want to take advantage of you or anything like that…”

“Oh, you wouldn’t be! You definitely wouldn’t be.” Jordan replies, again not hiding his eagerness. “And I swear I’m not that tipsy!”

***

**Raven**

_Well, I picked the wrong time to go for a walk in the forest. Just wanted to enjoy nature for a bit and clear my head, and then I come across Monty and Harper’s son having sex with the granddaughter of Clarke, Bellamy, Murphy, and Emori. Not something I **ever** hope to see again_.

Raven makes an about-face as soon as she sees Jordan and Sunshine together, and rapidly heads back to the cabin.

She’d set out for her walk on a purpose. She knows she needs to make a decision: stay on Skyring or go back to Sanctum. Raven had thought that a stroll through the forest might help clear her mind. She’s used to acting decisively, but is struggling now.

 _Well, at least I just got a reminder of one thing I need to factor in,_ Raven tells herself with a shake of the head. _I decide to stay here, I can forget about ever having sex again. No one here’s a fit for me even for just a hook up. Dominick’s single but there is no way in hell that I’m sleeping with Murphy and Emori’s son._

There are many factors to consider, and sex is one of them. There are other negatives to Skyring too. There are no machines, no technology. Raven suspects she could make another dash back to Sanctum and get the components she’d need for solar panels. But anytime she tries to do that, she runs the risk of coming back years later. Of Emori or Madi being dead by the time she returns. So Raven needs to seriously consider whether she’d be bored here. _Do I want to spend my life repairing roofs and weeding the garden?_

However, the list of positives is long as well. Could all the technology and computers on Sanctum possibly outweigh the fact that Skyring offers her a life of peace? A life of not worrying about seeing herself or her loved ones get stabbed or bodysnatched or fried by radiation? A life of not worrying about where her next meal is coming from or fearing a dictator’s rise?

 _What about companionship, apart from sex? Emori and Madi might live another ten years or so - or they might not. The other people here all seem nice enough though I don’t really know them. Hell, if I could get through six years on the ring with Murphy without killing him, then I’m sure I can get along with everyone here._ Raven goes on to remind herself that she doesn’t know what Octavia and Jordan will decide.

_Jordan I wouldn’t mind spending a lot of time with here. Octavia could be a problem since I really barely know her. And as much as she’s trying to hide it, she’s not happy right now. I don’t like the look in her eyes today._

Raven considers the grandson, Breeze. If she stays here and Breeze stays on Sanctum, then she obviously can’t look after him. Are Gabriel and Niylah and that Nelson guy going to be enough? What if Sanctum collapses into civil war and Breeze ends up on his own? I’d sure be failing to protect him. Along those lines, Raven asks herself whether she would truly be okay with never learning how things shook out on Sanctum. She’s not particularly attached to Wonkru, but she would be curious to know if they ever do find peace. Echo is back there too, and Raven does feel something of an attachment to her. Echo would never agree to spend her life here, that’s for sure.

Raven also reminds herself that she could, if she wanted, go back and forth between the two worlds. But there are downsides to that idea. Based on what she and Gabriel could determine, frequent travel between these two realms could wreck havoc on her system because of the time dilation. She doesn’t really want to mess with that, and would rather pick one place and stay there. She’s had enough travel between worlds for one lifetime.

By the time she returns to the main area, Raven is leaning one way but still not certain.

***

**Raven**

A few hours later, Raven’s namesake approaches her. “Hey,” Reyes begins. “I’m on fishing duty this afternoon. Would you come with me for a bit? I wanted to talk with you.”

“Sure,” Raven says, and she soon finds herself at the lake’s edge with Reyes. She watches him with the fishing gear and notes that if she does decide to stay here, there are plenty of things she can learn; they just don’t have anything to do with machines or computers. She’s never fished or gardened before, for example. She doesn’t count helping with the algae farm on the ring.

Reyes first asks about his son, and asks Raven to go over again any information she has about the people who are acting as his “guides” on Sanctum. They did cover this during the celebration when Raven arrived this morning with the others, but she understands a parent’s desire to want to hear it again. Raven ends with saying, “I wish I knew Nelson better, but Gabriel tells me he trusts him completely. And I know that Clarke, Miller, and Jackson all trusted Niylah – I never knew her that well but they did.”

Reyes thanks her for the recap. Raven can see in his eyes that he’s missing his son and wishing that Breeze hadn’t had such a strong desire to leave. They are distracted for a bit when Reyes catches a fish, but once it’s reeled in, he continues.

“Tell me again about the anomaly – and how safe the portal really is now. The last thing I ever want to see is an army of bodysnatchers coming through someday. Or an army of Wonkru warriors.”

Raven takes a breath. “No one but Gabriel and I really understand how to operate it. He said he’s going to teach Breeze - and Nelson – to do it too. But – well as your parents know– there are no guarantees in life.” She pauses. “I know that Gabriel will do his best to protect it…but anything could happen.”

Reyes sets down his fishing rod and looks at Raven. “I want it destroyed then,” he says firmly. “Even if it means never seeing my son again.”

“That seems a little extreme, Reyes,” Raven says with an exhalation of breath.

“Extreme would be 400 Wonkru warriors charging through here. Or hundreds of supporters of - what was his name?- Russell Prime deciding to make this their new home. We couldn’t accommodate that many people if we wanted to.” He pauses. “And we don’t want them here anyway,” he concludes firmly.

Raven opens her mouth to reply, but Reyes isn’t finished. “We’ve had a life of peace here, Raven. Don’t take that from us.”

Raven is quiet for a moment. His plea makes sense. And the fact remains anything is possible right now – could Gabriel someday be forced to show someone else how to use the portal? Could Gabriel be killed before he’s able to fully train Breeze on how to use it?

“We should at least consider it,” Raven allows. “Destroying the portal.”

“You’re staying, right?” Reyes asks. He’s got a slight smile right now, and once again Raven is reminded of the way his mouth and his voice so closely resemble Murphy’s.

“I’m leaning that way,” Raven admits. It’s good to say the words out loud. The concept of living out the rest of her life here now feels more real.

They are quiet for a bit after that. At some point, Jordan and Sunshine stop by. Sunshine is on dinner-duty today and she’s asking people for their preferences.

“They were holding hands,” Raven notes, once Sunshine and Jordan are back out of earshot.

“She moves fast,” Reyes observes with a small smile. “I know she’s been really eager for….a boyfriend.” He sighs. “Can’t fault her for that; I was the same way growing up, about wanting a girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah?” Raven asks. She’s glad for now to have something to think about other than the idea of destroying the portal – and thus is happy to latch onto wherever Reyes is going with this.

“Gail and I liked each other from the start. With the way we all live on top of each other like this….well, let’s just say there were lots of discussions about it.” Reyes sounds bemused as he thinks back. “Our parents just wanted to make sure that…we never got out of line, that people’s boundaries were being respected. I joked that I had to listen to about 100 lectures about consent. When Gail and I agreed we were ready to go further, we practically had to get a written sign-off from all four parents.” He shakes his head but definitely seems to find humor in the situation now. “But yeah,” he concludes. “I was eager. So’s Sunshine. It’s natural.”

It is, Raven knows. She has to ask herself once again if she’s really ready to give up the chance of ever having romantic love or sex again.

***

**Madi**

Since it’s warm, the group is having their dinner outside. Sunshine is on cooking duty, but Madi insists on helping and they have prepared a feast. The crowning touch is that they have opened some of their canned fruit (it’s a fruit that no one knows the name of but they refer to as “apple berry”). They serve it stewed slowly in oil with cinnamon sprinkled on top. It is a sweet treat that the group uses only for special occasions.

Although Madi registers that Sunshine and Jordan appear to already be an item, it’s Octavia who keeps drawing her eye. There is a spark simmering and it’s threatening to turn into full-blown fire soon. The group chats merrily during the dinner, except for Octavia who is mostly quiet. Just as the exquisite dessert is being served, Octavia stands up.

“I’m leaving. I can’t do this anymore,” she announces.

Madi sees Gail and others start to open their mouths to offer words of comfort, but Octavia holds up a hand. “And don’t anyone else ask me if I want to go on a walk and talk about it.”

Madi decides to speak, hoping that her status as Octavia’s one-time commander – however brief it was – might carry some weight. It wasn’t that long ago, for Octavia anyway. “Octavia.” She lets the one word hover there for a second. “It’s okay,” she says simply. “It’s okay to be upset.”

Octavia peers at Madi. “You’re not that much younger than he was. Why couldn’t he have lived a few more years??”

“I don’t know. I don’t know why any of this happened – why he and the others of us landed here and you didn’t. We can’t control it. But Bellamy had a lo—“

“Yeah, I got it!” Octavia says harshly. “Bellamy had a long and full life here and he was a great dad. I’ve heard it a hundred times today. Great. But I never got to say goodbye!” She takes a pronounced breath. “You all seem like wonderful people, but I’m stepping into the last chapter of a book having missed almost all of the rest of it. I don’t belong here.”

Daphne leans towards her aunt and speaks softly. “I promise I won’t ask you if you want to go on a walk again and I won’t say anymore platitudes. But…maybe stay the night? We dug up and saved as many of Dad’s letters to you as we could. It might be good to read them. I-I know before you said you didn’t want to, but just think about it, okay?”

Octavia gazes at Daphne and slowly sits down.

Madi watches Raven slightly clear her throat. “Uh, also, Octavia? You can’t leave now,” Raven says. “Gabriel’s opening up the portal and based on our calculations, it should open up tomorrow morning.”

“Okay.” Octavia says. “I’ll stay the night. But I’m leaving tomorrow. I don’t belong here. But I do belong at Indra’s side, and she’s back at Sanctum. With Wonkru.”

***  
 **Breeze**

Breeze understands now, and he’s beyond thrilled that he’s getting to experience it. He understands why artists, poets, writers and musicians spend their lives preoccupied with the topic. He has grown up experiencing and witnessing all the other kinds of love such as between parents and children or between siblings. But romantic love and passion is indeed a stunning, exciting gift and now it is something he experiences first-hand instead of only witnessing it between his parents and the generation before them.

Unlike his sister Sunshine, Breeze did not specifically plan to reach out to and proposition the first interested, single person he met. But from the moment Gabriel assigned Nelson to be his guide, Breeze felt a spark. He felt his insides sing just a bit. Even after a few hours with Nelson, he realized he just wanted more time with him, more time spent hearing his voice and looking at his eyes. And then there was the fact that Nelson kept meeting his gazes, kept giving hints that the interest might be mutual.

So one evening Breeze decides to toss caution aside, reminding himself that life is short and that the worst thing that could happen would be a rejection. He lets his hand linger on Nelson’s arm too long, he moves in too close, and before he knows it, he is having his first kiss.

“Thought you wanted to see the world. But you’ve barely left this lab – or Nelson’s bed,” Gabriel teases the next time he sees Breeze.

“I’m a little less inclined to see the rest of the world, I have to admit,” Breeze says, and he and Nelson laugh.

“Trust me, you’re not missing much in Sanctum,” Nelson adds flatly.

Gabriel is back a few hours later, entering Nelson’s tent with a serious look on his face. “Raven and Octavia just returned,” he says. “You have some important decisions to make.”

***  
 **Emori**

Emori finds she can’t concentrate on her sewing. Sitting on her porch, she looks down and realizes she’s already made a mistake and she’ll need to take the stitches out.

“Mom. Come on,” Dominick says, taking a break from his gardening work. He lays the gardening tool he was working with against the wall. “With all the stuff that Raven brought from Sanctum, you don’t need to keep repairing that shirt.”

“Couldn’t hurt though,” Emori replies, but she knows he’s right. Her hands tend to be sore nowadays too, though she brushes the pain aside. She takes a glance down and muses how her unusual-shaped hand was never an issue for Murphy, never an issue here on Skyring. She hates the idea that her grandson is currently somewhere where things like that could be an issue, could be the difference between life and death.

“Guess you’re right. I’m gonna take a break now and get some water. Do you want some?”

Emori nods, and moments later Dominick is back with two canteens filled with cool water. He sits next to her.

“It was hard watching Raven go again, huh?” Dominick asks. He wipes his brow with an old cloth he’d stuffed in his pocket.

“It was,” Emori admits. “Seeing Aunt Octavia’s reaction was hard too. I guess it wasn’t unexpected though.”

“Indra’s like a mother to her,” Dominick says with a shrug. “So maybe she’ll be a lot happier there.”

Emori nods. “I just wish I knew what Raven will decide. And Breeze.”

Those thoughts have been swirling around Emori’s mind since Raven and Octavia left. Emori feels that Reyes is right and the portal should be destroyed. She doesn’t want to wake up to Wonkru, Sanctumites, or the Eligius people charging through here some day and destroying their peaceful home.

She does want to see Raven and Breeze again though. Raven _appeared_ to be leaning one way, but who knew what she would ultimately decide? Will they really destroy the portal? And if so, would that be enough to lure Breeze into returning? Or would he really forego seeing his family ever again so he can experience the other world?

Rapid footsteps approach and soon Jordan comes into sight. He dashes up to the porch. “They’re back!”

Emori jumps to her feet so quickly that she appears to have startled her son. “Who?” she asks. “Who’s returned?”

Jordan is smiling broadly. “Raven, Breeze, and one of Gabriel’s people. Come on,” he says, offering his arm to Emori.

Jordan enjoyed Skyring – and Sunshine’s attentions – so much that he never even went back to Sanctum with Raven and Octavia. At last he is living in the peaceful world that his parents sacrificed so much for.

Emori takes his arm and heads in the direction of the trail leading to the lake, where the others are already starting to head. She knows her hearing isn’t as good as it once was, but her eyesight is strong. It is indeed as Jordan said. Raven is leading the way, followed by Breeze and a dark-haired man with an expansive beard. Each is carrying several bags. No Octavia.

Emori’s hearing is good enough to hear Jordan happily telling the new man, “You’re gonna love it here.” Emori sees Reyes hug his son, looking overjoyed.

Breeze continues hugging his parents and sister. Emori knows he will get to her sooner or later. Raven rushes up to Emori and gives her a tight hug.

“It’s done,” Raven says. “No more portal, no more going back and forth. This is it.”

“I-I’m so happy that you decided to stay here!” Emori says, for a second getting choked up. “And my grandson decided to return. You will love it here, Raven. I promise.”

Raven nods. “I know.”

Emori sees that the new man is shaking the others’ hands and going through introductions. Raven nudges Emori and says, “Looks like Sunshine isn’t the only one who moves fast. Breeze got himself a boyfriend too. He jumped at the chance to come here. His name’s Nelson.”

Emori peers at him, thinking that perhaps she met him once on Sanctum. She’s not sure though; it was just so long ago. She has to smile. Sure, two of her grandchildren have definitely moved fast, but so what? She and Murphy did too, all those years ago. It was the right decision, and she’s never looked back.

Emori smiles and watches Raven and Nelson begin to join Jordan in their new life here.

**THE END**


End file.
